Discussion Board

Aww poor baby. Even the CIO advocates say waiting until 6 months is ideal.

We are totally attachment parenting styled over in these parts, but you probably figured that out.

I could go on and onabout Baby Wise (or Baby Dumb as I call it), but I will just leave it at I could not disagree or hate something more.

Lucas slept in our bed for the first 6 weeks and then moved to the Arm's Reach cosleeper, attached to our bed, until he was 6 months old for night time sleeping. He took all of his naps on me, in the Moby wrap, until he was 6 - 7 months old as well. I wore him to sleep (or my husband did for nighttime) or walked him in circles to sleep. At 6 months he moved to the crib in his room and slept much better at night there, otherwise I would have been happy to keep him in our bed/room for much,much longer.

He also began napping in his crib then.

He woke up every 2 hours at night to nurse until he was 6-7 months old (when I got sick and had to quit nursing) and then he woke at night probably every 3-4 for a bottle until around 12 months.
Around 12-13 months old he started letting us rock hima few min. and putting him in his bed awake and going to be happily (no crying at all). This was shocking to me and very rewarding for all the hard time I'd put in! lol

I still often have to walk him to sleep for naps if he doesn't fall asleep drinking 'milk', but his sleeping habits are pretty great. Oh, he sleeps through the night since 13 mo,too.

Anyway, all this to say that I amthe total opposite of Baby Wise. I still wear him in the Ergo and we're very baby led.

I am a breastfeeding (naural weaning), cosleeping, attachment parenting type.

We don't have "rules" per say but we believe in carrying our babies, sleeping with them close and nurturing them at the breast.

We believe in gentle discipline...firm limits when needed but no spanking/physical punishment.

I don't understand that crying-it-out style of parenting and it makes me especially sad when the baby is small.

Debbie and Jenny, it's nice to learn more about you both!

Definitely attachment parenting! Co-sleeping and nursing (for years, and yes, they really do stop on their own!). Home(un)schooling, which for us, is a natural progression of child-led learning.

With my 4 children I nursed on demand and never considered anything else. As far as sleeping arrangements go we had them in their own bed in our room for about 4 months then in their own room, but they all knew that morning was time to get in with mom and dad if they wanted to. With our first we always walked her to sleep and then later she would throw fits if we put her in her crib when she didn't want to go and my husband was a slave to her each night trying to get her to go to bed. Finally with our 4th child I just put him down when it was time to go to sleep from day 1 and he fussed for a few minutes the first few days and after that he would just go to sleep. This saved us a lot of trouble but I don't know if this would work with all babies, maybe he was easier than most. If you wait they learn to cry, you have to do it from day 1. With all of them I would nurse them in bed when they woke up at night.

I start out with attachment style parenting; nursing, wearing, co-sleeping, etc. The older they get, the more strict we are as far as discipline goes. Time outs, extra chores, "the early bedtime." I call it around 3yrs. old. I can't stand sassy disrespectful children. The media coined a phrase "free range" children. Kids with no boundaries or rules to follow. You know the ones cussing out their parents at the mall.

I homeschooled for 3 years for early elementary and loved it. I'll do it again if the need arises. I don't see that as a parenting style as much as it's a reaction to our terrible public school system.

I guess our parenting style is conversation, warning with misbehavior and then consequences such as stuffed animals going down to the basement for a day. Our son just turned 3 and I think we've been very lucky. He hasn't been sick. He's even-tempered (for a toddler) and he responds to direction. We don't watch much TV and he doesn't even watch very many kids videos.

My husband is still a nominal SAD eater so our son drinks milk and eats meat if my husband gives it to him. I'm hoping that once I lose more weight that have a longer history with McDougalling that he will come over to the McD side of the street too. Atrraction, not promotion I guess.

I tried sleeping with my son when he was younger but we both toss around alot and ended up butting heads - literally!

Debbie: The older I get, the fewer answers I have for anything

Can you put your daughter into preschool a couple half days a week? Just pretend she's potty trained by taking her to the bathroom before you leave the house, again as soon as you arrive and cross your fingers. Send 2 changes of clothes. Most early preschoolers have accidents so the staff won't catch on that your cheating. Being around other kids and watching them go potty will encourage her to finish her training. She knows what to do, she's just too busy to stop and go to the bathroom. Plus it will give you a couple hours peace in the day.

I fed my two miracles on demand but I did establish a kind of daily routine for them but it wasn't set in stone. Both of them slept in a rocking cradle in my room at first but at ca. 6 month they were in their own rooms. They have never really slept in my bed. I let them fall asleep on my chest and then put them into their cradle. It worked for them and me.

I definitely follow the attachment parenting approach with my boys. As my oldest is getting older, we are also quite strict with him in terms of expecting respectful behavior. We have three rules in the house: be kind, be honest, and be respectful. He will get a timeout or lose privileges, but that is happening less and less these days.

Debbie, one idea might be to start early potty training your 3rd girl. Catch her first thing in the morning, right after naps, just whenever you think she might have to go. Maybe that would encourage the middle one to be more consistent? My 16 month old son uses the potty several times a day, so a baby that young can start toilet training.

I am currently b'feeding my 4-year old DD and we co-sleep.

We are also radical unschoolers.

I am also a strong proponent of attachment parenting. But attachment is not that hard. Your child will be attached to you and you will be attached to your child even if you don't breast feed your 2 year old every 2 hours at night. And it also doesn't mean you are a better mother or that your children will be better adjusted. To each her own, but for me I had enough when my daughter was 17 months old and still woke up at night every 1.5 hours. And the breast feeding wouldn't put her back to sleep! So obviously she needed to learn how to fall asleep and stay asleep on her own with some help from me. My second daughter was the same. She was 6 months old and she would wake up at night all cranky, I would breast feed and she wouldn't go back to sleep, then I would have to walk around with her in my arms for an hour up to 90 minutes. I stopped feeding her at night and now when she wakes up I give her a soother. She still wakes up several times at night at 9 months old, but simple soother or holding her hand for 2 seconds helps her get back to sleep.

Honestly, I believe that your child deserves the best mother he/she can get. Sometimes you have to give up some habits to give her better ones. Such as having enough energy to play with her happy like not Zombie like during the day, teaching her good habits in loving way but efficiently and not snapping at her because she threw a ball of cereal on the floor because you haven't slept well at night and are exhausted. Or hating your child's father because no matter how much he pitches in - it doesn't seem much comparing to what you do. And a child with 2 happy parents is much a happier and ATTACHED child.

I am all for attachment parenting and God knows I had many sleepless nights walking with my babies rocking them to sleep, but dr. Sears and dr. Gordon are a) being misinterpreted by too many people who are trying to justify their parenting style. b) are not clear enough, c) sitting in their ivory tower and giving advice without actually realzing the deeper damage this can do to the relationships, the very one's they are trying to protect!!!
Just my 2 cents, I thought this needed to be said on this thread.

What I mean to say with this, as long as you are giving your child what your child needs, you will be an attached parent. Sometimes as parents we tend to misinterpret the child's cues. I am also a strong believer that your child needs to do age appropriate things, not because she has to, but because she is capable and with gentle guidance shows interest.

I read about Meyers-Briggs mothering style test. I have got very interested in the issue. I took the test myself. After taking this test I have to say that I was a bit surprised by the results. Some results were made spontaneously, some were not.