Discussion Board

Hello Friends! Thanks to everyone that stops by to browse my journal as I figure things out with the rest of you. As I look back over the month of October I want to review my challenges and count my accomplishments.

In the past, October began the slow crawl up the scales that did not stop until the New Year’s resolutions started to form in my brain. Even with the best of intentions, often times the weight gained through the holiday season was not easily shed and the next October would start the weight ascent at a heavier mark than the year past.

This year, I asked myself why that had to be the case. I am a strong, even stubborn, woman. I do not let anything deter my progress when I set my mind to something. I am not afraid of hard work to meet a milestone. I am a goal-driven detailed-oriented perfectionist in so many areas of my life. Why does this body and health issue continue to trump my best efforts??

Determined to not repeat an annual tradition of weight gain through the holidays, I thought about the actions I carry out traditionally each year. Beginning in October, in preparation for the huge crowd of Halloween revelers ringing my doorbell and to help share out the cost over the month, I would buy a couple bags of the best chocolate candy bars each week.

A huge metal tub slowly filled with irresistible treats as each week passed. Eventually, a bag would find a small tear in the corner and once that filmy barrier was breached, it was game on. Snickers and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Milky Ways and Butterfingers found their way to my mouth daily. But, I reasoned, they were “Fun Size”. How bad could a couple of itty-bitty chocolate bars be? (And seriously, as my son says, “What is fun about a candy bar that disappears in one bite? If they want to make it fun size, how about they make it as big as a loaf of bread??”)

I did things differently this year. I waited until the last shopping trip before Halloween. I bought the cheapest candy I could find. It was filled with stuff like Dots and Tootsie Rolls, all the stuff that I used to toss out of my candy bag as a kid. The ingredients were just awful too. I cannot believe that the food industry still uses hydrogenated fats!

I fell back to the quote of the month ever since reading FrozenVeg’s Star McDougaller story. “This is not food”! It would be like eating a candle or a cardboard box. Although my carpooler succinctly told me that if her candles tasted like Junior Mints, she may be tempted to nibble on them.

On the day after Halloween, I bagged up all the leftover candy and sent it to work with my husband. It was in my house less than 48 hours and gone. Problem solved!

Speaking of shopping for groceries, I am renewing my efforts of reading labels of any packaged foods I opt to buy. It is amazing how things change so quickly. Products that I purchased forever that met the McDougall guidelines now show added oil and other unnecessary additives. It takes me longer to finish the grocery shopping, but when I go through the check-out, I feel good about what is in my cart.

On this last trip, the checker commented on how many natural foods were in my cart. To be honest, I don’t like to chit-chat with the checkers about my food choices. It feels like scripted small talk. But, for some reason, on this day I felt very talkative.

Checker: “You really buy a lot of organic and natural foods and fresh vegetables. That is good. “

Me: “Yes, I try to eat as close to the whole food as possible.”

Checker: “Oh yes, Whole Foods is kind of far away.”

Me: “Oh no, not Whole Foods the store. I have shopped there but they are very expensive and I can buy everything I need here. It is easy. When I say whole foods, I mean as close to the natural state of the food as possible. No packages. And if there is a package….”

I picked up my bag of frozen peas.

Me: “… look … just one ingredient. Peas. Simple! Healthy. Life-sustaining.”

Checker: “…”

Yeah, that’s what I thought. I didn’t think she was as interested in my food choices as she originally seemed. Her script lacked the dialogue to respond to my conversation. But, it is all good. Another seed is planted. It takes a lot of pine cones to grow a forest.

Even my own forest needs tending from time to time. Because even though I buy the healthiest foods for myself and more or less enforce that on my husband, who willingly eats everything I cook with a smile and a compliment, (smart man!), I found I was being less ingenious with my son.

I found that items I would not even consider buying for myself were jumping into my cart with his needs in mind. Things like frozen bean and cheese burritos or toaster waffles. The grocery store I shop at gives away a free item each week for $20 spent. This week’s item was a dozen eggs. Free is free right? I thought that would supplement my son’s food budget.

When he moved out on his own, he only allocated $20 a month for food. That works if all you eat is Top Ramen. So, he is home most nights for my McDougall dinners and a bowl of leftovers for his lunch the next day. I can still provide him nourishing food that keeps him healthy and warms my heart. So, why, I ask, was I willing to put the crap in my basket for him that goes exactly against everything I strive for and believe in!? Why do I want to buy food that poisons his health if I would not ingest it myself!? When I ask him, he doesn’t even want the stuff I bring home.

I made a conscious choice when I was at the grocery store on this last trip that I was going to stop buying foods for my son that I would not consider eating myself. No more! It felt like it was another ratchet tightening on my health resolve. I felt something lock into place. I felt a little more connected with the fact that I am never turning back. Ever!

Those moments are so liberating and powerful! It is the moment when you know you are eating this way because you crave it! It is the moment that you can walk past the pastries and chips and they don’t scream your name anymore. In fact, they don’t even get a second glance. It is the moment you step on the scale and see the numbers you want to see, go out for your daily walk because your body is eager for the movement. It is the feeling that everything is falling into place and it feels right, not forced!

I love McDougall’s quote cited in another journal this week and from Mike Teehan’s success story, “You know what you need to do.”

And, you will know when you are doing it.

Excellent and timely post.
f1jim

Beautiful post, as always. Right on the money.

So right. So true. Thanks.

Hey Jim, nomikins, Anna and blondie! Thanks for dropping by my journal and leaving your comments.

***

It’s Thanksgiving again and it is time for my annual whacky conversation with my dear sweet mother-in-law who I love with all my heart!

I love this time of year. I love the crisp weather. I love the shortened holiday work weeks. Thanksgiving! What a perfect dinner to feast with family and friends! Potatoes and vegetables, salads and breads, cranberries and pumpkins. All of these foods can be prepared and enjoyed in their natural wholesome state and eaten with guilt-free pleasure.

However, when the meal is prepared and served outside of your kitchen and control, all bets are off.

Potatoes are smashed with butter and cream.
Vegetables are swimming in an oily bath dodging bacon.
Salads are sagging with creamy dressings or forgotten all together.
Stuffing becomes a conglomerate of refined white flour, fat and meat.

I know that my husband and son plan to use this day to feast on all the holiday pleasures they enjoy. For me, this day will be on plan because it will be so easy to make it so!

But, that’s not what I came here to talk about. I came here to talk about my whacky conversation with my dear sweet mother-in-law who I love with all my heart!

::ring ring::

Me. “Hello”

MIL: “Hello honey. I wanted to catch you before you went grocery shopping to find out what you were bringing for Thanksgiving so I can plan around that.”

Me: “Well, I am bringing the cranberries for sure.”

Ever since I discovered how easy it is to prepare raw cranberries and how much more satisfying it is to eat them fresh than out of the can, this has been one of my contributions. There were many years that my fresh cranberries were set on the table alongside the slab of molded jellied cranberries pushed out of the can. No problem. Change takes the time it takes. Now, the fresh cranberries are sought after and expected!

MIL: “Good. Good.”

Me: “I am also bringing a couple of side dishes that will work for me, can supplement the meal but in no way do I want them to replace the traditional dishes.

I am going to bring a green bean dish with pecans and shallots. But please, still serve up your green bean mushroom soup casserole. Everyone loves that!

I am also going to bring a roasted baby red potato dish. But, please, don’t let that replace your traditional mashed potatoes!”

I find the potatoes and green beans are the best part of the meal, but I do not want to take part in the traditional preparation on the holiday table. I can eat on plan my favorite foods, bring wholesome alternatives of real (not scary) food to the table, and walk away full!

MIL (seeming a little disappointed, was I reading into that?): “Oh, well, okay.”

Maybe she was hoping that what I brought would ease some of her cooking burden?

Maybe she wanted me to bring the sacrificial salad? The sacrificial salad is the salad that I put together with all the greens and crunchies I can load into it that gets eaten by me and maybe two other people. It then gets brought home after the dinner and the majority of it ends up on my compost. One year, I was tempted to cut up the veggies and distribute it evenly over the compost directly without ever taking it to the family dinner. I don’t offer to make the sacrificial salad anymore.

MIL: “I am going to make a big green salad this year. I have a lot of stuff in the refrigerator that could be used up. We always seem to forget the salad. So, I am going to put it out as a salad bar before the main dinner and let everyone make their own. I know you like the salad.”

Me: “Thank you! I love the salad. I will definitely eat up your salad if you put it out there.”

MIL: “I am making a pecan pie for my son. Will he eat that?”

Me: “Yes. He considers this his feast day.”

MIL: “I wasn’t sure because it has eggs.”

Me: “He loves your pecan pie. He’ll eat it.”

I take the phone from my ear and ask my husband if he’ll eat his mother’s pecan pie. He nods yes.

Me: “He says he’ll eat it.”

MIL: “Good. Will you eat it?”

Me: “No. I am going to pass on pies.”

MIL: “I am also going to make a couple of pumpkin pies. Will you eat those?”

Me: “No. But it all sounds good! Your pies are great.”

MIL: “There will be a chocolate cream pie too. You could have that.”

Me (laughing now): “No… I can’t have chocolate cream pie.”

MIL: “Why? It has pudding. Is pudding bad?”

Me: “It’s the dairy. There’s milk and other ingredients I choose not to eat.”

MIL: “Oh, well when I make chocolate cream pie I use low-fat milk.”

Me (still laughing, can’t help it): “I think your pumpkin pies would be healthier options, if I were to choose a pie.”

MIL: “Oh!! Then you will eat pumpkin pie??”

Me (nearly rolling on the floor, trying to hold back my vocal mirth): “No no.. the eggs. I’m going to pass on pies this time around.”

MIL: “Okay. Then, I’ll see you on Thursday.”

Me: “Yes, Thursday, I’m looking forward to it.”

We hang up the phone. I love my mother-in-law. She’s the best!

May everyone have an enjoyable wholesome and healthy holiday feast.

The sacrificial salad -- ha ha ha!!! I love it! That's usually my contribution to family dinners to -- every family dinner. I take that and some beans in a tupperware container so that I know I won't starve no matter what is served. I make a salad large enough to serve everyone who comes and bring it home with hardly a dent made in it.

hahahaha! I remember your description of these convos with your mil. She sounds like quite a hoot.

May your Thanksgiving be blessed and happy!

Thanks for sharing your conversation with MIL, Nancy, that was a good read! She really does try to "get it", doesn't she? At least her heart is in the right place.

Hi wife2abadge, Heidi and Becky! Thanks for stopping by and visiting.

***

The rituals of the holiday season have me running for my planner to schedule each task into its proper spot. It is difficult to sink into the true holiday spirit when a 40-hour work week sucks most of my time and the material aspect of rote gift-giving destroys any chance of a meaningful exchange.

I try each year to purchase gifts that are meaningful to me in some way. I want to share my passions and hobbies with the people that mean the most to me. The best gifts are those that can be lovingly assembled from scratch and presented with pride.

Last year, I grew cayenne peppers. I harvested them as they turned red and set them on a framed screen at a tilt in front of my west window. I turned them daily and added to them frequently. When they were delicately crispy and naturally sun-dried after several weeks, I donned a face mask and whirred them in my VitaMix until they became delicate flakes of pepper. The potent potpourri moved from mixer to many festively decorated jars and added to the Christmas baskets of my loved ones.

Along with the pepper flakes, our Christmas basket contained some horseradish prepared from our garden-grown root. We found a crank-driven meat grinder at a flea market. After sterilizing it, it serves a new purpose grinding the coarse stringy root into a white fleshy pulp. To this we added white vinegar and sugar. This only gets better as it marinates. It is so delicious on potatoes, whole grain crackers, stirred into chili or any other ways one can think.

To round out our Christmas basket, we added a bottle of our home made wine. This process begins almost a year and a half prior to the presentation of the gift. It begins in the late summer when we harvest our Zinfandel and Cabernet Sauvignon grapes form our 16-plant hobby vineyard.

We hand select each grape being careful to avoid those grapes that are too green or those that have shriveled to raisins. The perfect grapes are crushed and allowed to ferment on their skins for a couple of weeks before the wine is pressed and racked into carboys. The wine is re-racked several times over the course of the year before it finally gets transferred to bottles, corked and labeled. We are amateur winemakers but each year our skills grow and the delicious wine reflects this.

This year, as I ponder the Christmas gift exchange, I keep returning to an idea that will not go away. What is my passion? What do I want to share with the people I love the most? What is a gift that would express my message with explicit clarity?

My passion is my pursuit of health. I want to broadcast what I know to the world! I want to share the logic and the truth to those I love. I want to plant the seed, open their eyes. I want to witness the spark of light that flips on when they finally “get it”!! How better to communicate this message than presenting a copy of the movie “Forks Over Knives” to all my family members?

I have no delusions on the manner in which this gift will be accepted. In fact, my son sort of balked at the idea. He expressed the inner feelings I am bandying about. It is preachy. No one wants to hear bad things about their eating habits. No one will watch it. If they begin watching it, they will set it aside. They will be resentful of my pushiness and presumption.

I have delayed the purchase of these movies. I have talked to my husband. He says “do it”!

I pull up the web page. I look at the cost. I do not add the movies to my shopping cart yet. I walk away to ponder it some more.

My father-in-law asked my husband and I to take a look at a DVD titled Unveiling Mysteries of the Bible. He swears it will answer all our questions. We will watch the DVD because we know it is important to him and because it is his intense interest to share these messages with us.

My brother-in-law, a scientist and a doctor, presented me with the book, The God Delusion. I read the book with an open mind. It was important to him to share with me something that he invests in. We do not see eye-to-eye on many things, but I am always open to new ideas and I love to learn. In every bold assertion, there is some nugget of insight that can be gleaned.

His dietary approaches are 180 degrees opposite from mine. He recommends that his patients read The Paleo Diet. He believes as strongly about his dietary beliefs as I do about mine. I am not offended. I do not judge him. I listen with an open mind and try to understand how two vastly different dietary styles can both promise great health.

My sister is a Martha Stewart channeler. My gift from her last year was a subscription to Mary Jane’s Farm. This is a woman’s version of Mother Earth News. To honor the gift and experience my sister’s interests, I read every magazine from start to finish. I learned how I could become a chicken farmer, how to build ranch fences and how to up-cycle phonebooks and coffee cans into dresses and barns. This defines her personality, her unique nature.

Each family member wants to share their passion with the world. Everyone gets a barbecue fork thermometer from the family grilling king, and homemade t-shirts from the crafts queen. The motorcycle racer buys riding gear for the nephew he’s hoping to mentor. We give and receive gifts that define who we are.

The sincerest gift I can give is the one that means the most to me personally. Otherwise, I am robotically going to the mall, picking up the first trinket and slapping it into a box with a bow to just be done with it. I don’t feel good about myself when I do that. It feels shallow and without merit.

I return to the web site and mentally add up the cost of the DVDs. I rub my nose because it itches and I think on it some more.

Collectively, my family members have Parkinson’s disease, multiple heart attacks, high cholesterol, bypass surgery, cancer, pre-diabetes, arthritis, digestive disorders, blood pressure issues, kidney stones, gall bladder dysfunction, depression, anxiety.

...thinking…thinking… chewing a little on my fingers…

What better gift could I share? It is my passion; my pursuit above all other things. If this gift cannot plant the seed in one of their brains, if it cannot get someone to think about changing their life, taking charge of their health, then at the very least, it can share with them what makes me tick. They can maybe understand a little bit more about my focus in life and the reasons I choose the path I do.

I return to the website. I add the DVDs to my cart. I proceed to checkout.

Should I do this!? Should I?

I click the button to submit my order.

I should.

I feel you are doing the right thing. You are following your passion. If nothing more you are planting the seed. Who knows when someone put the DVD up on a shelf,but a month later decide to watch it and gets that haha moment.

Hi veggielou,

You make a really good point. Initially, I thought at best I would be contributing to the Forks Over Knives cause by buying several of the DVDs, even if they never get viewed. But, I like the thought of having these in circulation. One day, one person, may "get it". It may not be my intended first audience, but the more DVDs out there, the more chance of someone watching it.

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

Yeah!! I love your narrative; you should write books too!
Your family is lucky to have your special point of view, but of course I'm biased.

This week the McDougall community lost one of our own. It is with resounding shock and sorrow that we pay our remembrances to Nancy Goodman. Her absence on these boards will leave a hole that will not easily be filled as we look back on how she touched each of our lives.

As I deal with my own sadness at her passing, I have found comfort reading everyone’s shared thoughts in the memorial set up for her in The Lounge. I revisited her photos on her Flickr website. I reread her past journal that spanned the last year of her life. Who knew, least of all Nancy, that at the time of her posting, that she had less than a year to live? Who here knows of their own fate one year forward from today?

At Christmas, I purchased 7 copies of the movie, Forks Over Knives. With loving compassion, I presented them to 3 of my sisters, my parent-in-laws, 2 brother-in-laws and a sister-in-law. I did not expect feedback. I did not even expect the cellophane wrap to crack on the majority of the DVDs.

Within the two weeks of Christmas, I got a text from my younger sister, “Eeeeeiii!! I am in The Pleasure Trap!” We talked briefly on the phone shortly after she finished the movie and she said she felt very overwhelmed with all the information that was presented. I shared my appreciation that she even watched it!

From the rest of the family, ::crickets:: …

But all is good. I did not expect an overwhelming response.

So, I was completely and totally astonished while visiting my in-laws last night when my 82 year old father-in-law commented to my husband and I, “We watched the movie you gave us for Christmas. I guess we’re going to have to become vegetarian now.”

My mother-in-law, always one to put up resistance, quipped, “I wish we would have seen it before we purchased a freezer full of beef!”

At which point, my father-in-law told us the origin of the name “sirloin” came when the King declared the loin cut the finest slice of the cow, thusly knighting it Sir Loin.

I was pleased as could be that they watched the movie and I planned no further promotion or conversation. But, he continued to bring it up for discussion.

He stated, “So, it would have been easier to ignore the messages except that they used real people with real illnesses who become well following a healthier diet.”

My husband added, “Yes! And the doctors in this film are no idiots. They have credentials from some very prestigious schools. It is hard to discount the knowledge they bring to the table.”

I interjected, “… and they are spry and healthy. Dr. Campbell still runs a couple miles for exercise!”

My father-in-law laughed and said, “I could never run, even in my best condition.”

Then he asked, “So, when you eat meat, does your body feel sick?”

I answered, “Yes. After eliminating dairy and animal products from my diet, I feel very sick if I eat them now. My body rebels.”

He thought a moment then stated, “I could easily give up meat. I don’t crave it and I don’t think I’d miss it.”

All the while we are having this conversation, I can sense my mother-in-law's sidelong glances and silent growls aimed at me. She prepares the food. She would need to be on board for this transition too. A life time of eating the standard American diet and buying into the beef industry and dairy councils promotions of what is healthy for us is a hard pattern to shatter. Especially, if only one participant is on board.

However, my father-in-law was diagnosed with an aggressive form of prostate cancer. He just finished a round of radiation in mid-January. He has motivation to change his life. He wants to live to see 83. Forks Over Knives gives compelling evidence that you can alter your health destination, if only you are open to change.

I was so encouraged by his interest but very aware of the challenges it brings to the forefront for my mother-in-law.

I said, “It does not have to be an overnight transformation. Incremental changes will yield positive results. Take small steps. I have been working this philosophy for 25 years and I still am fine-tuning the technique.”

My husband echoed my mantra, “You cannot unknow what you now know.”

I am turning 52 years old on Tuesday. For Christmas, my husband and I invested in a pair of mountain bikes with 27 speeds, hydraulic brakes, big knobby wheels and a desire to explore the California bike trails in order of intensity, starting in our own back yard.

Each week we ride a six to nine mile circuit to bike trails and parks surrounding our home. On one particular loop, there is a very very steep hill that I am attempting to scale by pedal power. I am talking the savage Dr. Seuss style path that practically goes upside down before you reach the top!

Each week, my husband powers up that hill and waits for me at the summit. I get my speed up, but not too soon, for I do not want to wind myself before the real work starts. I shift down, down, down, which makes the pedaling easier but my legs are moving faster. I risk burning out my energy stores before I need them. As I near the steepest part of the hill, I fear the bike is going to pull up into a wheelie and tip over backwards. I lean forward to counter the weight. I finally stand up but that throws my balance. Each time, I have to set my foot down and walk my bike up the hill to the bantering jibes of my husband at the top yelling, “C’mon weenie!”

Seriously, did he call me a weenie?

So, as I face another birthday, I reflect on where I am and where I want to be. What if this were my last year of life? What do I want to accomplish? Where do I want to go? Where do I want to be at this time next year?

I will tell you my answer. I want to conquer my challenges. I want to get to the top of the hill.

Where do you want to be in a year?

Hi Nancy,

I have just finished reading your journal from start to finish, and I can't even count the number of times I had to stop and think, "Yes! That's exactly it! She gets it!" Time after time you beautifully expressed thoughts or experiences I was previously unable to clearly articulate. In October you wrote how falling off the wagon would make you merely human and justify the weaknesses of others (in their eyes), that you were both champion and nemesis. That one journal entry really helped me to understand the tension, sometimes subtle, sometimes overt, that invariably exists every time I eat with other people.

Thank you for sharing your journey here. You are helping this new McDougaller more than you know!

Robin