Discussion Board

Thanks It is very true that we can only help ourselves. I'm getting better at just focusing on me.

Thank you

Hey Deb,

You look amazing!! Keep on keepin on

Thank you so much. I FEEL amazing.

I watched my husband eat a sandwich last night that contained 37 grams of fat. That was just the sandwich. It didn't include the big pile of french fries, the soda or the side of macaroni and cheese he added.



Is it wrong to want to take out a life insurance policy?

Of course, I am joking, but it makes me a little bit crazy. I read an article recently about a woman that had a heart attack while eating a burger named 'The Heart Attack Burger.' Of course, the article wanted to make it known that a burger would not have an effect on the heart that quickly, so is wasn't the burger that caused it. Maybe, but it was likely the 10 burgers she had before that...

I am really working on minding my own business when it comes to my health, but it is SO hard sometimes. I have a family member that has decided to start teaching nutrition and give cooking lessons. Her main ingredient in everything is coconut oil - because it is "so healthy." Her "healthy" vegetable stir-fry had 1/3 cup of oil in the wok for frying veggies. It was so hard to keep my mouth shut. Everybody looks up to her because she calls her food healthy and it tastes good. They look at me as extreme and disregard my style of eating.

It is a challenge some days to keep moving forward. I really do understand why it is so hard for people to move away from what is considered "normal." I have to be honest and say that, while I love the feelings of being healthy and healing my body, I don't always enjoy being so different. I suppose with time it won't matter anymore, but it still bothers me sometimes.

When being normal includes a long list of chronic diseases which we get to grow old with, then it isn't such a bad thing to be different!

-Norm

Agreed Norm!


Well, today I decided that I wanted to do a post with some before and after pics. I did a blog post, so if you want to see them, just click on my blog in my signature. Easier than hosting them somewhere and posting them here.

I thought I would have a hard time looking back. I really do avoid looking at myself most of the time. I was shocked at the changes. Especially the pic of me sitting on the rock feeding my son where I could not even close my legs. Wow... what a journey this has been. It feels good to see the progress.

Sadly, much of my weight was lost on fad diets until I found McDougall. Since I have been really buckling down, I have had incredible results in my health, as already mentioned and a weight loss of about 45 pounds. I am ready to get this last 100 pounds off. Honestly I wasn't as focused on my weight up to this point as I was all of the other disease in my body. Now that most of that is out of the way I can really challenge myself to get down to a healthier weight.

Debbie, glad to catch up on your journal! You look great And I am glad to hear your health keeps on improving


That sandwich plus macaroni would have been hard for me to handle while keeping my mouth shut.



I agree with Norm, definitely. Better to be healthy and unusual, than very unhealthy and a part of the pack.

Yet, it is still can be a challenge to be different, even when different is without argument a preferable choice!

I have grown accustomed to being the "different" person, in regard to food choice, and while I feel it far less than I used to, I realized how much I still feel it after two friends came to stay with us for a week. They ate pretty much like I do (came to it independently, so we did not know about each others' dietary shifts) and it was such a load off to not be fielding questions or avoiding speaking up!

That is why I love it here - you know everyone understands.

I am excited to witness you reaching your goals, Debbie!

The smile on your face in this picture says it all!



-Norm

It does feel good to smile. I find, the healthier I get and the better I feel, the more I smile and it is a much more genuine smile than past pictures! It is amazing to feel good!

Well, it was time for a bit of reflection last night after I ate a pint of Blue Bunny Frozen Yogurt. I committed to staying on track last November by completely giving up meat, diary and oil. I had already given up gluten. Giving up gluten was easy when I was still eating cheese. My reasoning in November, for doing the regular McDougall plan was that my family would not be able to comply with anything else. It was months and months of struggle with them as my past journals explore, but we finally got into a flow. It was working.

I have gained incredible health benefits that I cannot deny and already shared. I am pleased that I have stayed under 300 pounds for over six months now. However, I am hovering... between 285 and 295. I appreciate that I can maintain my weight and I am sure if I continued the way I was the past 8 months, I would definitely lose weight just by adding exercise.

The dilemma... my family has reached a place where they are really pushing the lines. Mostly my husband. The lines started getting blurry for me two weeks ago. I see it in myself, so I am not blaming them. I got overconfident with how I was feeling... looking at my before and after pics... and blogging my "success." They have continued to push for junk foods from the beginning, but I always found a way to resist and keep the junk out of the house. Lately, I am not trying so hard to resist. I am not sure I can even explain why beyond just feeling the over confidence and feeling like I had a bit of "breathing room." (maybe)

That shows me that the mentality that "this is the plan until I get better" is still present. I hadn't thought much about it, but some poor choices this past two weeks have made it abundantly clear to me. I feel like I have accomplished much, but when I look at my weight I get angry. I could have accomplished much more. Then I start looking for answers. Obviously they are pretty easy. I need to refocus. I have added the element of exercise. I have lost 40 pounds in the past two years. Actually, the truth of that is...I have probably lost 100 pounds or more... gaining and losing the same stupid 30 pounds over and over. But... the numbers are clear. When I went into the hospital two years ago, I was 335 and today I am 295.

I need to get back on track. MWL was on my mind this morning. I am going to attempt that as close as I can, but I still have to cook for my family and they will eat the regular plan. I will modify the best I can without having to cook two meals, but it is likely that some of my dinners will be on the regular plan. (simple stuff like rice pasta)

My husband is pushing me again... trying to get me off plan... woo-ing me with foods and temptations. I don't know why he does it. I have become so much stronger and have resisted for months, but lately my resistance has been shaken. Still my choice, but dammit... it is tough when I am not getting the support from him. I want to have the willpower to just eat what I need to eat and ignore him. It isn't easy sometimes.

It is almost like he does it by the "power of suggestion." He just keeps saying things over and over until I give in. In the span of two days he mentioned going out to eat over 10 times. I resisted. I ignore. I distracted him. Then finally, I just said... "oh, what the hell." That is where it breaks down for me. I can't blame him for mentioning cheese 15 times in the course of a weekend. It is almost like a joke to him. I can only blame myself for letting my guard down. It is that same attitude he had last year... so I finally give in and there is cheese cut up on the table... I could say no. Instead, I reach for a couple pieces and then he teases me... "see, I knew you couldn't leave it alone." *sigh*

He isn't a bad guy, he just has addictions to food that he is unwilling to let go of. He has food hidden in places. There are gummy worms in the console of the car, chips in the trunk and I am sure a bunch of stuff he keeps at work. He is at 225 pounds and feels like he is perfectly healthy (with at least 40 more pounds to lose, asthma, arthritis, and liver damage that he refuses to accept) I see that his future could be difficult. He drinks so much soda... over 100 ounces a day. He lives in a brain fog and is tired most of the time, but blames it on work. When he was on board with me... wow... things were so different. He was off soda for a month at the beginning of this year and he was eating with me... totally on plan. He said he felt like he was 19 again... huge energy, less asthma attacks. He was so happy with it, but he missed eating and drinking what he wanted and decided it wasn't worth it. I want it to go back to him wanting to be healthy, but he is eating SAD again.

I feel like I am at a cross roads. I know I won't give up, but I don't want to settle for just being this size the rest of my life and relatively healthy. This weight will still put a strain on my kidneys that are slowly healing. I need to take things to the next level at a time when my husband is ready for me to abandon ship and just go back to the way I was. I think, for him, he sees it just like I feel it at times... "you are better... why are you trying so hard now." I am better, but good grief... I had so many issues that I know it would only take a short time of giving in to bring them all crashing back. I know that.

I have healed SO much disease in my body it is hard for me to remember how bad I really felt. That part is incredible. But, now I am ready to fight through this next challenge. There is no junk in my house... it is the eating out that is horrible and the spontaneous shopping for something (like last night dessert). I am going to fight to get my body moving and keep the healthy meals consistent. I am going to fight to keep myself completely on track. I was there for months, there is no reason I can't push through this glitch. It just kind of feels like starting over with my husband, when we had come so far. It is frustrating and takes more energy than I wish I had to give to it. I should be putting all of my energy into just getting healthy.

I just thought it would be good to share in my journal. It is really amazing to look back and see how far I have come, but it will be even more amazing to look back months from now and see some serious weight loss.

One step at a time - literally. When I started wearing a pedometer last winter, I was lucky to make 3,000 steps a day. Yesterday, a did over 18,000 and I'm going to make my one year goal of 1,000 miles by the 4th of July. You just have to start slow and work your way up a few hundred extra steps a day. Don't push it, but don't baby yourself either. And write down your daily totals. You can get a exercise bar like mine at tickerfactory.com. You are stronger and tougher than you think! You go girl.
Kate

Thank your for the encouragement Kate. I have been able to do 3500 steps the past two days... it hurts, but I know I need to push on. I like the ticker. That would be a good way to motivate. I would rather keep track of steps/miles right now than over-think pounds. I want to lose the weight naturally because my lifestyle is on target and becoming a habit, not because I am pushing for some magic number. I do believe that exercise is a huge key to that right now.

I know it can be a struggle. I live in a household where it took my spouse over a year or more of going back and forth between being on or off plan. I just had to decide myself what I wanted and stick with it no matter how hard it was. In the end, we only can control ourselves. It's not easy. There are days I still struggle with it. He had vegan chips in the house last night, I ate 2 chips (yes really only 2) and decided it wasn't worth it and didn't have anymore. In the past, I would have sat and had the other half of the bag of chips he did not finish. It's been a big progression. For the most part, when he brings in chips now it doesn't bother me but I do have my days where I'm a little more sensitive. Keep on keepin on

Thank you sksamboots. I have the hope that my husband will get to a point where he wants the healthy feeling more than the food. I just keep trying. I feel like I have at least accomplished keeping my house free of junk food and that is huge compared to where we were last year, so I have to feel good about that. The rest will come in time... I have confidence. There are days that it just gets discouraging, but it is my own lack of will-power that makes it so. I feel this exercise piece being my lifeline...

I have so much time in my day that I could be exercising. I really want it to become a hobby. I know that would absolutely change my life.