Oh em gee, this is going to be my best post EVER! So, many of you know that I absolutely cannot string together 30 days of MWL compliance (or even regular plan for that matter). I'm either on-plan or I'm on a massive bender that doesn't even resemble things humans should consume. I am an addictive-type person. I'm an alcoholic and I couldn't stop smoking after trying it the first time. Thank you baby Jesus for not introducing me to drugs until I was old enough to know better or that would have been a problem too. I don't like reality. I don't like emotional pain. I don't like anxiety, fear, confrontation, tension, or anything else that doesn't feel fantastic all the time. I will use anything if I think it will make me feel better. That includes, but not limited to, eating fatty, salty, sugary foods, shopping, watching HOURS of TV, reading fiction, plus a few I've already tackled like cigarettes and alcohol. Had a teensy nubbin of a potential for a gambling problem and fortunately lack of funds scared me away from that before it could get started.
Anyhoo, I know from past experience that much of early recovery consists of white-knuckling it. Just get through enough days to take the edge off. Later it becomes harder in some ways when you don't have appropriate coping mechanisms, meet resistance from loved ones, get hungry without proper food prepared yadda yadda but so far my problem is making it through the early days. One step at a time, right?
So, I've been trying everything I can think of to give myself the courage and strength to fight the early cravings. I've written down things to think about, consequences of falling off plan in terms of health and finances, relationships and emotional well-being, fitness goals, weight goals, reunions and foot races. I've tried surrounding myself with only on-plan food, avoiding restaurants, talking to a friend, having an accountability buddy, attending OA meetings, getting an OA sponsor, reading recovery literature ad infinitum. Nothing ever works.
Now, I don't know if this will work either but I thought it was too "funny" not to share. Recently, my running has been sidelined by Achilles pain. On 3 separate occasions, by 3 different sources, I have been told that my injury is part of the natural aging process. I'm over 40 and I should consider alternative forms of exercise. Tendons get a lot of use, are difficult to rest entirely, and have little blood flow to aid healing. This does make them a good candidate for age related problems. However, there are lots of things that people attribute to aging that are exacerbated by our diets. I wondered if this could be one of those things. I did a quick search on nutrients that could speed tendon repair. I found several sites recommending specific vitamins and enzymes found in fruits and vegetables. This made me wonder if there were particular foods that inhibit healing or cause inflammation in the tendons. I found a website that listed "Top 10 Inflammatory Foods to Avoid Like the Plague." These are:
3. Trans fats
4. Dairy products
5. Feed lot raised meat
6. Red meat & processed meat
8. Refined grains
9. Artificial food additives
10. Any person specific food allergies/sensitivities/intolerances
While I was doing these searches I came across another website devoted to keratosis pilaris. A condition I have which creates red bumps on the upper arms, legs, and other parts of the body. I've always had it on my arms and I rarely wear shirts that expose them. I also have very fat, jiggly upper arms so even more reason to hide them. Anyhoo, the same enzymes that aids tendon healing also has been shown to cure or diminish signs of keratosis pilaris, which I was told by multiple doctors I could do nothing about. Some doctors will prescribe a topical cream and suggest you scrub the crap out of your arms with a loufa but that's all you can do. Once again, no discussion of treating the condition from the inside out.
I thought it was funny that no matter what I'm trying to resolve, my weight, my finances, my running injuries, my depression, my skin condition, it all comes back to McDougall. This WOE is ALWAYS the solution. I hope this knowledge will help me to surrender completely. There is absolutely nothing in my life that can't be made worse with SAD. There doesn't appear to be anything that can't be helped by the McDougall plan.
I am in so much pain right now from the Achilles problem that, perhaps now, I can see an immediate benefit from adhering to the plan. Eating a sugary, fatty treat right now WILL make the achilles more inflamed increasing the pain and recovery time. That's something I can sink my teeth into. That's something immediate that I can use to get me through the cravings. I hope.
Eating salad and Caribbean red beans and rice. Loving it.
The delusion that I can eat like other people has to be smashed.