It's been a few days. First thing I want to do is get rid of the guilt. OMG I ate, what beef? Well, I did, but this is a transition time and I am not going to hide the facts. Som, there fore am not going to make excuses either. I read the beginning of Frozvveg journal. and I was encouraged that she went from a very tied 180 to an active 129. I cant believe it. So, if anybody wants to lecture me, go ahead abecause I wont answer you, but I will read it. I am in push mode. Just like with studying for my finals. I know it is going to be good for me, so I have to push through until it starts making sense. I have a frig full of vieggies, but the kitchen is a mess so I starved yesterday. I was so hungry! I have been eating eggs and fried opotatos for quite some time. And so after 4 days, I made soem today. The egg yolk was disgusting. I was full half way through. No this has to be all psychological, becasue it has only been 4 days. But It doesnt appeal to me anymore. I need to find something I want to eat. I dont want to use soymilk anymore but oatmeal doesnt have that Oh boy, I'm going to have oatmeal feeling.
I have been faithful all week to get up out of bed by 5:20 put on my work out clothes that are waiting for me by my door, blend up a bananam, strawberries, and protein poder...drink that down and grab my water bottle. I am at the gym by 6am working out. So far two days of pumping weights and two days of spin class. Today at spin, my muscles were little out of energy and it was tough going for the first 20 minutes. then I didnt like Take Off , but I wasnt so sluggish. I came home feeling great and made myself the egg breakfast I talked about. Why do I want to eat something that ws intended to be the norishing medium of a baby chick? ewe. Oh yes, had a bagel and cream cheese too.
I have been starving. I just look in the frig and dont see anything. So, I grab a frozen bag of brussle sprouts that eases the hunger. Next I grab an orange. Next a handful of rainins and I give in to a bowl of stew on the stove that ws made for my son.
Like I said my kitchen is a mess. Going in to clean it now. Have two pots of beans on. white and pinto.Bought a new Bamboo cutting board and will organize kitchen today to occomodate new lifestyle. My hosue is in ruins because of the concerted effort to study. I have today off and I need to make a huge dent.
I dont want to research anymore, but I really have to...hence the push to just tread water. I do have a lot of McDougals DVDs. Frozveg suggested I get at least one supportive message in a day on my new lifestyle. Sounds like a plan. I'll probably get some ideas on what to eat.
I have read some posts today...stay away from dried fruit. Only two pieces of fresh fruit a day. half calories should be yellow and green veggies. Eat uncooked foods.
I am not getting enough water either. OK long rambles. At this point in the game, I have to not care. I just have to get my toughts out. I am going to do this. I am committed. I just havent found my niche yet. A dalily habit. I am so glad I am exercising again, because I actually look better after only 4 days. I am going to conquor this lazy attitude of falling back into old ways, because it is too hard to push through and start something new. If I can get an A in Cell Biology that I had to study and form new concepts in my brain about, I can do this. And that is all I ahve to say today.
Thank you so much for listening. It helps to know I am not just writing, I am being heard. No editing. This is my journal.