Discussion Board

I am just so discouraged. I have been here before. I have lost 100 pounds on the plan and I have nearly gained it all back again. Last year, I was doing really well again and lost 25+ pounds and tossed it out all over again during the holidays...now here I am again, heavier than I have been in ages. Why can't I conquer this????? I want to start again fresh. I need a miracle to stay on this again. I have decided to do it along with the principles of the 12 step program. Perhaps a little divine intervention will keep me strong this time.

Hey Eppy

Your here. That's what matters. I look forward to following your journey

Eppy, I am right where you are. Although my weight loss the first time wasn't with this program. You are not alone.

Lisa

Thank you for the support.

Today is a new day. No mistakes yet!

I have decided to rededicate and stop whining and feeling sorry for myself. I will stay 100% MWL today! I will smile and realize that I need
to start planning for a new wardrobe as the current one isn't going
to fit right for long!

Hi Eppy,
So glad to see that you are back. I was there when you were doing the Mary's mini. I kept losing some weight, then gaining it back because I thought I couldn't live without that junk. Back in July, I just decided I was going to be doing McDougall or I wasn't. None of this inbetween, it brings you down, makes you feel horrible. So on 7-10, I started 90 days. I have read here it takes 90 days for all the cravings to subside. I just decided to Cowboy up & do it & I just never looked back. Started being sure that I had food ready when I ran home for lunch, so there was no excuse to go to fast food. I paid no attention to the scale at first, I could feel the difference in my clothes. 5 wks. later, I am down 12 lbs. I feel great. I just lost my job on Thursday, after almost 12 years & I have been able to handle that without turning to food.
Read the book, Woman, Food & God. The most powerful message I got out of it is that I am a worthy person, whether I am fat, skinny, etc.

The past is the past, put it behind you.

Welcome back, we have missed you.

Jan

Hi Eppy
Welcome back. Jan is so right about the approach to making it work. That really is the key. You know where you dropped the ball last time and knowledge is power. Since this is a lifestyle, not a month long diet, when holidays and special events come into your life they should not be much different from your day to day eating. (I know what McDougall says on holidays but watch what he does in real life!) My Christmas and Thanksgiving are filled with slightly richer, but still on plan food. This has to be YOUR LIFESTYLE, not the way you sometimes eat. The fact you are here says you want to make the changes and reap the benefits of healthy eating. Jan has the right idea about making it Your way till all the cravings are history and your power over them are proven to yourself. It will work for you. Get rid of the junk, fill your home and life with those things that will nourish you, and plan, plan, plan!
Make the steps that lead to success, avoid the ones that will fill you with frustration and self-loathing. You can do this, any of us can. It is all in our hands. Take and build on your previous success and just add the elements to make it a permanent situation. We will all look forward to watching you progress. Success breeds success.
f1jim

Thank you all for your words of encouragement. I keep having to tell myself that I did this once before. I was on the program for 2 years with hardly a cheat. I was running for 5 miles a day. I can do this!

So far today, I have eaten:
1/4 a cantaloupe
a large bowl of steel cut oats with a banana cut
up in it, sprinkled with cinnamon,
A McDougall soup (Black Bean), a baked potato, a tomato
and for dinner I am having brown basmati (sp) rice with assorted
fresh veggies mixed in. I have had nothing else.

I am making a peach crisp made out of fresh peaches, apples
the juice of half a lemon squeezed in, rolled oats, cinnamon,
ginger, about 1/4 a cup of apple cider poured over it and about
2 TBSP on real maple syrup mixed in. My boys are going to eat most
of it and I plan to have a little bit. I know that is going to put me over the two fruits for the day, but it will keep me from doing much worse!

This has been a hard day. I can't tell you how many times I have wanted to cheat. I wish that I could get all of the non MWL food out of the house, but with 3 pre teen/ teen aged boys at home, who are pencil thin, that is not possible. Much of the food in my house is McDougall friendly, but I do have things like avocado, whole peanut
butter, nuts, whole grain bread, dried fruit and stuff like that around. My boys eat it. Of course, there is some chocolate and ice cream stashed away too. There would be a revolt if I tried to get rid of it. When I lost the 100 pounds the first time, I did it in Europe (land of perfect chocolate and cheese) and at any given time there were several varieties in the house. Still I avoided it. OH I hope that I can get that kind of resolve again! One day and a time. One, "NO" at a time. It helps to write this out and know that someone is reading it.

Oh...I forgot to add...
This week I have to go up to Maine...
My mom lives RIGHT on the coast! You know what
that means...Lobster! I would be just fine and be
able to avoid it with no problem, but my dear mother
is the type who is offended when you don't eat what she puts
in front of you. She is 81 now and will never change, so how
have those of you who have dear mothers like that handle it?
I have to go...but I know that I have to stay 100% MWL too.

When I lost all the weight before, there was an ocean between us.
That was very convenient.

Thanks.

Eppy, Lets start with Mom. I would tell her before I went that Dr. orders are I go on a plant based program and that means no lobster etc.
I have a very skinny DH and this summer I have been able to avoid ice cream (so far) by considering it as HIS and not mine.
You might also put all the boys goodies in one cabinet that you consider off limits for self.

Something will work just have to find the right thing.

Remember you are not alone in this struggle.

Veggielou

i am bad....if I was in Maine I would eat one lobster.....no butter. That is a cheat meal but then I don't eat turkey or anything else during the holidays. I just could not pass up a Maine Lobster.....no way! At least it is low fat without the butter and you don't need it anyway with fresh ones! Just my opinion....cut my fingers off, but I would do it if I ever got up there!

Lobster is one of those things I want maybe once a year and I've had one recently. Funny thing is that when I did McDougall before, I got to the point that the thought of eating one was repulsive to me. I hope to get there again!

On to day two. I did really well yesterday, except that I had two servings of my crisp. It was 100% MWL friendly though, so I don't feel too bad. More importantly, it kept me from doing worse. I can feeling the changes to my system starting to dump all of the garbage my body has been accumulating. I'm just praying that I don't get the headaches. When I lost the 100 pounds the first time, a few days into it, I got daily headaches that lasted for about 3 months. I'm sure that my body was detoxing, but they were sure no fun. I have started to have to take some Advil every morning for a bad knee as of late. Perhaps that will keep the headaches at bay and once my weight is down enough, so my knee is no longer an issue, I'll be past the headache time. I started to get one last evening, but it left when I had dinner.

For the record, I weighed myself this morning. I think I will only do so
once a month. I tend to become obsessive about it. I was 233! I am
5-5 and 3/4 inches. Not good for my frame. Last time I got down to 143 and looked and felt wonderful. I would like to end up just under 140 and have 140 as my "never let myself get over" point again. It took me about 18 months to do it last time.

I love to do outdoor activities. I still have the desire to hike the Appalachian Trail (or at least the Northeast section of it) and I kayak. I haven't been in my kayak all summer, because of my weight.
There is a water trail called the Northern Forest Canoe Trail that runs
from Old Forge, NY up to Northern Maine. I want to paddle that! My weight is preventing me from doing it. I would also love to run again. Another dream I have is hiking through Europe again. We did a lot of hiking over there when we lived there for 6 years. My husband is in the military and will retire in about two years and I would love to take a month with him and backpack all over there. I am 53 and am still young enough to do this stuff, but it will slip by if I don't drop this weight. One other thing I would love to do is become a member of the 46ers club! The Adirondack mountains (which aren't too far from me) have 46 high peaks and if you climb them all, you can become a member. This weight HAS to go!

Food for the day.
B-a bowl of steel cut oats with cinnimon. 1/4 a cantaloupe
L-large bowl of rice and a steamed artichoke
D-3 ears of corn, baked beans
Snacks-Fatfree hummus and cut up green pepper and a cucumber, a bunch of fresh blueberries and fat free blueberry crisp made with rolled oats

Hi Eppy

You are in the same boat as many of us. My first journey w/McDougall was back in 1995 and I don't know how much I lost. My main benefit was the amazing energy. I did it for nine months before caving. Lost all that energy! and gained back whatever I did lose.

Really, it is so important that your mind be "in the game"...this is a mental challenge, especially at the beginning. I pray you will find that inner steel, that puts your mind upon the goal and sets your face toward it, no matter WHAT.

meanwhile, for me anyway, this website and all the resources available have helped me so much...I'm in it for life, and the people here, the testimonies, the tales of struggle and triumph, the advice of experts, all combine to keep me in it.

You know you're going to feel great, when the detox subsides, Keep THAT in mind that energy, clear-headedness, focus, calm. Plus which, the weight WILL come off yah! fringe benefits of eating right: a body that is a HEALTHY weight.

keep on going I'm rooting for ya

Hi Eppy,
You are singing my song! I did the exact same thing last year. I thought I could take a break during the holidays and jump back on board after new years. I didn't want to have to deprive myself of everything and I really thought I had it under control - up to that point I had lost 38 lbs from july to nov....well fast forward to august and I gained 20 back and feel like a bloated slug.. I decided last thursday I needed to start mcdougalling. I have been detoxing and feel yucky but this will pass. Hang in there and keep in touch - hopefully we can come up with a plan to get through the holidays this year without throwing our good health out the window!!
take care

Hey Eppy,

Thanks for stopping by my journal. I was thinking the same thing when I read your journal. We are a lot alike. It's nice having the support here that I don't get in other areas of my life. When I talk about food obsession or not being able to stop eating something once I start people look at me like I'm a freak, or lying, or self-control impaired. I get SO tired of all the messages in this country about moderation. The diet industry is making astronomical amounts of money convincing compulsive overeaters to just have one cookie.

Someone told me once that there are bartenders who will give an alcoholic a free drink in exchange for a sobriety chip. They said it's like investing in the best stock on the market because it will pay out for a long long time. It's the same way with the moderation message and obesity. I don't know the numbers but based on the stuff I've experienced, read and seen I think many significantly over-weight individuals react to fat and sweets like alcoholics react to alcohol. Having one cookie (or whatever your food of choice is) just triggers the uncontrollable desire for more. Even before I ever thought about quitting drinking I never wanted just one. It was always easier for me to have none than to have one. If I didn't want to get drunk in front of colleagues or if I had to drive home I wouldn't drink at all. Then, of course, I'd go home early and get smashed in my living room.

Anywho, I know from quitting drinking and quitting smoking that the desire for these things goes away over time. It does not get worse. So, the whole moderation message that says eventually you go on a bender if you deny yourself fatty garbage is just a load of bull.

Not sure why I just wrote an entire journal entry on your page. My bad.

I'm glad you're here!!! I can't wait to go on this journey with you.

Kelly

Kelly,

Thank you for posting what you did. I have never been able to do, "just one." I am the child of a former alcoholic. To his credit, my father kicked it and was sober for the last 35 years of his life, but he lost everything first. I know that I am of the same personality make up. Luckily for me, I was always afraid of alcohol and drugs and have never touched them, so food was my outlet. I believe that treating it will be the same, just as if I were treating an alcohol or drug addition. When I lost the weight the first time, I thought my gallbladder was getting ready to blow, so I put nothing in my mouth that would aggravate that. I didn't want to end up in a Belgian hospital (my husband is a doctor and I had been in plenty of them over there...NOT a place I would want anything done on me). It was enough to scare me into submission. Once I had lost the weigh and the problems of my gallbladder stopped, I got lazy. I eliminated the symptoms, but never cured the problem. This time I am out to cure the problem. When I think of life without Swiss chocolate, I get really depressed, but when I think of my husband, children and grandchildren without
me around, I get even more depressed. This time I HAVE to make this stick!