Discussion Board

I'm up 1.6 pounds this week. I'm not worrying about it. I think it'm retaining some water. My body is weird...Like I said on the MWL thread:

I'm here and I'm not leaving until I get what I came for!

Not a big weekend planned...going to a play that my neice is in tonight. And of course, the Super Bowl! But not a big party or anything, so I'm in charge of what I eat. I'm going to make my hearty veggie chili, and that'll last for several days. I looked at some other recipes, but I think I'll just keep it simple.

Today, I'm making minestrone soup...been craving it. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Verse for the Day:
"You fill the hungry with good things!"
Luke 1:53

I like your positive attitude!

Thanks, Grandma Jackie! I appreciate yours as well! I've enjoyed reading about your "Eat More Starch" challenge.

Plugging along here. Not much to say today. Hope everyone is doing well.

weight today: 180.8
FBS: 103

I'm doing well. I had been having some excruciating lower back pain that seemed to be getting worse. It has been keeping me away from the gym and from moving much in general. Well, dh and I decided it was time for a new mattress anyway, and decided it was worth trying that...bought a new one on Saturday, and after the FIRST NIGHT I was amazed to wake up pain free!! We realized that our mattress was 17 yrs. old!!! Just one of those things you don't think about, I guess! I'm happy to say, I've been without any pain all week and realizing it was keeping me pretty inactive. I've been back to the gym this week and it shows on the scale. I love our new bed!! And I love waking up in the morning without any pain.
Who new such a simple solution would make such a big difference! I'm so glad we tried that before I made an appointment with my doctor!!! It's nice to feel like myself again.

Good morning!

This was a tough weekend. My cravings were raging and hard to resist. I did have a whole wheat bagel with peanut butter, but I feel like that was a victory considering the manner of things that I could have eaten...and WANTED to eat...and ALMOST did eat. The thought really occured to me to just give in to the cravings and then start again on Monday. (That was a blast from my past dark days of dieting, for sure!!!) I didn't really expect this kind of a battle at this point because I've been doing really well. It shook me up a bit...I was hoping I was done with the cravings, but they were nothing less than a mental assault all weekend long. Anyway, I survived the battle, a bit wounded, maybe, but still here and fighting. I'm not giving up!

Peace

I Kirsty,

I have an occasional bagel, but I have learned to eat them dry. I am doing the regular plan and not MWL--well actually I go back and forth between the two programs. I don't lose weight fast, but I am still losing (about a lb. a week more or less). However I cannot have peanut butter in my house. It is one of my binge foods and if I have it in the house I end up eating the entire jar all by myself. So I picked the lesser of the two evils--the bagel. Also I do a lot of my own baking in order to eliminate oil and eggs.

kirstykay, count me in on the last 50, the home stretch. I hit 180 this morning and have that final 50-60 to go. Since I'm short, I'll have to go a little more than 50, I think.

Reflecting on the posts about food addiction, something about addictive sugar, flour, oils, and salt--when I eat foods composed of these substances, I tend to have stinking thinking. My thinking gets all messed up, and somehow I convince myself that just this once, I can play with danger and come out unaffected. Speaking from experience, it's simply not true for me.

I've lost nearly 100 pounds twice. Twice, I ate myself back into the mid 200's. This is my 3rd time to drop the weight and so far, I'm at 54 pounds down in 5.5 months. This time, my goal is to get healthy, to eat healthy foods, to learn how much food my body needs and what foods will pile on the pounds again. I'm learning the importance of consistant exercise, too.

Does it take will power? I believe it does. It also takes knowledge. The more I learn about health and nutrition, the stronger my fortitude to do it right this time and keep it off.

Let's work this thing! Sounds like a great group of forward-minded folk who want to change things for the better.

Grandma Jackie--Thanks for the advice. I appreciate you sharing your experience and wisdom with me.

Jellen--Glad you're here! You've got it exactly right! I think that bargaining we do with ourselves to convince us that "this time won't hurt" leads to a very slippery slope of destruction! I appreciate your input. Yes, let's keep working it. We will get there! Congrats on the 54 pounds in 5 months! You must be very energized and excited to carry on. Here's to the final fifty! I'm glad you're along for the journey!

I had a much better day yesterday, and the scale is down today. I'm feeling positive and energized and empowered by getting through a weekend that could have killed all my momentum.

I'm reading a really good book right now called "The Last Addiction." It's really making me deal with my issues and think long and hard about recovery and freedom and how to put an end to the destructive patterns in my life. I will share more as I process. It's hard, but it's very good for me to be doing this work...all the while working the plan.

I'm finding my exercise to be very sporadic. I am not in a good daily habit so I'm talking myself out of it more times than not. I feel like there are so many things I need to work on...and sometimes I just get tired of all the work. But I know it's worth it, so I keep pressing on.

Hope everyone has a happy McDougally Day!

That book sounds interesting. What's the main focus? The title makes me think of how I tend to replace addictions with new ones as I put others behind me. I always say it's like that game whack-a-mole. You beat one down and another one pops up. I think the reason for this is because I don't deal with whatever it is I'm trying to escape. As long as I allow myself to numb or escape uncomfortable situations I'll always need something to help me do that. I want this addiction to be my last one. I'm trying to walk through my fears and discomfort. Maybe I should look for that book.

Good job getting through your weekend. I had the exact same weekend only I wasn't as successful as you. I got too hung up on my lack of weight loss and 2 and half weeks of painful PMS. I felt betrayed by my body and the plan and I let Queen Baby have her way. I regret it and seeing how good you feel about yourself for resisting makes me want to have that feeling too. Maybe next time I won't let it get me down. Thanks for being such a great example.

kirstykay, I too, am working on the freedom part of this journey.

I try to remind myself that "Nothing tastes as good as freedom feels."

And since I don't want to be a slave to any addictive substance, I have to fight for my freedom or be overcome again.

(2 Peter 2:19) ...For whatever overcomes a person, to that he is enslaved."

I've had a few slips on this journey--most of them this past month. Somehow, I thought the rules wouldn't apply to me--since I'm exercising daily and doing so much right. But the simple rule of excess calories always seems to come home to roost.

Do share more about that book. And I appreciate the verses you share here on this thread.

Kelly and Jellen,

The book is THE LAST ADDICTION by Sharon A. Hersh.
Sharon is a recovering alcoholic, but she identifies many addictions that hinder us that I think we who are struggling with this whole food thing can really relate to.
From her introduction:
"I hope to stretch your thinking about addiction. The truth is that no one escapes the reality of compulsion. Everyone loves something too much. Everyone struggles with passion gone awry...We all suffer from the same condition. We all seek a resting place from striving and suffering, and we often cling to what promises to be a haven, only to find out that we have created our own hell. I hope this book will deepen your compassion and commitment to yourself and to others, all those who are in bondage to something that initially promised to make everything better, until it made everything worse."

Here's her outline:
~"Part I begins by uncovering the lies we tell about addiction. As we see more clearly our own hearts and our longings for intimacy, we will be able to put words to the lengths we will go to kill, satisfy, control, or find substitutes for those longings.
~Part II tells some true stories about addiction. In truth, we learn most about ourselves and the true meaning of redemption in reading of strugglers who fall down, get back up, and fall down again.
~Part III considers what redemption looks like. This is not a self-help book. I am deliberately not using the words recovery or overcoming, because these words can get us into more trouble. That's the last addiction, the idea that I can save myself with myself. We know-I mean deep down we know-that it is futile to try to save ourselves with the very selves that got us into trouble in the first place.
~In the final chapters we will examine the healing path and what it means to live-really live-in newness of life, free from self-defeating, self-enslaving patterns of behavior."

One more quote that really resonated with me:
"I am convinced that the experience of addiction and redemption can include many gifts. This book considers the gift of getting caught, because this is when we have the chance to experience being known, loved, and still wanted. We will find the gift of wisdom in telling the truth about addiction and its place in our lives. We will examine the gift of humiliation that leads to the gift of surrender--the ability to exchange my way and will for another Way and Another's will. We will look at the unlikely gift of woundedness, because wounds, no matter how painful or unsightly are where Love gets in with the healing gifts of mercy and forgiveness. And all along the way we will be looking for the gift of hope. Hope is what pulls the soul forward, and if your are mired down in addiction or love someone who is addicted, you know that hope can become a scarce commodity. Finally, we will define the gift of freedom, that newness of life that doesn't mean the ability to do whatever we want, but that releases in us a longing to want the One in whom we were created to live and move and have our very being."

I'll stop there, in fear that I'm just going to re-type the entire book right here in my journal! If you want to read this with me, I'd love to discuss it with you as we work our way through it. We can figure out the best way to accomplish that, if you're game. I'm just starting it, so I'd love to have company!

Peace

OK, that book sounds wonderful. Let me take a look at my schedule and get back to on reading it together. I just started sponsoring a woman in AA and I'm very excited about it but it takes time. I also signed up to coach for Girls on the Run. I've wanted to do that for years but never made the commitment. Again, I'm excited but it's time consuming. I also volunteer at the jail meeting with women with drug and alcohol problems.

Anyhoo, you don't need to hear my schedule. What are your thoughts on reading it as a group?

Kelly,
That Girls on the Run sounds so cool!...You're cool!

No pressure at all about the book. I'm reading it and loving it, and I'm just going to keep going with it. If you end up reading it and want to talk about it that's great...whenever. I'm probably going to post things about it here, too, and your comments are always so insightful and very welcome!

Hope you're having a great day today!

I'm sick today. I have a sore throat and a cough and headache. I think I may even have a little fever because I'm shivery and then hot and then shivery cold again. YUCK!! Taking it easy...lots of tea with lemon...not much of an appetite, so I'm not really eating much. I may have some hot soup later, that sounds good. I think I'm going to take a nap. Hopefully this will pass quickly!

Happy McDougalling to all!

Kirstykay, sorry you're under-the-weather today. Do you have a chance to get a little orange juice or especially, some raw or juiced greens? So many vital nutrients in the raw fruits/veggies that will go to battle for you...

Thanks, Jellen. I am feeling a bit better tonight. The chills and fever are gone and my throat feels better than it did. I actually DID make a green juice and sipped on that this afternoon. I wasn't up for making soup, so did that instead. It had: Swiss Chard, Spinach, Carrots, Lemon, Apple, and Grapefruit in it...I think it's helping. Other than that, I'm drinking LOTS of tea and water... We'll see how I feel in the morning.