Discussion Board

okay, printing up that method, for the next time my addiction flares up. looks REALLY good, though I'm not in OA or anything, but I do struggle with an addiction.

thanks for posting it

How's it going? Hope you're doing well and having a great start to a NEW week!! Just been thinkin' about ya!!

I was reading KirstyKay's journal this morning and she quoted a passage from Dr. McDougall's new book (which I, too, am excitedly reading right now):

"The biggest mistake dieters make: "Believing the fault is their own. They must stop believing that there is something psychologically wrong with them; that they are obsessive-compulsive overeaters. There is nothing wrong with the hunger drive. What is really wrong is the food that they are choosing to satisfy their natural cravings."

Kirsty mentioned she will try to follow the plan and not get mired down in all the analysis of why she struggles with food and what's the underlying motivation and how she can fix whatever it is that has caused her to deviate from the plan. I am one of those people who can really get stuck in analysis. While I believe there is more to my food struggle then simply being hungry or physically reacting to hyper-palliative food it's still necessary to move forward... to take action. Writing essays in my private journals, reading books upon books on building a spiritual foundation, whining for hours to my sponsor asking why I'm in this place again does little to change where I am at right now. What can I do right now?

Anyhoo, no sooner did I post yet another way too long post in Kirsty's journal when I saw this email:

"No decision has to bind us forever.

Most of us are no longer sure what we want to be doing a year or even a month from now. When we are called upon to make decisions, any decision that commits us to a certain path in the future, we shudder. Will we be allowed to change our minds?

....

My decisions today will be for this day only. I can change my mind tomorrow."

I need to find better ways to deal with stress, fear, anxiety, sadness, happiness, excitement, failure, success and every other bleeping emotion I subdue with food/alcohol/tobacco/shopping/sleep/TV/fiction but those are long-term, slow-moving changes to make. I need to take action today. I think I get so scared that I won't be able to maintain my choices over the long haul that I get stuck in familiar patterns of behavior. I don't have to know if I'll follow the plan tomorrow to follow the plan today. I have MWL food with me at work and waiting for me at home. I can do this today. Tomorrow will happen tomorrow.

Thank you Kirsty, Dr. McD, and my Daily Reflection email and everyone else who writes about these issues.

We can do this today.

Thank you for this - it's exactly what I needed to start my morning. Have a great day!

Thank you! I hope you know the person looking back at you in the mirror is amazing.

Kelly! This is beautiful. Today...we don't have to think any further than today...and we don't have to get stuck in the mire of trying to figure it all out either. What is my plan right now, today, and what do I have to do to make that plan a reality. Perfect! Thank you.

No, Kirsty, thank YOU!!

I'm feeling good today. I'm on track. Food is awesome. I was eating Rip's Big Bowl from the Engine 2 book for breakfast recently but ran out of blueberries. So, I made sweet potatoes for today. I'm still pretty full. I think potatoes keep me fuller than oats or rice.

I also made a pesto tabouli last night. It has some walnuts in it so it's not fat free but it has no oil. I haven't tried it yet. I'll have a taste right now so I can report....hold on a sec.....DING DANG it's delicious!! I think I put too much bulgar wheat in so I'll add more tomatoes and cucumbers when I get home tonight. But, other than that I'd say it's pretty tasty. OK, now I can't stop eating the tabouli. Lunch is in 7 minutes. I can wait.

My half marathon is coming up in a couple weeks. I'm a little nervous. I missed one of my long runs because I was worried about some pain in my left foot/Achilles/heel. I will not succumb to injury in May and have to sit out the whole summer. If the half marathon is too soon it's too soon. I'm not going to make the same mistakes I've made for the last 5 years again this year. Nothing gives me a greater excuse to eat off plan than feeling sorry for myself over a running injury. Anyhoo, I have an 11 mile run on Sunday. I think I'll have a better idea after that how I'm doing.

I hope everyone is having a great day. So many people are finally getting this and making a serious commitment. I want to be one of those people.

Kelly,
I love it! You've got to share the recipe for that tabouli! Just having you taste it right here in front of me without letting me try it was pretty rude!!

Glad to hear how great you feel. I'm excited for you. I'll be cheering you on for your half marathon!!!! That's something I'm not brave enough to try yet...and by "that" I mean running...around the block!

You go girl!!!

Hahahaa, that's funny Kirsty. I didn't mean to be rude.

Here's the recipe for the tabouli:

http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/2006/09/ba ... pesto.html

It's pretty darned good. I added more tomatoes and cucs and I like it.

I'm having a good day at work. My food is good. I have a run planned for tonight. Nothing special to report.

I think I should check in more. I see successful people on these boards and many of them post in their journals regularly whether they feel good or not. Maybe that's correlated with willingness. We'll see if it helps. I don't really have a lot to say. I've been doing well with food. A friend of mine and I are both trying to get healthier and eat better. She's on Weight Watchers and I'm McDougalling. We are running a race together on July 21st. Well, we're running more races than that but we've picked that race to use as incentive to stick to our meal plans. I know it's not wise to pick weight goals and I don't want to feel disappointed in anything I do if I stay on plan. I would, however, like to be in the healthy weight range by then. There's no reason to think I wouldn't be if I follow the McDougall plan. Today is day 9 of 82 (we made our get-healthy pact 9 days ago) and things are going well.

I might not run the half-marathon I had planned for May 19th. My Achilles tendons aren't getting better. I have a couple friends who ruptured their Achilles tendons and I just don't want that to happen to me. On the other hand I can't seem to completely let the idea of running it go. When I have a bad run I think, "forget it! It's not worth it. It's sucking the joy out of running and you'll never forgive yourself if you rupture an Achilles." So, I decide to just forgo the race. Then, the next day, the sun will be out and I'll have the desire to start running and I think, "Well, maybe if I run real slow and don't worry about my time I'll be OK." Then I'll have a good run and I think, "Oooh, I could have a PR if I just make it through my long run this weekend." Then I try my long run and my Achilles start screaming around mile 6 and the cycle repeats. Ugh. I guess we'll all find out come May 19th if I'm going to run it or not.

Girls on the Run is officially over. So, that's one less stressor in my life. I have the hardest time sticking to my food plan when I'm feeling sorry for myself. It never helps anything but I never learn. Maybe someday.

Anyhoo, things are good right now. I have relatives visiting this weekend. I just found out one of them is really allergic to cats. My cats or my house seem to be especially hard on people with cat allergies so I'm totally worried about it. I'm trying to do everything I can to reduce the allergens. I have closed off the spare bedroom so the cats can't get in there. I washed the sheets, blankets, bedspread and curtains in the room. I moved all articles of clothing, extra sheet sets and throw pillows from the room. I vacuumed the mattress with a hepa filter vacuum and then sprayed the mattress with Febreze allergen spray. I dusted all the furniture and washed the woodwork and swiffer mopped the hardwood floors. I also ran my air purifier, which also contains a hepa filter, in the room for several hours and will keep the air purifier in the room while my guests are here. I also washed my cats with dander reducing serum. I'm in the process of washing all the curtains in the house, moved all the throws and decorative pillows into the attic, vacuuming all the furniture, running the air purifier in each room, and washing all the woodwork. I'm not sure what else to do. I just feel like it won't even help. It's embarrassing that my house is so much worse than other people's. Someone said certain cats are more allergen producing than others but I feel like my house must be dirtier or I'm a filthy person. Not mention, I just don't like to see someone miserable. Eyes watering, nose running, lungs seizing up. I went from being really excited about their visit to feeling over-whelmed and resentful. I hate how my brain works sometimes.

Ah well, that's all I got. I think I'll run tonight, mow the lawn, and clean something.

See y'all tomorrow.

Wow! You are a really really wonderful host to do all that work for your relatives that are allergic to cats.They should take the initiative to take allergy meds You are doing great!RAS

Thanks RAS. My family doesn't expect me to do all that I just can't feel comfortable when someone is miserable especially if I feel like I'm the cause in some way. My cousin's husband is the one who is allergic and he will be drugged up as much as he can be and still function. Apparently, though, it will probably not be enough. I thought if I could just take the edge off a little it might make a difference. Also, I have allergies myself and I thought this might be a good opportunity to see if any of these things help me. I certainly couldn't maintain this level of cleaning long term but if the de-dander serum works or running the air purifier in my bedroom would help then I could do that. We'll see.

I'm doing good right now. I had a close call yesterday. I went to the grocery store after work and had an intense desire for something bad. I pretty much convinced myself I could grab something at the checkout if it didn't have chocolate in it. But, when I looked at all the options I just knew it wouldn't be enough. I tried to imagine how I would feel after I ate it. I could feel the intense need for more welling up in me. I also told myself that if I ate a bunch of crap in the car on the way home I couldn't have dinner. I really wanted my dinner. So, I didn't buy anything. Whew. Of course, this morning, I wanted to grab a vegan scone on my way to work! Geez, Queen Baby, what gives? I didn't buy the scone and I'm eating my regular breakfast instead.

I guess I'm taking it one hour at a time today.

Still hanging in there. I have a head ache today. I plan to run after work tonight. I haven't run since Sunday. I thought it would be good to take some time off and see if it would help my achilles pain. Instead I mowed the lawn, trimmed trees, cleaned the house and that kind of thing to make sure I still moved around a bit.

That's all I've got right now.

Kelly,
You are doing Great! Good job saying NO to Queen Baby! Wow! I sure have been there! Some days really are just one hour at a time...for me too. You're doing it, and it will get easier!

I hope you enjoy the time with your family and that the alergies don't get in the way of you all having a nice visit! You sure have done what you can to make them comfortable...and OMG, you've gotten some good old fashioned Spring Cleaning done to boot! Wanna come over to my house?????? Sheesh-I can't remember the last time I cleaned like that. Must feel good to have it all done.

Hope your heel pain resolves itself soon!