Discussion Board

I'm not one to give religion or politics much thought, since I find them to be time consuming (with little benefit) to worry about, but since my wife has started going to a Christian oriented church in the summer, I feel like she's pushing me and the kids to "convert".

If I were to label myself to a religious denomination, it would be Buddhism - but not the rituals and belief in constant chanting, but the message which the Buddha tought.

When it comes to Christianity, I do believe that a person named Jesus Christ walked the earth, but I do not believe that he was the son of god - in fact, I don't believe that any religious "god" exists - I believe more in nature and the universe directing the flow of things. I don't really care WHO created it as I don't find relevance in knowing.

Today, my wife came home after a long talk with the pastor (who bashed Buddhism) and basically said that my illness (Crohn's disease) is a spiritual illness and that we have to either remove the crosses from the house, or my Buddha statues so we aren't sending a mixed message to the kids.

Another thing is the kids... They don't believe in the "miracles of Christ", like walking on water or instantly healing the sick, but they are being coached into believing that's 100% fact and real. They are also in conflict with the science teachings we are giving the kids and have been teaching the bible as fact. This worries me considerably as it confuses the kids into believing something which science has proven otherwise.

I don't know why she's so blindly falling into this - it's totally out of character for her. She even had to stop reading bible stories because it was scaring the kids by how vengeful and cruel god could be when people disobeyed him. But she continues to push these beliefs onto the kids and takes them to church programs several times a week.

This is more of a vent than asking for advice. I just don't care about religion one way or the other, my priorities are to get healthy and move on with my life. She's been told that praying is the only way will cure myself and she gets angry at me for "not trying". She has also been told that I became sick because I hate myself (which is not true! I love myself and am grateful for everything, even being sick, as it has tought me so much about life) and in turn, hate god, so that's my punishment... I'm so put off by all this.

Sorry to hear you are having conflict in your home. I do hope you are able to come to a compromise that works for everyone.

http://www.zenguide.com/principles/caus ... fering.cfm

I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit. Ecclesiastes 1:14

I know that it won't convince your wife, but I've known several Christians (not just in name, seriously "on fire for God" Christians) who have Crohns. My brother is one of them.

As for advice, mine goes pretty much totally against Dr. McDougall's advice. Many Crohns patients find relief by drinking raw milk. Raw. It's not available in every state, though. Probiotics are very helpful, as often Crohns is developed after excessive use of anti-biotics or a lifetime of excessive medication and/or processed foods (all of which can and will cause gut bacteria dysbiosis). Dr. McDougall's diet recommendations are great in that he focuses on whole foods- not processed junk. But beware that excessive fiber can exacerbate symptoms. You may want to look into fermenting foods as well (better than a probiotic pill). Sandor Katz has a wonderful book on how to ferment.

I would expect you to do well on Dr. McDougall's diet, but if not, you may want to look into GAPS (Gut and Psychology Syndrome) or SCD (Specific Carbohydrate Diet)- both are intended to be short term (6 months to 2 years) diets to heal the gut lining- aka leaky gut syndrome.

And one more thing- watch out for allergies. There seems to be a correlation between seasonal allergy flare ups and Crohns flare ups. Seems to do with the histamines, but no conclusive studies yet.

Hope that helps! And, if all else fails- they do say that both prayer and meditation are great for healing. (Ok, I know you didn't ask for advice, but with my brother suffering from Crohns, it hit too close to home for me to ignore. Forgive me?)

Wow, that is pretty harsh... I don't know that I would be able to 'worship' in good conscience anyone that would physically harm my husband and the father of my children like that.

That manipulative pastor is giving me the creeps even from my end... can you have a heart to heart with his superior?

I am so sorry you are going through this....I"m not sure he is doing anyone a favor by exploiting his position to say that God is responsible for our Health...we are what we eat..plain and simple...maybe he needs to clean up his diet so he can see a little more clearly..

NO ONE can force you to believe in anything. YOU are the master of your own mind.

I agree 100%. However, truly believing and pretending to believe have to be considered , now that the word "divorce " is being thrown around while the kids watch.

Like i said previously , i stay away from religion and politics because they bring me no benefit.

If you and your wife can handle this right, it's a great opportunity to each your children about religious tolerance and getting along in a diverse world. That you and your wife should have different views on religious matters is a preview of the diversity of beliefs and practices they will have to deal with in life.

Confusing to the kids? Yes, but they are getting mixed messages every day from the media, their peers, parents - about what to eat, how to behave, and what to believe. She has a right to introduce them to Christ just as much as you have a right to introduce them to Buddhism or Atheism. I hope you are able to find a way to love one another and be accepting of those differences. Maybe you can have one room that is Buddhist and other that is Christian and all the other rooms can be neutral territory.

That pastor is a total creeper. What kind of God is this that will punish you unless you believe in him? Sick.

This is a Control Game your wife wants to win. At least that's what I thought when i read your story.
Think over your story from this perspective for a while, and maybe you will find the best solution for you and your family.

some thought of mine:
Why not remind her politetly that.....
-try to say to her that Jesus invites rather forces and that needs time
-Say that you heart what she said and you need time to think and feel about all these things
-ask time for yourself
-say to her that her place is next to you and maybe that is given to her by Jesus to learn something
-and when you get really well physically (trying DrMcDougall Diet for yourself) then the pastor will have nothing to say about you anymore!!

my friend, i wish you, everything to get balanced again in your life and happy!

Christians and Buddhists?

What do you get when you cross a Lutheran and a Buddhist?

Someone who sits up all night worrying about nothing....

If your wife is throwing the word "divorce" around in front of the kids there is something wrong with her. Tell her that is NOT OK. Ever. It frightens the kids. You two work out your issues WITHOUT the kids "watching".
You'll be sorry if you ignore this advice.

So sorry you're having these issues. Perhaps you may want to consider counseling with a neutral and experienced counselor, in order to help your wife to see what you both agree on (rather than what you disagree on)... Then explain the 2 religions to your kids and let them decide. I sent you a note. Hope things get better soon!

PS - Our mtg. broker (who lost his wife a few years ago) got married last year. He's an athiest and she's a devoted Catholic who sings in the choir. He's a very kind and caring man, and treats her like a queen. They are very happy! Love and respect can overcome obstacles when you focus on what you both believe.

That sounds rough, I wish you well. You have a right to your beliefs just as she does. You both need to learn to be respectful of each other to make this work. If she can't do that I suggest counselor that is neutral. Her church sounds very rigid and harsh.