Discussion Board

Amy,

I'm so glad you are here and I look forward to following your journey. Banana ice-cream is another good recipe to search for to help fix that sweet tooth. Also, just put some bananas in the freezer and snack on those. So good. Pineapples are nice and sweet. You are doing great. Take it 1 meal at a time and celebrate the times you are on plan

Hi Amy!!

Just read your report! Don't beat yourself up too badly, just get back on that horse and keep riding!

You are very fortunate to have a husband who is willing to help you get temptation out of the house. Remember this, and try all the harder!

Chocolate cravings!! Uh oh!! I am the king of transitioning into this way of eating, but cravings aren't good, and are a sign of an addiction, and I'm not sure there is any easy way to transition out of an addiction. I allow myself some chocolate in the form of dark chocolate chips. A few of those in the evening bring me much pleasure, and are a nice treat. But I wouldn't say I have any cravings for them... if I did, I think I'd quit, like I had to do with butter. I can honestly say I have an addiction problem with dairy and that the only way to deal with it was to quit it entirely. I'll allow myself a little cheat here, a little cheat there, but NEVER a little cheat with dairy, as it'll only cause me much grief. Too many people struggle with this program because they can't break addictions to poor food choices.
Make an honest evaluation of your food choices, and consider giving up entirely any that you have addiction problems with. It's not easy, but as with all addictions, once you go without for a while the cravings subside and eventually become quite manageable.

Keep at it! We're rooting for you!

-Norm

I noticed you spoke of "The Beast". One of the best things I've done since beginning this way of eating is to include a weekly mini-fast. I'll eat a slightly larger than normal breakfast on Tuesdays, and then not eat again until breakfast on Wednesday. There are many benefits to the mini-fasts, talked about in this thread; http://www.drmcdougall.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=22599

and on Lani's blog; http://www.lanimuelrath.com/fasting/5-reasons-to-try-mini-fasts/

The most important thing I think they have done for me is to de-fang the beast. Now if I find myself stuck somewhere where there are no good food options for me, I don't have to eat. Hunger doesn't panic me any more, cause we both know, "The Beast" must be fed. I still feed him sometimes, but on my terms and my schedule.

LOVE this concept - I totally have a beast and it does DEMAND to be fed right now. I love love love the thought of taking away its power!!

More later about my report out for the weekend, but thanks Diss and Norm for great comments!

I'm so bummed and very mad at myself. In just over a week I managed to completely fall off the wagon! I had a meeting with our wellness person at work and it's confirmed that I have gained 10lbs since fall 2011. I feel like no matter what I do I gain weight.

I feel desperate, out of control, confused and misguided. I also feel addicted to chocolate (which prior to having my son I never even liked).

If I could afford weight loss surgery I would definitely sign up for it.

I just don't know what to do with myself or how to turn it around. I've basically been doing some form of dieting on and off (aka yo-yo) since 2000 and I am really tired of it. I feel defeated...

Hi Amy,

I totally get the feeling of defeat and complete lack of faith in myself to follow this plan. Most of the time I feel like it's anybody's guess what I'll eat today. It doesn't seem to matter how desperate I am, how much weight I've gained, how much I hate how I look and feel, there's still a really good chance I'll do the same thing today that I did yesterday and the day before. I've already walked this path with alcohol and cigarettes and I know that it will get easier. I know I will experience life changes that I can't even imagine right now. Some days I read posts here and feel inspired and other days I just feel depressed and angry because I can't seem to do it. I know that's not true. I just have to believe I can do it and keep getting up after I fall. We can totally do this, Amy. Someone once told me in AA that alcoholism is a disease that defends itself. Whenever it looks like you might succeed in defeating it the cravings and mental obsessions get really bad. That's alcoholism fighting to stay in my life. I like to think about my food issues the same way. The withdrawal we feel when we kick the oil, sugar and salt out of our diets is our food addiction fighting to win. Everyday we stay on plan is one more nail in the coffin of food addiction. Unfortunately, every time we have one little bite or lick here and there it refuels that addiction and we must start again on day 1. But, I've seen people come in and out of AA for years and one day it clicks and suddenly they have 30 days, 60 days, 1 year, 5 years. It's so incredible to watch. I have 7 and a half years of sobriety and I have 1 day on McDougall. I want to be the person everyone sees finally kick this food thing. We both can do it.

We just need courage, strength and hope. If we don't have it right now it's here, on these forums, in the words of the people who have succeeded before us. It ours for the taking. We just need to surrender to the program. Try it for 1 day, again, and follow it 100%. If you can do that then you can try it again the next day.

Good luck and I am with you.

We all struggle since our favorite foods are usually all around us. Just pick yourself up and look for some new recipes. Then you start getting new favorite meals and snacks and you can replace the unhealthy things with McDougall safe items.

Also, once you're used to eating this way, it's easy to come up with simple, quick snacks to tide you over because your tastes change. For instance, now I'm often perfectly satisfied with a can of rinsed and drained chickpeas (sometimes sprinkle with garlic salt or chopped onion).

Just keep trying and you'll find yourself succeeding more than not.

Hi Amy,

I've been there and understand where you are coming from. The journey has some really hard moments. It is possible though and there are many people here to witness to that. Know that what you are experiencing is normal and the struggle you have is NORMAL. Okay. I would recommend you look at Dr. Lisle's information if possible--either read the book the pleasure trap or find a dvd. Take 1 meal at a time. So you had chocolate, move on what's for dinner?

Not everyone has it in them to make sudden big dietary changes and then stick with them. You might be one of the many, who, like me, just can't do it. I do suggest you try again, though, because it's an easier road to go down for those who are able.
But if you just can't stick with it... then consider a compromise. Consider implementing this program a bit at a time. That's the road that got me on board. I made changes I could live with slowly, and in a few months I was 95%+ McDougall compliant. Compare that to many who repeatedly try the "all or nothing" approach, and who bounce repeatedly between "all" and "nothing". Some have been trying that approach for years with limited success. My method has no guarantee of working for folks who don't have a lot of weight to lose, but for people who do have a lot to lose I believe this method has a higher chance of success. This is because the larger you are the more calories it takes to maintain your weight and the greater the chance that a few small tweaks in your diet can yield noticeable results. Results build confidence, confidence builds determination, and determination make implementing more aspects of the program easier and more likely to succeed.
My approach is different, and it's been the subject of much debate and derision on the forums here. More than one person has said they don't think my approach can work because they've never seen anyone actually pull it off before. Yet here I am, 149 pounds lighter with more momentum and determination than ever, and the only end in sight being my end goal which I can clearly see way off in the distance.

So go ahead and get back on that wagon and try again. But if you find the "all or nothing" approach ends up repeatedly in the "nothing" side of the equation, then remember there is still hope for you and I'd be willing to guide you down the same path I took.

-Norm

kkrichar - Thanks so much for your heart felt thoughts. It feels good to know I'm not alone and very good to know that you can relate to my struggles. Your quick reply gave me hope and a feeling of togetherness that I am super thankful for!

Caroveggie - Thanks for your comments! In a small way I do think my tastes are changing, actually now that I think about it - I think my tastes are changing in a big way! I am going to write more about this in my entry for today. I do agree though, I am finding this WOE is just easy if you let yourself think of it that way.

Sksamboots - Thanks SO much for pointing out that I am normal!! I think we all like to hear that reassurance and it does make me feel better. I have watched one of Dr. Lisle's videos and I didn't find it that moving. Maybe I missed the big point. I get the motivation triangle thing but I kind of missed the takeaway. Thanks for the reality check too that it doesn't have to be a big deal if I don't make it one.

Norm - You are AWESOME and priceless! I don't know how I got so lucky to have you as a reader and commentor (yes, I know I made up that word) but I am so grateful for your thoughts and ideas and your willingness to keep tabs on me and visit this journal! I like to think I am an all or nothing type person and in a lot of ways with my thinking I am, but I have tried that approach with many failed diet attempts and it never seems to work for me long term. I think mentally I am finally getting to the place where half way doesn't feel like failure. This has always been an obstacle for me because I feel like if I don't follow the plan 100% than I am a loser and I might as well give up and then I eat with reckless abandon that leads to poor choices and probably a binge type approach. Also, it compounds my feelings of low self worth and reinforces that I'm not good enough, strong enough, etc...all those bad thoughts that can roam around your brain and take away your personal strength and power. Boy, you really got me thinking!! More soon on my newest update!

A very small success yesterday got me thinking that maybe it was a HUGE success...

So, I've done a lot of reading here - mostly when I'm avoiding work (seperate issue that needs to be dealt with, thanks kkrichar for your journal!) and I get nervous when I hear what other people eat compared to what I eat. I think my quantites are out of whack, but I just don't want to let that be a road block to me.

As of this day I am just going to try stuff - rather than limit myself with the belief that if I can't do something (or can't do it 100% which is typically my prefernce). Once I start thinking about how hard its going to be or I won't be able to do this 100% of the time for ever and ever I freak myself right out! One one level, I do want to look at this woe as a forever change. I know SAD doesn't work for me and I have never liked eating meat (but I never let myself embrace that before). But I was talking to a friend yesterday and she encouraged me to just think of McD as the best for me RIGHT NOW. Don't worry so much about forever, because forever will be based on the new habits that I am forming with McD versus the old junky habits that I am working to move away from. Very profound and I think that does help to take some of the pressure off.

My success was simple. Yesterday I ended up staying home with my son because we are both sick. He had a fever and needed to be home. We're not home much (something I am also working on with this woe) and so therefore our kitchen and food isn't always that well stocked. Add to that that I was out of town last week and its tax season (hubby does taxes) and that equals a recipe for diasaster in our home. Our house is a mess, cluttered and I haven't done much in the kitchen this week (Oh yeah, I was sick this weekend too and it was painful to even think about getting off the couch). Ok, so it's lunchtime and I have no clue what to make. Usually I would go out and get something but I didn't want to make my son leave the house. So, believe it or not - the easiest thing was to whip up a McD friendly lunch! I threw some frozen veg and beans together, boiled with veggie broth and put over brown rice. (Is this is SNAP meal, still trying to figure that out?) I know this is basic McD 101, but I was amazed by the feeling of satiety I had after eating and I was so darn proud of myself. Three strawberries finished off the meal and left my mouth feeling fresh and pleasant (this is an issue for me since giving up soda) so MAJOR BONUS!

At first I was just a little proud of myself - but then I got to thinking about it and I got really really proud of myself. Dinner wasn't as great but feeling so good about lunch made me realize that I am not willing to compromise as much at dinner as I used to. This has been another roadblock in the past. Thinking that I should eat 'whatever' for dinner because its easier to go with the flow and easier on everyone else.The path of least resistance is losing its appeal which is AWESOME!

Add to that I have been giving up soda and I have allowed some other drinks I normally wouldn't (like lemonaid and carbonated flavored waters) I know that the sugar in lemonaid is empty calories and the artifical sweetner in the carbonated beverages isn't good for me but I am trying to take baby steps. Last night at trader joe's I found a pink lemonaid flavored with carrot juice to sweeten it and an instant mix ice tea packet flavored with cane syrup and stevia. I am pretty darn excited about the both of those. It feels like a natural evolution to making great choices rather than telling myself no soda and only water. That feels so much harsher and in reality the transition period has been pretty short!

My issue with beverages comes down to when I eat food I don't like the flavor being left in my mouth (talk about over analyzing, right? ) So that's where missing soda comes in and that's where the other drinks have been a great substitute but oddly enough, the minute I'm done eating the beverage loses its appeal. I think fruit is going to be my go to last bite. I tried it yesterday at lunch and dinner and it made me feel so good. Of course, I forgot to pack some for today, but I'll do better tomorrow. After dinner I had one clementine and it was an excellent end. I know the folks into food combining will tell me that the fruit will putrefy before it digest, blah blah blah...but again - not willing to let that be a road block either.

I was tempted to weigh myself today because mentally I feel like I'm making progress but this is another common pitfall for me. Because my mind is changing I expect my body to fall in line and that often doesn't happen. Then, when I don't see a weight loss, I get discouraged and want to give up. So, I'm giving it another week before I weigh in.

Thanks to all for reading my journal - sharing your thoughts and yourselves and making this a really cool board to be a part of!

*p.s. Sorry for the long post!*

Congratulations on your successful day!!! Success breeds success.

I love long posts. It gives a better glimpse into how a person thinks. Granted, this is a food site not a counseling or psychology site, but we are here to share our experiences. If I read long posts and the thoughts and actions remind me of myself I think maybe what helped me might help that person. Or maybe the poster has completely different issues than me and I think maybe they need to try something different. That's one of the great things about journals and the diversity of ways people walk through this program. Hopefully there's something here for everyone. Chances are we're not unique but we're not all alike either. Telling every single person to do the exact same thing may not be helpful. People are complex. The thing that makes this program hard for me is the chatter inside my own head. You can tell me to eat my veggies but it won't turn off the noise. Somedays I need someone to tell me how to turn off the noise.

Keep up the great work!

Amy, I am really proud of you too!! The road to Complete Success is paved with many many small successes! There is plenty in your post I want to comment on, but do not have the time as I have to leave in a few minutes and will be busy most of the day. But I want to make one point, which is at the heart of the "Norm Method"....

You can choose to enjoy the positive energy from this small success and use it to build more success which will create more positive energy and lead to even more success..... until one day SOON you're giving it 100% and living the Happy Life...

Or you can choose to beat yourself up over not managing to give it 100% today, which makes success tomorrow all that much harder and turns what should be a joyful transition into pain and misery, which only leads to failure for far too many people who cannot overcome the hurdle they put in their own way.

You're going to make it! I believe!

More from me later!

-Norm

Yea for you! I am still working on this WOE, but let me offer you some light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to soda (at least, this has been my experience). I had a bad Dr. Pepper habit, made worse by some sinus surgery that involved poking extra holes in my mouth so the sinus would drain which means I have a little sinus drainage most of the time which leaves my throat dry. Dr. Pepper was the only thing that would quench that little bit of scratchy throat. Dr. Pepper was one of the last things to give up for me, but I found that after eating this way for a while, I no longer craved that Dr. Pepper, in fact, I never even think about it any more (I have given it up before, but I always longed for it). My last D.P. (my "clean and sober date") was around November 15, 2011. I rarely drink anything but water now and I am all good with that. When I started this WOE, I ate a lot more fruit than I do now, and I think that helped. So, I think you are on the right track by finishing your meals with a little bit of fruit. So, stay the course. Your friend was right -- you don't have to commit to this for FOREVER, just your next food choice... and then the next one...repeat! Stay the course...you are doing great!

Sharon

Here are more comments on your post today.

Don't worry about the quantities other people eat. Right now you need to focus on the WHAT to eat and let the HOW MUCH be determined by how much it takes to satisfy your hunger. Right now it doesn't need to be any more complicated than that.

Your friend has some wise advice. I remember from AA many years ago the concept of "one day at a time". In the early days of recovery most alcoholics have to focus only on making it through today. Sometimes, only on making it through this hour... If wondering if you can do this long-term freaks you out then focus only on one-day-at-a-time.

You learned a big lesson here!! Eating this way CAN be quick, easy, and satisfying. It need not be complicated and we need not make it so.

Dinner doesn't have to be difficult, even if others in the family are eating different food. Most SAD eaters will eat SOME potatoes. SOME vegetables. SOME rice. Make sure that any meal you serve your family has starches and vegetables. For them those things might only be side dishes they eat along with their meat or whatever. But you can make enough of them so they're your whole meal. Your whole family can sit down and eat and be happy and sharing some of the same food, just in different proportions.
Some dinners are a bit harder than others. You might be making a casserole that has cheese or meat in it... It's not really that big of a hassle to combine all the ingredients everyone will eat first, then divide into two separate cooking containers to add in different ingredients to each. A little more time and one more dish to wash, but it isn't THAT big of a hassle.
What if your family will eat vegetables but only if loaded with oil or butter? No big problem. Cook them plain and let them add what they want to theirs. Or set your portion aside before you add offending ingredients to it.
If you're the one doing the cooking, it's not hard to eat McDougall, even if others in your family aren't.


Making a lot of changes all at once isn't easy!! Giving up soda isn't easy! Some people do just fine switching to just plain water. I did. My wife struggles with it. One thing that helps her is to put slices of lemon in her water.

I am very proud of you resisting the urge to weigh yourself. It can be hard. I didn't weight myself the first three months of my diet changes. I wanted to focus entirely on making changes I could live with, knowing I'd be making them for a long time. Sure, the scale can be a great motivator, but it can also be a huge discouragement. In the end, it has to be about making healthy food choices you can live with. Focus on that. Hold off another week on the scale.

-Norm