Discussion Board

Dis,

Yes throw them away! Do not let them stay a minute longer, or perhaps you can bury them in the freezer til the time you can throw them away on Sunday...
I have heard of The Strip in Pittsburgh, and it has the best kind of SAD food, that money can buy. Good luck finding any kind of McD friendly food there at all. Sorry to be negative, but I really have heard of it and some friends just act as though they have died and went to heaven eating that kind of stuff. sigh
I think you are so nice to your wife, and wonder why she gets that kind of nice treatment. I like that she will make your spaghetti sauce separately. I was just at one of those board meetings for a genealogical society and the only thing I could eat was off the veggie tray, and a nice fresh fruit salad. I wanted to try the homemade veggie ( beef ) soup so badly, I had a few spoonfuls of only the veggies and it was just too greasy tasting for me now. The taste was just ruined for me. blah! I guess I have really crossed that street and turned that corner! wow! The shimmering spots of grease should have told me it was a big no-no!!
But oh, the cookies! I did not touch then at this mtg, and I think that it is a wise decision on my part! one will never be enough, so I have to leave them alone. It is the same here, if I made them, or bought any cookies, no one else would ever touch them, except me, and so I don't have them in the house any more at all.
Raining here all day.
Know what you mean about the gym workouts. I Love them too, my knees feel so good afterwards too. If you wife cannot get her rear in gear, she will just never figure it out. I wonder why she never wants to support you, and hopes to get you to stay off the McD path instead? I mean what exactly is wrong with her? ( you do not have to answer that)
I think you are so right, you might have been dead in 5 yrs and the quality of life would have been down, down down, and for as long as you do life, we all want to live an independent life full of a ton of good things we like to do!

So, you think your wife is not a food addict, just based on the quantity she eats? Maybe the question for food addicts is more like can they give up the food that is bad for them?

From WebMD:


Clearly what you are writing about is your personal changes/challenges with respect to food and your family's, friend's and coworker's response to these changes. As this journal is mostly about food, we may have a stilted view of your wife's relationship to food. as we don't have a clear idea what her other preoccupations might be. Still, it seems from the journal that other than food and cooking she has no other compelling interests and some of the above might actually apply to her. Food addiction though if the above-quote is accurate - is not ALL bingeing and lack of self control.

I agree, I always think I'll just have one of something and 9 times out of 10 it leads to something really bad happening.
You showed some excellent self control there.

"But oh, the cookies! I did not touch then at this mtg, and I think that it is a wise decision on my part! one will never be enough, so I have to leave them alone. It is the same here, if I made them, or bought any cookies, no one else would ever touch them, except me, and so I don't have them in the house any more at all.

http://www.neighborsinthestrip.com/thes ... strip.html
"In the 1950s there were 71 wholesale produce dealers in the Strip District. By the 1970s there were about two dozen dealers left in the produce terminal. Remaining dealers began to expand their businesses by opening retail stores on Penn Avenue and Smallman Street. Today the Strip District is best known for its retail produce and ethnic food stores, restaurants and coffee shops."

::perk:: Produce and ethnic food stores? You might score there, D.
http://pittsburghpublicmarket.org/for-c ... -schedule/

carollynne We had a fight Tuesday night and she wound up throwing the cookies away.

The wife is slightly more supportive than it seems from what I report on. She will nudge me to the gym if I decide to skip a day for no good reason. She will sometimes be creative and make something like that pasta salad, or the chili or the veggie pizza for me to eat.

Then there are times, where I honestly think she is trying to be supportive, for example she found jelly beans that I could have and bought them. Well, I don't want jelly beans. So at first glance this may look like diet sabotage, and it could be. What I think it is though, is her feeling that my way of eating is devoid of any form of joy and happiness. She honestly believes this. Sometimes she really is just trying to make me happy.

lmggallagher I guess because she seems to be so adamant about her food aversions, I don't think of food addiction. One of her favorite things is to watch the cooking competition shows on food network. The one restaurant we go to that cooks like that, has a 50/50 chance of making her mad if their food is too complicated. She is very emotional about food. I guess that could mean she is a food addict.

purplerain It's weird what triggers me. I could see cold cuts and cheese and not even have a inkling of desire, but cookies? Damn you cookies.

AlwaysAgnes Thanks for the links. Since we're bringing a cooler anyways, for stuff we might buy, I might pack a little bit of food just in case.

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My friend was telling me that his mother caught a skunk in a trap, and left if there to die, and now because in trying to escape the poor creature managed to fill the trap cage with dirt and his mom can't lift it. She's a Mennonite. I realize that you don't want a skunk on your property. I know I'm a new vegan, but I have to think that my past self still would have thought this woman's actions as horrible, cruel and mean. I'd also like to think that if there is a God, that he has special places to put people who can be so cruel. Seriously, if this had been a dog or a cat, police would be involved and people on facebook would be posting about it for weeks.

Mother's day is this coming Sunday. The wife is having a hard time because this will be her first Mother's day since her Mom died. She had suggested we go to a restaurant, we'll call DD. We've only been there once, maybe 4 - 6 years ago. It was expensive, boring, the service was bad, and it took 25 minutes to get our bill corrected. It's also, mostly a seafood restaurant. The wife hates most seafood, but will occasionally eat lobster.

When I got home on Tuesday, she asked if DD was where we wanted to go for M-Day. Earlier in the day I had looked up a place we will call PF. PF is a restaurant located on an organic farm, everything is local and fresh and the menu changes daily depending on what is available. So I suggested PF. She blew up!

Her rant was fairly crazy, but near as I can figure, she thinks organic is just an extension of veganism. Therefore organic is liberal hippie BS, and going to a restaurant like that is like drinking the kool-aid and following the masses into veganism. I know right, it's hard not to laugh when she says this stuff. The masses are vegan? Really!? I told her she was the one drinking the kool-aid set out by the meat and dairy industry. She is currently refusing to go anywhere on M-day.

The conversation just got stupider from there. It restarted again when she came to bed. The biggest change to come out of it is, I will no longer refer to milk or any dairy product as poison cow juice. Apparently this is taken as me pressuring her and accusing her of trying to kill the children. I also had to apologize for calling her Thanksgiving day stuffing, assbread.

Last night she was complaining about not feeling well. She went to bed very early. A little while later she asked me to bring her diabetes kit. Her meter will not read above a blood sugar level of 500. Her bs was over 500. She did not have any insulin, she refused to go to the hospital, she refused to take any of my left-over metformin (I left it on her bed side table and later found out she had taken some). I monitored her for signs of her condition becoming more acute. I made sure she had lots of water. She asked me to make her some dinner, she wanted chicken noodle soup and watermelon.

Here's the somewhat funny part. It seems like it's been years since we've had a good watermelon. I bought her a small one a couple of weeks ago, and we both tasted it and threw it away. Sunday night when we stopped by the organic grocery store, we bought one of theirs. It was the best watermelon either of us has had in years. So I guess in her world organic restaurant = liberal hippie trash and organic watermelon = awesome.

Her blood sugar was down below 400 this morning. I'll be picking up some insulin today. She has her first doctors appointment in a few weeks, maybe something will come from that. I've tried to tell her, how to fix it, even just how to make it better, she won't listen. Says she would rather die. I've tried to explain she would see improvement, just by cutting back on fats. She refuses to eat corn or potatoes or carrots without tons of butter, she refuses to eat green beans without butter and bacon. Not that she eats vegetables that often anyways. She points to her Mother who recently died at 84 from colon cancer (who hated vegetables) as an example of health.

Lol at "assbread."

I'm so sorry to hear about your wife's blood sugar and her refusal to take care of herself. I also have type 2 diabetes, and I would be terrified if my blood sugar went that high. You can bet I'd be on my way to the hospital.

I get the "everyone has to die of something" mentality, but diabetes produces a horrible lingering death. Doesn't she worry about losing her toes, or kidney failure? A nice quick fatal heart attack would be one thing, but the other possibilities totally freak me out and keep me eating my veggies.

I agree with Toadfood - "assbread" =

Poison cow juice= , too, but then I can also see how calling it that could be taken as pressure. And her saying that she feels like you are accusing her of poisoning the children seems like a window into her volatile reactions around food change - maybe she feels really guilty and feels really bad about feeling guilty? Just a thought, but if she is the "cook" for the family, that could be the case.


Sorry to hear about her stubbornness around her incredibly high blood sugar levels. I also agree with toadfood here - diabetes is a terrible way to die, and it is very sad she is not taking better care of herself.

Watch out for the cookie monster!

I had to chuckle at the assbread, never heard that one before, but is sure is accurate, I always made it separately, tho!!
Hope the wifey is better now! So scarey about that high a number, she is headed for big medical issues and I know you will be right there to help her, with any of them. So scarey, I am really shuddering at the thought of some of them ( amputations, and liver and kidneys )
MY Dh loves to offer me a bite of his steak, and I am sure he thinkshe is being supportive too, but it does not temp me at all. but oh, the cookies or sweets always call my name out loud.
Hope the fight is over, hey did you ever think that although she is fighting with you, and appears angry with you, she is actually mad at herself at her condition that she cannot control, and knows that she did it to herself!
oh well, have a good night to all!

When I read your most recent comments about your wife's health and her stubborn refusal to see that reversing it could be within her control, my first thought was that it must be heartbreaking for you to watch her slowly (quickly?) killing herself with her food choices.

In terms of dealing with her sabotaging efforts, it reminds me of Doug Lisle's talks about the Pleasure Trap and ways to deal with this. It almost sounds as if she is frightened that you are going to leave her because you have already abandoned a familiar way of eating and that would have been unthinkable at one time. That could be partly why she gets so emotional when you refuse to come back to the dark side of SAD.

When I read your posts, sometimes this song run through my head - "God is great, beer is good and people are crazy..."

toadfood She seems to have some kidney pain fairly often. She'll drink cranberry juice, and it will seem to get better. I can understand her not wanting to go back on insulin, it caused her weight to shoot up 50 or 60 pounds over the course of a year. I get frustrated though with her refusal of any of the "regular" diabetes drugs.

Her claim is she feels bad when her blood sugar gets under 200, so therefore maybe her blood sugar is supposed to be 300. My point to her is while people are different, and some people could have different normal body temperatures, like 99ºF instead of 98.6ºF, nobody has a normal body temperature of 200ºF.

She'll get so thirsty sometimes that, she'll drink an entire bottle of water, in the store, before we get to check out. (we always pay for it of course) I've tried to explain to her, that the thirst is caused because her kidneys are being destroyed by the sugar and are trying to flush themselves out. (Honestly not sure how accurate that is)

I just hope she has a good experience with this new doctor in a couple of weeks.

nicoles I started the "poison cow juice" comments after she called me "goat" for two weeks. I have my doubts as to how offended she actually was. I think it might have just been a case of needing argument fodder.

The real reason for the Tuesday night fight was, imo, for 14 years, we have most often picked restaurants based on her tastes. I pretty much would eat anything, so it didn't matter to me. Now, it matters to me, I know the places it is easy for me to eat, and I know the places where it is more difficult. So now that I am expressing more of an opinion as to eating destinations, she sees this as being selfish.

carollynne I know one of her Aunts lost limbs due to diabetes, and eventually died from diabetes complications. She gets confused because she will not eat, for most of the day, or not eat carbs for a while (up to 24 hours) and her blood sugar will not come down, and will sometimes even rise. Before finding McDougall, this confused me too. Now I try to explain to her it's the fat. Even if she were to fast, her body is still burning fuel. Even fat gets converted to blood sugar, because that is what a body really runs on.

I of course have also explained that it is dietary fat that is blocking the insulin from getting the glucose into the cells where it is needed for energy. I have personally demonstrated this to her. Her response is, I never really had diabetes to begin with. I guess my blood sugar being over 300 for months and months before starting this way of eating isn't diabetic.

Chile It can be heartbreaking. Because I've discovered the secret. The secret to good health, and a full life. And the one person I care about most, not only won't listen to me, but ridicules me for believing it. Even after I have demonstrated it's benefits.

My wife is very insecure, always has been. The most frustrating part is, it's just food. So what? I trick her into eating vegetables for a week and it does nothing for her, what's the damage? She ate vegetables?! I tell people all the time, you should try it for a week. There response is mostly, "a week isn't enough time to feel any differences", yes it is!

VegSexy Haha, I know, right. And yet, everyone thinks I'm the crazy one.
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Goodness....Kinda went off on a tangent.

It's been a fun week, in spite of the wife difficulties. Had 3 encounters this week with people I haven't seen in many months. The one guy, had this amazed look on his face and it took me several seconds to realize what he was amazed about. One of our vendors didn't say anything to me, but called my wife to ask her about me. She told the wife, "I didn't want to say anything to him, but he looks really good!". Of course that probably just enforced the delusion my wife has of women flinging themselves at me.

The scale is moving steadily. Need to just maintain course. I haven't had a lot of luck getting out of the 220's.

Happy Friday all!

Better get a move on!! I plan to be out of the 220's by January!! You don't want me to beat ya to it!! Just keep on keeping on... you know the secret, just stick with it and you'll get there!

-Norm

Me too!



Ah, I get it now. Context is everything!





Yes, very heartbreaking! I definitely feel it, and I am just a reader of your journal!




That is RAD! AWESOME! and every other overused superlative!!

So much fun when that happens! I bumped into someone I hadn't seen for about a year on the street the other week, and at first he did not reconize me! Once he regained his bearings, he was unabashedly stunned at how much weight I'd lost and how good I looked. Kept saying it was "Life-changing" and shaking his head in amazement.

Guess I now know what he thought of my appearance BEFORE I lost the weight

Hi D,

I want to tell you I admire your strength and patience. I think you're right that your wife is insecure. She is afraid, and that fear makes her more stubborn and causes her to lash out. Fear is fuel. But so is love. We all have old programs, things we were told or learned to believe about ourselves when we were children, triggers that will put us right back into our childhood beliefs about ourselves, and old coping mechanisms and patterns of behavior that are default positions we fall back into when those childhood beliefs about ourselves are triggered. She'll keep getting stuck until she figures out how to change her mind. The initial causes (beliefs) are bigger than food, but they're generally invisible--or wrapped up in tons of crap. I can see that you are strong. I hope you keep being patient. And try not to lose your sense of humor! Laugh whenever you can. It's good for the soul and the body.

It's impossible for a zebra to change its stripes until it realizes it's actually a cougar. Just don't put your hand in either one's mouth, 'cause it might bite off your fingers! (Sorry. That was my over-protective mothermode speaking.)

Have a great day!

Dis, Hope your house is quiet and restful for the weekend.
I wish your wife a very happy Mother's Day! I know you will make it a memorable one for her!
My husband surprised me with an edible arrangement and even told the gal no for teh choc dip, and that was becuz my wife is a vegetarian, he told me. I was very happy! Let us know what the boys did for her too!