It's been a while since I've updated my journal here. I've been posting regular weight loss updates on my blog, Three Hundred Pounds Of Joy
for anyone who wishes to follow there.
It is not official weigh-in day. That is every other Sunday and this is the off Sunday. To catch you all up to speed my weight loss has been tapering off over the past two months and I knew a plateau was imminent. I had a couple off-week weigh-in's that showed no weight loss and only after adding more exercise did I manage to show a loss by the next weigh-in. Then, two weeks ago, my last off-week Sunday, I stepped on the scale to see a 2 pound increase.
I refused to let the 280's be where my weight loss stopped, and I had no desire to plateau, as I made a commitment to myself that I would show consistent weight loss at every weigh-in period this entire year. I've made it this far and wanted to finish out the year sticking to that commitment.
The problem isn't hard to finger. It's my volume eating. I eat insane amounts of food and it is an absolute testament to this way of eating that a person can lose 200 pounds while eating that volume of food! Thank you Dr. McDougall! But I knew eventually I'd reach my set point for that volume of food and it appears I was at it or very close to it. So when I stepped off the scale two weeks ago I realized it was time to confront my volume eating head on.
The first week was painful. Reminiscent of past starvation diets I've been on. But I knew the pain would lessen over time. I knew my stomach would shrink over time. I knew the food I was eating was what my body needed and wanted. So I took a step of faith believing that if I suffered through the pain long enough my body would adapt and I would learn how to eat like a normal person. Or at least more like a normal person. The results:
After one week I'd lost the 2 pounds I'd gained plus 3 more for a total of 5 pounds in one week and letting my "official" weigh-in period reflect a loss of 3 pounds over the last weigh-in. In the week since then I've lost an additional 10 pounds bringing my current weight to 269 (I won't update my ticker till my official weigh-in next Sunday). Observation One:
10 pounds in one week and 15 pounds in two weeks is too much weight loss too fast. It far exceeds my goals or desires. I have to slow this down. I'm hesitant to add in more food because the whole purpose of what I'm doing is to let my stomach shrink and learn how to eat less food. So this week I'm going to start adding in more calorie dense foods. Today, Pizza! Observation Two:
I have no clue what hunger is. Truth is, in my entire life of 47 years I have NEVER known what hunger is. I literally have to learn from scratch. I cannot trust my senses and I certainly can't trust my feelings. Observation Three:
Week two was easier than week one. It was less painful. I expect week three will be easier still. I honestly thought I added in a bit more food this past week than the first week, but at twice the weight loss I'm not sure. Maybe my stomach has shrunk more and it only feels like I've eaten more food. One friend suggested I keep track of all my food intake, weight and calories, so that I'll know. I can see the logic of that but I refuse to do it at this time. The point being that my body has to learn what is enough food and my mind has to learn to be satisfied with that and I believe that in time that is exactly what will happen. Observation Four:
I am glad I did not reduce my food intake sooner. I've maintained good weight loss for a long period of time and reducing my food intake sooner would have resulted in much too much weight loss too quickly. Further, and probably more important, I've had over a year to adapt to this way of eating and to prepare mentally for this day of having to confront my volume eating. I've had so much success up to this point which boosted my confidence to the level that for the first time in my life I actually believe I can conquer my compulsion for volume eating. It would have been too big of a step any earlier than now, as well as an unnecessary step. Observation Five:
I do not in any way consider what I'm doing to be portion control. I do not believe that most people need to count calories or limit portions. Neither does Dr. McDougall. But I am not a normal person. I have a mental disorder causing me to compulsively overeat and I am in the process of overcoming that obsession! I'm not counting calories. I'm not denying myself food. I am, temporarily, reducing my food intake to allow my body and mind to learn what it should already know. We should learn early in life what to eat, when to eat, and how much to eat and it should be a natural part of living and we shouldn't even have to think about it. I've spent the last year or so learning WHAT to eat. Now I'm learning WHEN and HOW MUCH.
Comments and suggestions are welcome.