Discussion Board

Oh Toadfood, you sound exactly like me. It's so scary. It's a feeling, for me, of complete helplessness. I once went to a monastery with some close friends for a retreat. The weekend was planned to be filled with quiet and self-reflection and freedom from the usual pressures so I could focus on me. The monastery gift shop sold chocolate covered caramels made by nuns at a sister convent (not up on the proper lingo). I bought a box and ate the entire thing in my room. By the end of the weekend I was eating meatloaf!!! Once that door gets flipped open it's an out-of-control frenzy that takes weeks to recover from. This is how it always goes and so often it's started by me buying something I think will be a treat for a guest or someone gives me something. I still don't know how to navigate that.

Of course the person who doesn't have a problem eats a tiny bit leaving the rest for you! We have to get to a place where we put our health ahead of anyone else's feelings. Our friends can't get on board with what we're doing if we don't set boundaries or explain what we need or can't have. Right now I'm trying to get people to do nothing. I tell them I'll bring my own food. But, so far, that isn't going great. We are socialized to give something to our guests. You can't just make something for yourself and let your guests fend for themselves! So, people are really uncomfortable making food for a dinner party knowing at least one person won't be able to eat it. The problem is I am afraid they'll make a mistake (e.g., include oil) and I will feel like I have to eat it since they wouldn't have made it but for my dietary needs. When guests are here I want to give them things I think non-McDers will feel satisfied with. Then, the stuff is left in my house. Sigh.

It's the obsession in my head over certain foods that wears me down. I'm so tired of food being such a primary focus. I just want to be able to travel, visit friends, invite friends over, or whatever without it being a miserable, fear-filled, obsession-driven pain, or derailing any progress I've made and setting me back weeks or months.

Let us all know if you figure it out. Good luck. You're not alone.

Thank you so much for your post, kkrichar. It helps a lot to know others are going through the same thing.

It's amazing how one little bite of the wrong thing will send me right into the abyss, and how hard it is to get back out. I'm feeling pretty good about being able to limit it to four days this time. Posting today really helped me stay true to what I want for myself. I was tempted to eat off plan several times today, and knowing I would have to write it down stopped me.

Ah yes, I understand so well. The well wishers who will drag you down, with the one bite and so on! I can at times, look at something and just say, no way, that is the worst slobbery bunch of poison I have even seen!! But it is hard and tell yourself that you are getting right back on the McD road to health... that is what I have to do too. I messed up a bit eating fish and candy this weekend, at my sister's house on a away trip and so..... but now I can see my feet swelling up a bit, and and no way I am back on the McD path!
Good for you, you can do this, you are important to all of us here!

Thanks for the encouragement, Carollynne. Good for you getting right back to McD!

Right now I am eating my lunch (black beans, brown rice, and salsa) and trying to stay away from the huge box of my favorite chocolate that is sitting on top of my office's microwave. A coworker is fundraising for her child's school, and this week is even worse than last week because this week's candy is my absolute favorite from before I was vegan. I'm here to tell everyone in McDougalland that I will not be buying any of this candy!

today's food:
Breakfast: overnight cereal
Snack: 1 sugar free mint (2 calories)
Lunch: black beans, brown rice, salsa
Snack: 1 sugar free mint (2 calories)
Dinner: Indian SNAP (spinach, cauliflower, chick peas, tomatoes, tikka paste) with brown rice, almond milk
Snack: 1 lollipop (100 calories)

Today's exercise: walked outside for about 40 minutes.

Today's exercise: weights day at the gym
Today's food:
breakfast: overnight cereal made with barley
lunch:
dinner:

Well, I thought I was back on track, but then of course I wasn't. I've been binging on VAD for the past week. The only good thing I have to report about the past seven days is that I have faithfully gone to the gym every single day. I set today, April 1, as my deadline for getting back on track with McDougall, and so here I am. I had a McD breakfast today -- overnight cereal -- and at 10:45 I'm already hungry, so I think I am going to go ahead and eat the lunch I packed. If I'm hungry again at lunch time, I will go home (only 3 blocks away, luckily) and make myself some more food. I cooked a big pot of brown rice, and I have plenty of canned beans and frozen veggies at home, so it would be easy to whip up another compliant meal.

Breakfast: overnight cereal with oats
Early Lunch: brown rice, black beans, salsa
Later Lunch: brown rice, cannellini beans, tomato sauce
Sugar treat: 1 lollipop (100 calories)
Dinner: Indian SNAP, brown rice

Your experience makes me think of the saying "You can't work off a bad diet." I'm convinced that while exercise is a great thing and important to our well being, very few people are able to exercise away their poor diet choices. I never could.
So it's getting to the heart of what is responsible for kicking us off track. It's useless to trash ourselves for lack of willpower or some character flaw. So what do you think is at the heart of losing it from time to time? It has to be universal since it happens to so many. Your insight would be most valuable.
f1jim

Yesterday was a good day.

Today:

Exercise: 60 minutes on the elliptical trainer, heart at lower end of target zone
Brunch: Indian SNAP, brown rice
Dinner: converted rice, peas, sesame salt
Snack: baked potatoes

Today's exercise: 30 minutes on the elliptical trainer, heart at lower end of target zone. I'm also planning to take a long walk to the supermarket.

Brunch: Indian SNAP, converted rice
Snack: two sugar free mints (about 5 calories)
Dinner: converted rice, peas, sesame salt, Cajun vegetable soup
Dessert: lollipop (about 50 calories)
Snack: part of an orange, baked potato

Not a lot to report, just checking in to say I have been on plan every day, exercising daily, and losing weight. My weight is now lower than it was before my most recent slip up, so yay. Did some cooking over the weekend, tried 3 new recipes, at least one of which will be a keeper.

Hey, how are you doing?

Hey, nomikins, thanks for asking! I've had a bad few months, lots of binging on VAD. I realized that my eating disorder was really keeping me from staying on plan, so I started going to OA meetings. It has helped a lot. I'm now eating 3 meals a day, mostly MWL with some higher-fat plant foods like tofu. I'm staying away from foods like bread and pasta that can trigger a binge. I'm not doing any snacking or having seconds -- I know it is fine to snack on plan, but for healing my eating disorder this feels like the right thing to do. It feels good, and this week I've been lurking on the board, so thank you for giving me a reason to start posting again!

Today's food:

Breakfast: black beans, brown rice, salsa
Lunch: green beans, baked tofu, brown rice, nori-sesame seasoning
Dinner (planned): black beans, brown rice, salsa, fresh tomatoes

It's really hot here, so I will be swimming some laps before dinner.

Glad you're back, and your menu looks great. Keep the path!

Thanks, nomikins!

Here's a yummy salad I made today, inspired by Mary's Costa Rican Vegetable salad, but using what I had in the house -- it's too hot to go to the store!

3-4 cups cooked black beans (didn't measure, just used what was in the fridge)
1 lb frozen corn, thawed
2 big zucchini, chopped and blanched for about 2 minutes
2 bell peppers, chopped (I used one green and one orange)
1 pint cherry tomatoes, quartered
3/4 of a big vidalia onion, chopped

Dressing:

6 tablespoons lime juice
4 tablespoons rice vinegar
2 teaspoons sodium reduced soy sauce
Freshly ground black pepper

Yum. This would be better with some fresh cilantro or other fresh herb, but it was all about not having to leave the house this afternoon. It's so hot even swimming in the pool is no fun. So the bad news is, I'm not getting any exercise, but at least I'm eating well.

Hi. Good to see you. I haven't been keeping up with my journal here but I like to visit sometimes. Your food looks good. I hear you about the heat. Today it rained and cooled things down so I went for a run very slowly so as not to slip and fall. I couldn't miss the opportunity even though it was wet to run in lower temps.

Have a good one.