Discussion Board

Congratulations on your 100 pound loss! You look wonderful,and you are glowing!Thanks for all the inspiration you give to all of us.Blessings to you for a great Easter. RAS

Oh! I LOVE Before and After pictures! YOu ROCK! way to go! it makes me feel so good to see this kind of thing! My heart is overwhelmed with joy for you!

yaaaay! kirsty!

Wow you have encouraged so many people with these before and afters. I have 20 to lose but you have encouraged me for sure.
Congratulations and that bike must be yours!!

Debbie, Kelly, Jan, RAS, Nomi, Buns, Marianne, and all you others who have shown genuine happiness and excitement for me,
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! Your encouraging words mean so much to me! I can't even express the gratitude I feel when I read such supportive and uplifting posts! Thank you!!

We had a very nice Easter. My son's baptism was absolutely beautiful and a highlight of my entire year. He shared his faith story with the congregation before being emersed in the water, and it was so moving and he was so well-spoken and yet simple. I felt so grateful to God for everything He has done in my son's life, and for being so faithful to my family. It was wonderful.

The food was mostly a hit. I liked everything, and most people tried everything I made, which made me happy. I think they liked most of it. The asparagus edamame salad wasn't as big of a hit as I had hoped, but I think some people liked it. Anyway, it was a very nice celebration and no one left hungry!

(Post edited for personal reasons)

Here is another quote from The Last Addiction:
"There is no doubt in my mind--whether it be the alcoholic who leaves a thrity-day treatment program and drives directly to the liquor store, or the overeater who weighs in at Weight Watchers and stops at Dunkin' Donuts on the way home--addiction is a wound. NO one would choose the realities of addiction. It is a wound that has its roots in biology, environment, and use or behavior; but it is a wound. And wounds are where Love gets in, and Love is the messenger of redemption." ~The Last Addiction

This is such a beautiful post, Kirsty. As you mentioned, growth is painful. It hurts to come to these realizations and let go of past hopes and expectations. When you're on the other side of this it'll be great but it doesn't make it any easier to go through.

Unlike many of my old drinking buddies, who I eventually had to let go, your family loves you. People don't change their tastes, or their views, or their fears and insecurities simply because we change. Instead, our changes often inflame their issues creating a backlash in the beginning. Their desire to keep things the way they are will remain strong until their hope is gone. Eventually, they'll get used to the new Kirsty and realize this is their only option. Changing back will cease to be something they think about even in their subconscious. Some people will never lose their animosity if they are filled with self-hatred and fear. Some will come to accept your way of living even though they will never change. And some may look forward to trying your stuff when you're around. I bet you'll be surprised in the end who falls into each group. Sometimes the person you butt heads with the most in the beginning ends up being the person who supports you the most in the end. People are unpredictable like that.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this weekend. I admire your openness and willingness to work through these issues. So much of people's struggles are hidden inside and to the outside observer it looks easy. We think we must be the only who struggles. We must be weak. There must be something wrong with our character. So we are ashamed to ask for guidance and we never learn how to walk through these painful stages. You show all of us that it's not easy but it can be done. You also provide a blue print or outline that we can follow and modify when we walk through these same or similar struggles. We can feel confident knowing we are not alone and we can feel hope that it is possible to overcome.

the pain DOES hurt, but once you feel it and get through it, you no longer have to spend lots of energy hiding from it. It's there; it's part of you, it's part of your life, and knowing it, seeing it, naming it, accepting it, you can then let it go. It loses its power to hurt you any more. (((HUG)))

sounds like your family takes the FUN out of dysFUNction

Kelly and Heidi,
Thank you for your compassionate and reasoned responses to my emotional outburst. I truly appreciate your wisdom and that you both spoke truth into my situation. I have thought a lot about what each of you said, and of course, you are right. I really like the hope that both of you left me with...the reality is that this is a transitional time, and I am still getting used to all of it...so of course those around me are too...

I'm glad I'm changing, and that I am feeling all the things that go along with this kind of change. And my family will learn how to accept me, just as I am learning how to live transformed.

Thanks, friends! Your words of wisdom really helped me process and get out of my own head a little bit! Love ya!

Ahhhhhhhhhh KirstyK ((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))) many coming your way .You are a great encourager! keep on doing this for YOU. RAS

What a beautiful contest application story! You look so healthy, and I really hope you win that bike. Thanks for sharing!

Thanks RAS, I FELT those hugs! And thanks for your encouraging words, Veganlady!

I had an amazing day yesterday. I needed to get out of my funk, so I decided to take a long walk at the lake near my house like I often do. I set out to walk 3 miles, and 5 miles later, I felt like a new person. I spent a lot of time pouring my heart out to God and talking with him about what I've been feeling the last couple of days. I realized, as I think I mentioned before that I am FEELING a lot more in general...a product of no longer medicating my emotions with food. I think I am just really learing how to deal with that!

My time in nature and talking with God completely renewed me! I left feeling happy and refreshed and loved and full of hope...I have a new sense of my role in my family's life and their role in mine. And, although things won't change automatically or overnight, I think I have changed, which is all I can really do anyway. I think I was asking the wrong question: "Why can't they love and accept me?" And I felt God asking me if I could ask a new question: "What is the best way to love THEM?" And, I realized that you are right, Kelly...thank you for telling me the truth...that they DO love me, just not always exactly the way that I'd like.

Today I had a great talk/walk with my good friend and processed some more about what I experienced. One of the things I think I was holding on to was my belief about what it means to live in freedom. I am coming to the conclusion that my expectation of freedom involved the absence of the struggle. I am beginning to realize that I have had it wrong. It's not the absence or struggle or pain, but the ability to live in wholeness amidst the difficult things of this life that defines true Freedom. It is childish and naive to believe or hope that the struggle will cease to exist. But the ability to navigate through it successfully...now that is true freedom. And I believe that the abiltiy to do that comes from a place beyond myself...namely, it is the power of God that allows me to live in true freedom.

I won't be posting my weigh in until Saturday because I'm going to the Nourished conference: http://nourishedfbc.com/ ...I found out about it from Susan Voisin's blog. She's speaking at it, and it's very close to where I live, so I signed up! I've been thinking for a while that I'd like to someday start a blog, so I thought attending this conference could be just the thing I need to get me started in the right direction! (I'm especially excited to hopefully be able to meet Susan!)

Hope everyone has a great McDougally weekend!

Kristykay!! hi and I really did appreciate all your honest writing about what is going on in your heart and mind as you go thru your McDougall life. It is so nice to realize that we are not alone. In the small grid of McDougallers or even as the vegans lo-fat and all, we are so few in number, but at least we are going to be standing tall in the healthy lane of life. I can identify with the numb and dumb feeling of the food as medication to block out the feelings. Gotta face them all and move on, a tall order on some days.....
I love to walk in nature too, and that is so calming to me too.
You are an inspiration to me, and I keep telling myself that all together I can do this too.

Carollyne,
Thanks for your comments. It's nice to know that others can relate. Makes me realize I'm not as crazy as I sometimes feel!

Had a great time at Nourished, but was disappointed that Susan Voisin's flight was cancelled and she couldn't make it...still, all in all, I'm glad I was there. It got me all excited to get going on starting a blog. I know a lot of people here have their own blogs, but I've always been a little intimidated to start one. Now I don't feel that way anymore. I just feel excited. So...my techie hubby is looking into hosting sites and will help me get one started. I've already picked a name. I'll let you know when I'm up and running.

Had a nice relaxing Saturday today which was nice after our busy week. Hope everyone is doing well!

I would totally read your blog!!!! I can't wait to see it. I have more to say. You've really been on my mind this week but I don't have time right now. I'll come back. Have a great day.

Kelly, Thanks! I'm glad to hear from you...I was just about to post on your journal and see how you've been doing this week...guess you're on my mind too! I look forward to hearing from you when you have more time.

Thanks Kris! My dh got the domain and a host, and is beginning the process of formatting my new blog! Should be a couple of weeks, and I'll be up and running. I'm excited...and a little nervous. But, no one has ever accused me of running out of things to say, so I shouldn't have much to worry about.

I am still making my way through THE LAST ADDICTION. Some chapters are easier than others to take in. Some I have to read numerous times.

Here's an exerpt from what I read recently that I've been chewing on this week:

"We get into trouble by hoping that whatever we choose is THE Solution rather than surrendering to the journey of transformation; the journey of choosing again and again. The struggle will not end, but each battle comes with another invitation to redemption, which makes the struggle redemptive in itself.

You may be wondering, 'But when is she going to tell us what to DO?' My answer is, 'Do everything--everything that you can think of, that you read about or hear suggested by well-meaning friends.' ...As the AA slogan suggests, 'It all works, if you work it'; however, the work itself is not our savior. In this hard work we must stay open to something outside of ourselves; eventually we will have to surrender to that something; we will have to give in to it as completely as we once did to our central activity (our addiction). It must become what we think about when we wake up in the morninng, what we plan for, what we talk about, what we give our time and energy to, what becomes the momentum of our lives."

I am focusing this week on what it means to live a surrendered life. I'm not there yet...maybe this pursuit will take a lifetime. I am so accustomed to doing what I want, getting what I want, being absorbed by what I want...this, I am certain, needs to change...like KKrichar's journal-"freedom from the bondage of self." I think the key to this kind of living comes in choosing a different way of being. What this actually looks like, I am still trying to figure out. "The struggle will not end, but each battle comes with another invitation to redemption, which makes the struggle redemptive in itself.