Discussion Board

1. Tiredness

There's healthy food in the fridge/cupboards but I'm just *too* tired to fix anything. Yes, too tired to even wait for water to boil for a McD cup or nuking a tater. Quick/easy/I-don't-have-to-do-it foods then perform their siren songs. Sometimes I'm lucky enough ( ) just to fall asleep before I get entranced but more times than I like to acknowledge I get sucked under.

With the New Year here and everyone making fresh new resolutions, I thought I would bump this thread to the top and make it a sticky for a few weeks.

if you are looking to fine tune your program or wondering why you may be struggling or not seeing the results you would like to as quickly as you would like, you may want to review these points.

I have updated them and added in a few new ones.

1) Poor Adherence/compliance. Sometimes from lack of application and sometimes from lack of understanding of the principles.

2) Misdirection of focus/priorities. Focusing on matters that don't really effect your health while not focusing on the ones that do.

3) Minimizing/Rationalizing the effect of certain behaviors and/or personal preferences, **especially in regard to certain foods**.

4) Too many processed/refined and/or calorie dense foods, especially those that are marketing as being "healthy."

5) Not understanding the difference between something that is "allowed" on occasion in small quantities, and something that is "recommended."

6) Inadequate exercise/activity

7) Not planning ahead. If you do not plan ahead for success, you will most likely not find it.

8 ) Time. Healing and results take time and for some of us, it may take a little longer than we hope.

9) Mcdougall "Plus" - This is where you mix the principles taught here with other principles you have read or learned somewhere else that are in conflict with the principles recommended here. While there are some program that are very much inline with these principles (ie, Esselstyn, etc) most are not.

Wishing you all the best of health in 2009.

In Health
Jeff

Thanks for caring about us! --and sharing in such a clear and straightforward manner.

The best of health to you, too, Jeff.

Loved your question Satco bob, great to think about when starting the New Year!
My top ten

8 of which are Stress
9 Social pressure to eat what every body else it eating
10 Not taking the time to cook interesting food

I hear you! I am not young, but I spent a good deal of my 20's and 30's chasing the illusive weight loss butterfly only to fail and fail time and time again because I was looking for an "easy" miracle diet. It was always something new every month. You are in the right place and you will find some good places to eat with your friends. They will adjust to the changes in your eating habits and it will be normal for them to see you eating a healthy vegan diet. You may even sway some your way with your weight loss and glowing health.

I have many reasons for staying on the program, but have fallen off the wagon and am embarrassed to admit it. ..but maybe in telling it, someone can give me some help.
1)I don't keep all the food in the pantry that will lead to success, sometimes run out of beans, no soymilk so might use regular milk

2) i need to sit down and write up a menu plan to follow,a simple one with a grocery list

3)sometimes will think...."oh this little bit won't hurt", then feel awful afterwards.....but what is worse is the part I don't feel immediately....the arteries lining with cholesterol and cancerous effects of a toxic diet

4)people always make comments. they even call me "Tofu Mary"...laughing of course...but I get tired of it....I'm smiling on the outside....but inside I'm really weary of hearing it. I find out it takes a lot of bravery to follow this diet....maybe I can't do it?

5) my husband said the other day, "I've got to have some meat"...so sometimes I just give in and make him a roast...then will eat a little myself

those are a few of the reasons for my failure
Marybeth

1. Reading and questioning (after all that's what got me here).

2. Recommendations of local doctors/conventional medicine (I'm pretty good at bucking the system, but sometimes its hard when we're talking cancer diagnosis or taking high dose vitamin D when you're found to have a significant deficiency in the winter, etc)

#1. Inability to realize you have 5 or 10 years to get it right and thus become discouraged because you are human and didn't do it perfectly overnight.

Learn how to deal with that conflict and you'll never again have to worry about progressing.

Of course you can do it, MaryBeth! If I can do it (not perfectly, but I'm getting better all the time) by gosh ANYbody can.

Yes it takes some courage. Yes the comments get annoying. Yes you just have to say no sometimes. And yes, sometimes you'll slip and not say "no" and wish you did.

Look at your actions and see where you can avoid setting yourself up for failure. It sounds like the biggest one you're doing is preparing unhealthy foods, or keeping them around for "others." They don't "need" that stuff and neither do you.

For example, when your husband craves meat? Don't set yourself up for failure by cooking it at home (the smell, then it's there...). Encourage him to go out for a night with the boys, or a relative, and have a nice steak (no doggie bags).

Forget to stock up on soy milk? Then keep a couple of non-perishable breakfast items in the pantry that can be eaten without milk (oatmeal made with water & frozen berries, for example).

Don't even keep cow's milk in the house, if you can possibly get away with it. Or buy a case of single servings if that might help you stay out of it. (I got my whole family to switch by adding more & more almond milk to their cow's milk bottle without their knowledge until they were basically drinking almond milk straight. Then when they "tried" it they liked it. Made it easier to stop buying the cow's milk all together!).

And listen to Purdy's wisdom (you might even search out some of her other posts). Some people make the transition overnight, and others take months or years to make the habit. It IS easy to think you're eating healthy when you're not really (I've done that!) so this board is a great place to help you "stay honest". But at the same time, it's important not to beat yourself up over slips & trips.

Jeff's top ten are excellent as are many others that have been posted. Three, I might add (forgive me if I missed someone else's post) is:

1) Non-commitment. For many people this lifestyle is a commitment and a process. Understanding and education doesn't happen over night. But, commitment will get you there.

2) Not remembering your human. Mistakes happen. Reaffirm commitment and go forward.

3) Lifestyle changes of this type might aggravate current addictions. For example, if you love refined sugars but eat products with refined sugars to calm your stress levels and/or deal with things . . . perhaps you don't even realize you do this . . . bang! You can run smack dab into a new-for-you challenge and/or a challenge you've been up against before. Food addictions can also be overcome.

- Em

My top reasons (not in any particular order)

1) My husband is a couch potato cowboy and is meat and potatos all the way. He is overweight, has high blood pressure and high cholesterol, but would rather treat it with meds. He was on McD's for one summer and miracles happened to his health, but he says everything all tastes the same to him and he wants to enjoy his food. My mother is living with us and is in between stages 5 and 6 of Alzheimer's. She is also a country gal, is 83, and thinks you have to have meat in order to be healthy. No changing her at this point. I say all that to say no support at home makes life difficult when meal time comes. I end up making three different meals sometimes (my mom has had a recent hospital stay for diverticulitis), which leads to reason no. 2

2) I get tired of cooking so much and am apparently not a good cook (see reason 1 .

3) I live in a rural area in east Texas and some of the better whole grain and "unusual" foods are not available. I have to be prudent to plan shopping trips to town.

3) It's hard when we go out to eat, because finding a place that works for all of us is difficult, and I'm the one who usually loses out. It typically means a buffet, and I have to really be "on my game" not to be tempted, especially by the dessert section. Food prep by these places is rarely fat-free, even with the cooked veggies. I usually see some kind of mystery meat buried in there somewhere.

4) I have a mental disturbance of some kind. When I'm prudent about staying on the plan, I feel great, have more energy, better sense of well being, and certainly more positive mentally. But I get to the point where I just HAVE to have ice cream...or chips. Then, it spirals down from there. I think it's self sabotage. Why, oh why???!!! You'd think a "normal" person would LIKE feeling great!

5) When I'm gone all day, I never think to take some healthy snacks, and when I hit the door I grab the easiest thing I can find to snack on until I can get a meal cooked.

6) I am sometimes plagued with the "Oh, one hamburger won't kill me!" lie. Yes, it can. Because it's never just "one hamburger." There is always the "next" hamburger that won't kill me.

7) I feel like a freak and don't like telling people I'm a vegan. I feel like I'm a major inconvenience to friends and family when I visit. I end up telling them not to worry about it because I know they have no clue how to or desire to accommodate.

It's a whole lot of work, and I'm stricken with bouts of laziness. (What's with my "8" that it keeps turning into a face with glasses??)

9) Not being healthy is a whole lot easier and even promoted in our country.

10) I'm not creative enough to create a variety of meals that are eye-pleasing and appealing and it eventually gets boring.

I can feel your stress, especially when dealing with other people. I will be spending some time with family soon who profess "healthy eating" but are far from it. They know the information, but remain unconvinced or unmotivated. I don't how I will handle it, probably poorly. I just hope I can do better than last time. But look on the bright side, you have created an articulate list of challenges. To have issues so clear gives you goals to shoot for. Pick a piece of the puzzle and focus your energy and creativity on that one item. Then move on. No effort is wasted. For instance, I stayed at my sister's recently, who is receptive to this diet style. We tried several McDougall recipes that were terrific. With slight modifications we know that the whole family will enjoy them, even though our parents resist truly low fat eating. We think that by doing the preparation ourselves, and not advertising the truth, no one will notice. So remember, all things take time! Don't give up!

BTW: For your husband, if all things "taste the same" why not make them healthy?

Roberta,

One of the things that has always helped is remembering that, for me, "it is a process". When I started there were many things I "failed" at. I started looking at mistakes as opportunities to understand and refine my process.

This past summer has been a test of sorts. One a wedding and the other special occasion dinner - both events had only greens left untouched by a fine chef's sensibilities. Both were were long meals - the one a seven course dinner including rack of lamb and at the wedding I was expecting some food as the hostess graciously asked before hand. However the caterer's had no idea what they were doing and while the salad sans dressing was nice having to go ten hours or so with only a few leaves to eat (poor planning on my part no food in the car) . . . was a true test of both my sense of humor and commitment.

At any rate, seven years ago I would not have been able to do this. Today I can. More so, I can enjoy the moment and be more comfortable about the whole thing. This allows others to be more comfortable too.

The best part of the whole journey is what I've learned, how I feel and how much I enjoy the delish food I eat.

Find a way to key into what is important for you . . . one step at a time, remember life is an adventure . . . enjoy!

- Em

I have 5 children (all grown now) and when the were little,I too Roberta in my WW days would cook two sometimes three diffierent meals for dinner or lunch or as I call it short order cooking. Looking back I cooked to please them and my husband and then cook for myself and I think I did it out of guilt. Guilty cause their mom was overweight and I couldn't ask them to eat what I HAD to eat. Now I cook one meal if my husband or anybody doesn't want to eat, well thats their choice I don't worry about it anymore. From July of 08-Feb 09 my daughter and her six kids moved in to live with us and Uhhh Mimi (thats what the grandkids call me) only cooks one thing. If you don't like it eat a bowl of cereal. But you know the children ate everything I cooked except Makenly (who is 9) doesn't like sauce on her noodles she only likes butter but that is her choice(and her mom bought the butter not me). By the time they moved out they have adapted to the vegan lifestyle and they eat 90% vegan in their own home....Probably did them a real big favor not catering to their whims. And my husband will eat anything I cook But my one big reason would be I was self conscience and worried about being an inconvience to everyone else (being different) I still struggle with that sometimes....

I don't eat any animal products--but I choose NOT to call myself a vegan or vegetarian. Those terms are already too value-loaded and elicit too many automatic preconceptions. And we all know how far away from the McDougall plan vegan/vegetarian diets can actually be.

While I follow McDougall more closely than Fuhrman, I do like Fuhrman's term "nutritarian". "I'm a nutritarian." "What's that?" "I eat the most nutritious and healthy diet possible." "So what do you eat"? Then you explain, what and WHY. This allows you to go straight to the level of facts, logic and science, circumventing all the conventional wisdom, prejudices and preconceptions.