Discussion Board

Today My 10 year old daughter asked if she could have a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch without the cheese. She knows we don't have cheese in the fridge anymore, but she spotted some margarine. Grilled cheese was always her favorite comfort food. It broke my heart a little, I've only been making the kids eat McDougall for a couple of weeks now and it's hard for her to understand the changes. My husband thinks I should buy some cheese and make her the sandwich once a week. What do you think?

Well first off, is this really an issue for her? I know so often us parents tend to feel things are much more a concern for our children than they actually are for them. If she is asking for a cheese sandwich without the cheese maybe that is all there is to it and no need to fret over it meaning anything more than that. As far as actually going out and buying cheese, that would not work for me because I'm 100% convinced of the harm and even more so for my girls since they will eventually possibly go on to nurse my grandkids, so for me feeding my kids cheese would be no different than giving them cigarettes or sprinkling arsenic in their food or even worse. However, if I was just trying this out and/or only thought cheese wasn't the best choice or had just some doubt or felt okay about compromising myself on various occasions than if my kids wanted cheese I would get them cheese even if I wasn't eating it myself.

I wouldn't waste time feeling guilty or bad about it though. We can't let out past choices dictate our future ones and that's a good life lesson in and of itself and one honestly I've found kids are much better about than adults give them credit for. As long as you are convicted she'll get it, but if you are uncertain about it then it's only fair to give her her input as well. Missing certain foods isn't necessarily a heart breaking issue here... when we make major changes it's to be expected that we will miss things about old ways, but that in and of itself does not mean we wish the old ways back!

Ultimately though of course it doesn't matter what I think... what does your daughter think? I think I would give her as much information as possible if she has any doubts herself so she can at least make an informed choice whatever you decide.

I can't speak to how this would go over for someone used to the 'real' thing, but one of my kids used to love making these http://vegoutwithus.wordpress.com/2009/ ... led-cheez/

It sounds to me like it might be time to try finding some alternatives first. Have you tried a hummus and toast sandwich? Or one of the not cheeses from butternut squash or nutritional yeast, etc like Summer mentioned? Sometimes favorites can be replaced by entirely different foods like vegan pizza, french 'fries', or ants on a log.

i would add the brilliant alternatives Kiki posted in addition to the regular rotation AND serve up the grilled cheese as you were thinking... once a week for awhile.... then once every 1.5 weeks.... then once every 2 weeks.... etc., you get the drift.

working w/ kids for too many decades to admit, must say it seems if you make something verboten around the house, they'll gravitate to it out in the world.... now, and every chance they get - or later, and possibly permanently.

give 'em good stuff on a regular basis, and eventually your daughter will think grilled cheese is boring and rather greasy.

There are plenty of cheese alternatives out there, and I don't mean the 90% fat soy ones, either. Bryanna Clark Grogan has the Ultimate Uncheese Cookbook that gives recipes for making all styles of cheese, including some that go great on bread to make grilled cheese sandwiches with. Here's a blog post I found with a recipe:

Grilled "Cheese" Sandwiches

The "cheese" is a sauce, thick or thin, created by Bryanna Grogan Clark called "Golden Sauce" or "Melted Cheese." The thick version makes a great sandwich. The thin version is delicious on steamed vegetables or macaroni, or used to top a casserole and broiled or baked to brown the top a little. Here we provide the directions for both. This is a variation on a recipe that is in several of her cookbooks.

Ingredients:

3/4-1 cup water (use 3/4 cup for "cheese" use 1 cup for a sauce)
1 medium potato (about 4 oz.), peeled and chunked (Allergy note: if you are allergic to potato, use 3/4 cup cooked white rice or millet instead of the cooked potato)
1/2 medium carrot, scrubbed and chunked
1/2 a medium onion, peeled and chunked
1/2-3/4 cup medium-firm tofu or extra-firm Silken tofu or about 1/3 cup raw cashew pieces
2 tablespoon sesame tahini
1/4 - 1/2 cup nutritional yeast flakes (depending on how "cheesey" you want the flavor)
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon salt or 1 tablespoon light soy or chickpea miso plus 1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon garlic granules
8 slices of bread for sandwiches


Simmer the potato, carrot and onion in a small saucepan with the water, covered, for about 10 minutes, or until the carrot and potato are tender. Add to the blender container with the remaining ingredients. Blend until very smooth.

Turn on your grill. Toast the bread for the sandwiches and spread the thick sauce over four of the slices of toasted bread. Place under the grill and allow to melt. Remove and top with the remaining slices of toasted bread.

Serves four.

Sauce: Makes 2 and 1/2 cups (wheat-free; can be soy-free). Serve immediately or refrigerate, covered for up to a week (to use, reheat over gentle heat). If you make the thicker "cheese" version and want to use the leftovers for a sauce, you can thin it with a little hot water.

Bryanna Clark Grogan is the author of eight popular vegan cookbooks, including vegan bestseller Nonna's Italian Kitchen and is co-author of several others. She writes the popular subscription newsletter, The Vegan Feast, and maintains a vegan cooking blog. She has devoted 40 years to the study of cooking and nutrition, the last 20 to vegan cooking. Visit her website http://www.bryannaclarkgrogan.com.

Thank you so much for all your thoughtful responses, my house has been full of stomach flu for the past week, hence my delay in replying. Actually it's been helpful, because it took the focus off of the cheese issue

Today my daughter is back to school and will be here for lunch. I'm going to surprise her by making one of the recipes you've provided, and hope that it goes over well. I have no access to fake cheese where I live, but next summer when we move back to Canada I wouldn't mind trying out some Daiya for the kids strictly on a treat basis, as I understand that it's only slightly less fatty than real cheese.

Again, thanks for the great replies, they were much appreciated.

I would also like to add that if it is only on occasion, you could try one of the commercial cheese substitutes. The one I give to my daughter is called "Daiya". Although it contains a lot of fat, it melts and tastes very similar to dairy cheese. I feel that giving my child a small amount of fat upon occasion is far better than ever giving dairy.

Just to update that my daughter is doing great and getting used to our new way of eating. I did get some fake cheese in but surprisingly it doesn't get used very often and I think she's forgetting about the grilled cheese issue.

It sounds like this was a great teaching moment.
f1jim

Yes, definitely try some of the homemade "cheeze" recipes. Bryanna has some great recipes, and the Ultimate Uncheese was actually written by Jo Stepaniak, and I use it the most often - and it has a couple of grilled cheeze recipes.

Update - my daughter is doing well and thriving on her no cheese diet her new favorite lunch is mommy's homemade Chinese noodle soup. I bought her 'why we don't eat animals' by Ruby Roth and we often discuss the fact that the milk in cheese is better for baby cows than her. Success!

So glad to hear your young daughter is on board too! This is the only way of eating my 12yo has ever known (disclaimer!: except we didn't give up added oils until 3+ years ago and he does still eat a lot of nuts, although I don't), and I'm always happy to see other young people "eating healthy"!