Discussion Board

So my husband is a wonderful sweet guy, but he has the worst eating habits. Totally SAD diet, meat (fast food) EVERY DAY, plus 2 sodas a day and not willing to make ANY CHANGES.
A couple years ago I started a diet based on whole foods, starch, veggies, fruits, beans, nuts, etc. The problem now is that we have a 10 month-old boy and even though so far it's being pretty easy to keep him away from meats, I'm sure won't be long until his grandparents (who eat exactly like my husband!) and my husband will be sneaking sweets, meats and other kind of foods.
My husband simply won't eat anything I cook. He eats sandwich and campbell's soup at night or an omelette, but refuses to eat anything prepared by me bcs bcs won't have meat...
Any suggestions? Do you have this problem? I'm really concerned when I leave my child at my in-laws at some point they won't respect (I know they won't) my way of raising him and will stuff food down, that's the way they reward and love...with food.
Tks!

Think of it this way:

You're the one who feeds your child 90% of the time. The few times a month that anyone else offers your child a meal that isn't perfect won't affect his overall health. He probably won't even like the meat. Sweets are going to happen lots of different places. You can always pack a lunchbox with your childs healthy favorites but don't make a big deal out of it if he eats whatever they serve.

It won't serve you or your relationship with the entire clan to fuss and make a big deal out of the food thing. Choose your battles in other words. I choose the battle about caffeine. I make it really clear and let everyone know that my kids aren't allowed. That's the only issue that I really stand firm on and since the kids rarely get it they get sick if they "accidently" get some. That teaches them they really didn't want to feel that way and they stay away from it on their own.

The meals at home with hubby are a time to get creative. Make yummy plant based dishes and a small portion of a meat item. This is where I have been taking advantage of the abundant pre-made entrees that Stoffers makes. I am not liking to prepare and cook meat items these days. For tonight as an example I am making brown rice, steamed vegetables, and a stoffers meatloaf. Of course I won't be having the meatloaf but the other items are safe for me to eat. I do cringe when the kids choose meat but after a year, I'm getting a little better.

My whole family is eating alot better than they used to and I am able to make 3 to 4 vegan dinners a week that they don't even recognize as meatless. Meatless sloppy Joes being one of them. You can't even tell that it's made with meat substitute! I cook up a batch of tater tots with that and they have their "not quite a SAD" meal.

About a month ago, my husband got a craving for an omlet. He made a special trip to the store to buy eggs and everything. I cooked it for him so he wouldn't get egg germs all over my kitchen. Afterward he thanked me and I made a face. I told him that it was hard to accept thanks for something that I knew was damaging to his health. It's normal to feel anxiety about it when your family continues to eat crap.

Just lead your family by example.

If it makes you feel better you aren't the only one. My DH really tries though but he's very used to salt and fat so the meals I make aren't always satisfying. I'm happy to say he's not putting butter/Earth Balance on his toast and he's being a lot more mindful but it hasn't been an overnight change.

Just keep doing what you are doing and shining that example on him, he will see the change in you soon enough and follow suit, especially when he sees you enjoying all the food you eat.

As for your little munchkin, his age is the perfect time to get his diet correct. When mine were younger I had so much more control, but as they got older and were exposed to more junk it got a little out of control. But now we have found out that the baby (12 years now) has inherited my high cholesterol so DH is a lot more flexible with it, knowing that it's not only me but my son who needs to eat differently. It puts a whole new spin on things. Sometimes I get ticked off when I think about it though "when it was just me eating this way you cold care less about eating like me" but I'll take the blessing because it is what it is.

Anyway I know how frustrating it can be! You are in good company and have good support here!

You have my sympathies. I probably would have responded like your husband had my DW tried to get me to change my diet before I was ready. It took some gentle nudging by my son and a scare from angina that got me to accept that I needed to change my diet and lifestyle if I wanted to live past 50.

You're setting an outstanding example and as long as you're making great meals <<eventually>> he may mellow a bit and try some of it. Or it may take some life changing event to change his ways. Or it may never happen. After all, he has a lot of company - 99% of the rest of the American population. Just show that you love him and let him know that you are sincere in your concern for his health.

It's good that you have taken responsibility for your son's diet. Appeal to the grandparents that they need for them to respect parental boundaries. You are doing this for the health of their grandchild. The science is on your side. If they question your dietary decisions, show them the free information on this website. Let them know you care for them and are concerned for their health as well.

Thank you so much guys for all your support and advice. I guess I will have to let it flow a little I'm glad there's a support group here when you don't have one at home!

Great subject! Just what I was looking for tonight....the feedback is awesome and very helpful for my own situation. So thankful we have this discussion board!