Discussion Board

One of the members here sent me a note asking if it was ok to contact another forum member that hasn't posted in their journal in some time. They want to know if it's ok to send them a PM asking if they are doing ok. I replied that it certainly didn't violate any rules but I thought it might be good to get feedback on whether this is a good idea or is it better to either just post a brief "how are you doing" to their journal, or as the third option, just leave them be.
Seems there is pro's and cons to everything and this is no exception. Do you think the former journaler would appreciate a note or would better appreciate being left alone?
Again, there is no rule against PM'ing anyone but I'm curious what the group thinking might be. If you are uncomfortable sharing your ideas just PM me with your thoughts.
Thanks
f1jim

There is no way to know how a former journaler would think or want; we are not that person. Assuming feelings is what causes problems here sometimes.

The PM feature is just that, a PM. One of the benefits of the PM is that the recipient usually receives an email notification (if they selected that option), so if the person is not on the boards, they'll receive the communication. They can choose to respond or not.

This is a public forum, so by being a member, one opens themselves up to receiving communications either via the board or a PM. If they don't want to be contacted or particpate any longer, they should withdraw their user account.

I wouldn't mind if someone wanted to message me. I think my own journal has probably dropped into a black hole by now. I started with a journal at the beginning, but now I don't feel the need to keep it up. Progress in losing the weight has been steady but s-l-o-o-o-o-w and I don't so much want to be reminded of just HOW slow, if you know what I mean.

i don't mind if people pm me and sometimes I do pm people out the blue...as you know! I haven't been keeping up my journal much, since unless I am complaining, not much to say! lol!!!

Hi Jim,
I agree with the posters above. The PM feature seems like a good thing to me. Email is so anonymous and it's easy to delete or even block communications that are not wanted.

I Have had people pm me,& I didn't mind,made me feel good.I have pm'd others in the past too. RAS

I agree with RAS. It makes me feel good to know people are thinking about me and care enough to let me know. I love the community here and I think it's one of the things that makes this plan possible in a world where this is totally counter-cultural.

Agreed. I haven't been in the journal forum long, but the main reason I am posting is for some accountability while I form new habits. If I stopped posting and someone PMed me to check in, I would appreciate it.

About a year or more ago, I contacted another member who hadn't posted in some time, and I had really missed her posts. She didn't mind at all, and she filled me in on what she had been doing - she had become occupied with another endeavour that she was interested in (unrelated to diet) and had become quite busy with that. One can always ignore a pm if they wish. I don't mind getting pm'd at all.

It looks pretty unanimous that those here don't have a problem with an inquiring PM. Of course, all of us here that responded are active members, too! Trying to put myself in the other persons shoes I too don't think I would be upset with that. It might make me a bit embarrassed or surprised but I don't see myself getting angry or hurt by it. That's why unless I can see a good reason not to do it I think it's not really an issue. Someone would have to be pretty sensitive for that to hurt or upset them.
I appreciate the feedback and for the member that PM'd me it looks like you have a lot of support.
Thanks
f1jim