Morphine's Journal

[morphine]

So, last night was a disaster. The wife brought home pepperoni and salami....another weakness. It beat me. Bad. I kept going back, again and again. I finally gave up all hope, and had 3 sandwiches last night! FAILURE!

That failure continued into today. Lunch meeting. Cheesesteak. Potato chips. FAILURE!

But....I'm not giving up. I'm getting back up, and going to fight again. I'll fall again, but I will never stop getting back up and trying again.

A clip from one of my favorite movies:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSB9VJcwQsc

Never give up!

[morphine]

A bit of good news...I bought a home A1c kit today. I've been between 6.5 and 6.9% for a long time. I spiked up to 8.0% for a short time in 2012, but I've been below 7.0% since.

My wife has been worried about me, thinking all these rice and potatoes are going to make my diabetes worse! Well, the home test showed only 6.6%. Not bad. I expected it to be really bad, considering all the "evil" carbs I've been eating. haha.

This is just another tiny clue that it is working...slowly, because I'm not completely following it. I'd say overall, I'm at 60-70% compliance, including days like yesterday and today. But that's better than where I used to be!

[JohnLarson]

As long as you are coming back and learning, there is no failure.

Great news about your a1c.

[wildgoose]

Good news on the A1C, Morphine!

All much better than where you used to be. Have a few setbacks, but still come out ahead.

Goose

[morphine]

Just a quick update. I'm still here. I haven't had meat in 6 days. (Since last Friday). I'm eating some cheese, nuts, and small amounts of oil. I've had a few Reese's, but nowhere near my earlier amounts.

I am not losing weight. I'm actually 3 pounds above my recent low...326. I really wanted to be UNDER 320 by July 1st, but it's not looking good.

[morphine]

Well, I had a pretty good stretch there. I made it almost a week without ANY meat. Like I said, I had cheese. I had a few Reese's. I had bread. But still, less than usual of all the "bad stuff." Making progress.

The scales aren't moving, but I'm feeling good and gaining confidence.

Today I had a cheesesteak and fries for lunch, and a ham sandwich and some steak for dinner. Yeah, pretty big stumble, huh? But, I'm going to try again.

My 35th birthday is in 5 weeks. I'm starting tomorrow morning. (Tonight at midnight, technically, so I have another hour!). STRICT MCDOUGALL (not MWL) for 5 weeks. We all know I won't make it. But I can try, can't I? I've promised my children that I will try VERY hard to go 5 weeks. I know I'll fail. But I will try. I start tomorrow.

Five weeks. Thirty-five days. Tomorrow I begin again. I am tired of not being rewarded with some weight loss. Time to step it up a notch!

Thanks for reading, and, as always, I appreciate any encouragement, comments, and advise.

Morphine.

[wildgoose]

Congratulations on a meat-free week, Morphine! Yes, you had a not-so-good day there. But getting right back on-program is the way to go.

The thing I found was, the longer I went without (insert name of food that irresistibly calls -- for me, it was cheese and ice cream), the less I wanted it. When a craving popped up, it usually meant that I'd gotten into some added oil that "primed" me. But the cleaner I ate, the easier being compliant became. That's me. YMMV, of course.

Five weeks of McDougall plan eating is a great goal! Here's to a healthier, happier 35-year-old Morphine!

Goose

[janluvs2heel]

Well, I had a pretty good stretch there. I made it almost a week without ANY meat. Like I said, I had cheese. I had a few Reese's. I had bread. But still, less than usual of all the "bad stuff." Making progress.

The scales aren't moving, but I'm feeling good and gaining confidence.

Today I had a cheesesteak and fries for lunch, and a ham sandwich and some steak for dinner. Yeah, pretty big stumble, huh? But, I'm going to try again.

My 35th birthday is in 5 weeks. I'm starting tomorrow morning. (Tonight at midnight, technically, so I have another hour!). STRICT MCDOUGALL (not MWL) for 5 weeks. We all know I won't make it. But I can try, can't I? I've promised my children that I will try VERY hard to go 5 weeks. I know I'll fail. But I will try. I start tomorrow.

Five weeks. Thirty-five days. Tomorrow I begin again. I am tired of not being rewarded with some weight loss. Time to step it up a notch!

Thanks for reading, and, as always, I appreciate any encouragement, comments, and advise.

Morphine.

You know Morphine, I think that you have to stop trying & just do it. Don't say you are going to try for 1 day or 5 weeks, say you are going to do it for 1 day or 5 weeks. It is so negative when you say I am going to try but we all know I will fail. Of course you will, success is so much in the head & what you say. So try changing what is in your head & what words you are using. That saying, it does not mean that you will not stumble along the way, but you can just get up & keep moving forward. Five weeks is going to be here no matter what you do so celebrate your 35th birthday by loving yourself & stepping on the scale. That will be your birthday present to you & your family. A new attitude & a new lower weight & a longer life.

[Chile]

I stumbled across Jared Fogle's book at the library this past week, written half a dozen years ago after he'd maintained his over 200 pound weight loss for more than 5 years. He's the "Subway guy" that lost weight eating his meals there. I would recommend the book, not as a diet plan, but for what he shares about the mental and emotional journey. I found it far more interesting than I thought I would and gleaned some insights for my own use.

[morphine]

Bad news. As I mentioned, i did a home A1c test, and got a 6.6, which is about the same as in January. I just visited my doctor, and they did an "official" A1c...it came back 8.5. I am not sure why the numbers are different, but i assume the 8.5 is correct. Not good! I haven't lost any more weight...i keep going up and down.

The bad part is that my doctor is adamant that i start taking my metformin again. I really don't want to take it! I have read so much here against it. But, why am i unable to control my numbers.

What do i do?

[JohnLarson]

You take your metformin.

Maybe one day, you will find a successful way to change how you eat and you will not need medication to control your numbers, but until then, take the medication as prescribed by your doctor.

[Lesliec1]

Just my perspective on drugs. I loathe drugs. LOATHE. I agonize over which ones I should do of the many I am told I need. Is really hard and I DON'T have the same disease as you. But my feeling has come to be that I should take drugs until this WOE really cures me.

Although it upsets me A LOT to do drugs that harm me over time, it became much too stressful not to. I didn't go to med school and I just can't be my own doctor. Nothing's forever. Once this WOE works I will happily kick them to the curb. Until then I will try to be patient and try harder to be perfect at his WOE. It will work. Just a matter of when.

Just wanted to say its not failure to take drugs. Maybe taking drugs makes a person confirm that they don't want to stay on them.

[wildgoose]

I tend to agree with some of the other responses you've gotten. If you have to take drugs on a temporary basis, do it.

But if it were me, I'd also use those pill bottles as a powerful incentive to get my rear in gear and go all-in on a way of eating that can, in all likelihood, make the drugs history.

Goose

[JT of PA]

Morphine,

http://engine2diet.com/author/natalae2/

Maybe the above copy/paste link will be of interest to you in that the person battles a similar condition.

All the best with this being your special month.

[morphine]

July 1st, still 323. No change since June 1st. I had some really bad days in June. I'm just happy that I didn't gain anything. July....my birthday...let's really turn it on and try to get under 320 by August!