Navigating the medical system - best practices

[REWohsnus]

Recently I've had some really uncomfortable experiences with doctors and so this leads me to ask what are best practices when it comes to partnering / conversing with them.

As an example, I went to a ob/gyn regarding on an oddball matter that popped up and made an appointment. I hadn't seen them in five years and they spent the first five minutes telling me all about how they weren't urgent care and how I had to come in regularly and have mammograms, be scanned for osteoporosis etc. And I don't want to do those tests. But I also need a doctor to go to at times. How is it best to navigate this. It's not necessarily easy to find a doctor in the first place. EDIT 1/23/21: The issue involved here that I prefer not to get certain tests and/or necessarily see doctors annually unless there is a specific need to. I tend to follow Dr. McDougall's advice in this.However the doctor is telling me loud and clear (before I even asked a question - just after hello - that if I don't have these tests and come in yearly for a checkup I am not welcome in their practice. This IS concerning, because this is the second time I've been told this. The first from an general family practitioner and 2nd time from this ob/byn. The message seems to be comply or find yourself another doctor - which is NOT necessarily easy to do. In all cases I was respectful of both doctors and appreciate their take.

And in another example, I went back to see a doctor after further questions popped up and so made an appointment. The doctor was furious with me. He's a well-respected doctor and I was shocked. He was annoyed that I was questioning him. That wasn't even my intent, other qualified people suggested I make a return visit to clarify a few things. He was extremely dismissive, shut down the conversation from the beginning. Edit: These were not questions I could get an answer to on google.

Anyway - if I need to go and see a doctor, I want to have better conversations even when I do not want to opt for annual physicals and annual tests that I don't think are needed ... best practices and/or your thoughts, or resources would be helpful. I will add that in both cases these doctors were highly recommended and vetted.

EDIT: Some of my best practices:
- vet the medical practitioner
- have your questions ready
- be ready to listen
- ask how and who to direct follow-up questions to.

[viv]

Doctors aren't your partners, they work for you. They are the most expensive doctors on planet earth and you pay dearly for their services. However I am sure right now that the medical community is overwrought with stress and burnout due to the pandemic, every day must be horrific. So cut them some slack but also state clearly and directly what you need in a pleasant (!) manner.

As for the doctor who got mad when you asked him questions, remember google is your best friend. (I've had doctors who googled up stuff right in front of me!)

Viv

[REWohsnus]

Thanks Viv for your reply. I don't think I was clear in my original post and have edited it.

I do care about Doctors and the health care professionals and do give them a break in the current situation. In addition I do research as needed. My question though really centers around having respectful conversation with medical professionals when there is a difference of opinion. In all cases, I have been respectful, pleasant and courteous. I respect medical professionals - have them in my family - and appreciate their contribution.

But my diet and way of thinking about some medical practices is different then the general public. And so I made this post here thinking that others may have tread the same path a time or two and some folks might have some tips.

[Daydream]

Your doctor sounds like an ego-maniac jerk who doesn't want you to question his opinion. I hate it when some doctors think they are Almighty M.D.ieties. This seems more prevalent among older male physicians. I think part of their motivation is that a doctor like that wants income from you on an ongoing basis so when he sees you he's not spending too much time on one issue where his profit yield becomes lower.

I'm sorry I don't have an answer for you but I certainly understand your frustration. I know it's not always easy to find another doctor but I don't think I'd want to go back to a doctor who treated me like that. There are plant based medical doctors who do telemedicine and I might try that for some of my questions. Let us know if you find a good solution! My husband and I relocated and I dread finding a new doctor.

[michaelswarm]

Dr McDougall has written a lot about how to chose and work with doctors.

How to Choose a Primary Care Doctor—If You Must
https://www.drmcdougall.com/misc/2005nl ... doctor.htm

Securing Respectful Medical Care
https://www.drmcdougall.com/misc/2006nl ... curing.htm

Taking Advantage of the Medical Specialist
https://www.drmcdougall.com/misc/2006nl ... ialist.htm

Hot Topics: Working With Doctors
https://www.drmcdougall.com/health/educ ... opics/mds/

Also depends somewhat on your country, and what system within that country that you chose. My family currently lives in Mexico. Quality of care varies between public health and private health, and the medical school of your doctor matters. Each doctors has their own personality. We have found an older doctor who is very old school. He runs his own clinic, draws his own blood, does stitches, pulls thorns, and takes 500 MX ($25 US) cash for most visits, a little more if there are tests. It is not uncommon for a doctor here to give you his cell phone number, and to answer your calls.

We actually first visited Mexico for the birth of our second child. Our US OB-GYN essentially told us they recommended and would only perform an unnecessary surgery (vaginal birth after cesarean) because it was their business practice. And every other practice in the state was essentially the same.

[REWohsnus]

michaelswarm: Thank you for sharing your experience as well as the links to Dr. McDougall's articles. Based on the articles - some which I may have seen in the past, but were worth the time to re-read, I'm definitely on the right track. Many thanks. These articles were helpful.

[MINNIE]

I used to believe that OB/Gyn's were specialists in women's health. My experiences were like yours.
I felt like they saw women as some form of livestock. Not too bright, and needing to be herded . (Also, they may be concerned with liabilty, if a patient of theirs refused a test and later had a bad diagnosis).

Then I learned that they are primarily trained as surgical specialists, not holistic healthcare providers, and that is just how they see things. A particular set of organs, but not a whole complex human.

I searched for a better option and found a good family practice-trained nurse practitioner. She has always listened, and although she doesn't completely approve she accepts that I make the decisions about what tests I will or will not take. If I ever need to see a gynecologist she can refer me, but so far that hasn't happened.

IMO an MD or NP (or other health practitioner ) who was trained in Family Practice will be more open to seeing the whole person than an OB/GYN.

I hope you find the right person -they do exist, but not enough of them.