i'm going to check out that badgut website tonight.
i really dont like blended/cooked apples for some reason, i like the crunch. it wont be forever. today i made some banana ice cream and that helped.
this morning i wasnt in pain at all, until i ate some fibrous foods so its the bulk/fiber thats causing pain.
i dont like the taste of buckwheat and i prefer potatoes over quinoa. but i love all colored potatoes and yams. ive been making sure i get more variety and that helps. not as much for sweet potatoes as they are softer but the yams at the asian market might actually be a type of sweet potato from what i've read so who knows lol.
Loveskale, i have not had bread in years but the smell still makes my mouth water. so does the smell of coffee! lol! i think my biggest addictions for food are chemicals like coffee and diet soda then real food. those were harder for me to stop eating. i also have a strong desire for hot liquids. i couldnt take this when i went all raw. the smell of spices used to drive me nuts when i was trying to be fruitarian. i still crave spices a lot and not sure why but read anorexics tend to use lots of spices and maybe its from not enough zinc. and i crave salt like crazy if i try to eliminate it but then my blood tests showed i was severely hyponatremic, my sodium levels were dangerously low. so i dont try to restrict that anymore as my dr said point blank, do i want to live? i'm confused over sodium but my adrenals seem not to be producing the hormones needed to eat a ultra low sodium diet. so for now i just let that go.
i'm a little confused what to do and i know this doesnt apply to others and maybe there isnt really an answer to this. but i think i'm craving fat.
i have no science to prove this but it seems when your weight gets very low that maybe there is a need for more fats. i know babies need more but their nervous system is growing. maybe the craving is just my bodies way to try to survive with little volume? it does seem to help with my hunger which shouldnt be true but is for me. but thats one of the reason i drink ensure, its very fatty/creamy, and doesnt cause pain and i stop thinking about food. my dr. also wanted me to have 700 cal a day in fats/protein rich foods and now its 500 with the 2 ensures. she said i need more fats too since i'm not producing the hormones so yeah, i just get confused.
so i was thinking the fats in the ensure really arent even the decent oils, it has calcium caseinate and whey protein which arent vegan and i read that dairy can cause intestinal bleeding too. then its sugar and synthetic vit/minerals. it works because it gives the macroneutrients i guess and just enough (chemical) nutrients but maybe if i used oils which were ANTI inflammatory as i think nuts/seeds could be causing digestive problems, that would be better, might even helpful and still easily digested? i read this (half way down) on oils and maybe one of them might be ok until i can handle the fiber more? http://www.pcrm.org/resources/education ... tion8.html
i could use the vega for the protein and maybe now it might be ok and banana and strained nut milk. once i can tolerate legumes, i can stop the added protein but i know my dr. is very concerned over this that i need more protein now. i least it would be real food? i could take out one ensure and then the other later? i'm not sure what oil would taste good though. i'm not sure if i'm craving fat really as i'm desiring the ensure and ice cream which is fat/sugar. my dr also made it clear to me i dont need to worry about my cholesterol so i could even put coconut in it if i wanted. she would be happy if i gained weight. i disappointed her this week and i feel bad. i just know it seems the bulk/fiber needs to be limited for now and somehow the ensure is satisfying my hunger and maybe its because i do need more fat now? i dont know. it would be the same amount of fat but i think i would feel better if somehow i were totally vegan again and eating foods that are a little healthier and not made in a laboratory. its very hard to eat right when my bowel is in such pain. i had banana ice cream today but it wasnt quite right and i think its because of the lack of fat. i really dont like the feel of oils in food so this is odd. sorry if i'm not making sense as i'm not sure whats in those that i'm really desiring and needing.
also maybe its ok to add some spices just not peppers? that would add more excitement to my food. i just dont like to cook much. i dont have much of a desire still. i'm just wanting creamy and dont think it would be smart to eat much in the form of nuts/seeds right now. since i cant have the apples now i'm looking for something else besides potatoes. the vegetables in bulk are causing me pain but the ensure and potatoes arent and i'm liking those. i just want to move on from the ensure. its very hot here and the cold foods are good right now.
if anyone has any input, please go ahead. again i know this is against mcdougall but i am not sure what is healthy for me right now. my dr. doesnt think ensure is a great idea but is for it right now for me but i just want to go one step up?
ill go to the organic market and look at the other starches and pick something else out tues.
i just need some easily digested proteins/fats for now. i guess i'll get the tofu salad but since i dont know the calories/fat in it it stresses me out. i'm actually feeling more hungry now and want foods that cut this off without pain (too much bulk) and without too much stress (mentally).
ok, i'm weird, just want raw apples, potatoes, steal cut oats and ice cream, nothing else lol.
so i guess you can see why i hold no judgement on anyone else with eating who is trying as i understand how difficult and complicated something so simple can be lol.