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Can't sleep! Grandson is still here visiting and tomorrow we go on an overnight trip, so I should really be sleeping. I need to nuke some potatoes when I get up and pack them and my usual veggies for the trip. I have had way too much bread--it's all congealed in my stomach, it feels like--besides bites of brownies, both off-and on-plan. I feel icky.

I am enjoying having the grandson here, but I really hate eating in restaurants! No herbal tea, no salad not tossed in oil, the roasted veggies were roasted in oil, the balsamic reduction has oil in it!

I'm also tired of trying to make tasty food for DH! To me, "tasty" translates to "no loss"! And I really know I need to lose another 10 pounds! I can feel it and see it. I have all of a sudden more cravings (when I am around it) and more temptation than I have had in a year and a half. I am annoyed. I want to go back to having my "glop"!!! I want, in other words, my simple, plain, delicious food, and if other people don't want it, they can get their own stuff!

I am ranting, I know. I just need to get back to plain for me, and reserve a portion of my brain for thinking of stuff for them without caving to having it myself. I ate one of the wraps AT HOME when I could have had my whole food, more as a rebellion to the attitude that they weren't great, to prove to myself that they were good. Then I ate 2 more on the road. Then I ate the insides of 6 or 7 deep-fried mushrooms, because they had nothing else at the restaurant, and I felt weird just sitting there. I hate feeling like this. Yug. Ick. Crud.

Going back to bed to see if I can re-start my sleep.

Restaurants are evil.

You've lost 90 pounds! Wow!
edited to add: I just saw the post you made in my journal. Thank you for the welcome back!

I had a period of restaurant exposure recently too. This always triggers cravings for me, I had to get back on track afterward and it was NOT easy.

I am also up in the middle of the night, well morning now. Almost time to get up anyway. I rarely have trouble sleeping so this is strange for me! Nice to have company, though!

Hi, Mrs. D! What are you doing up this late? Or is it early--isn't it 3:40 am where you are??

And it's almost 90 pounds, but not yet--I haven't seen the scale in a few days, and with all this nibbling, I'm kinda scared to see what I might really be now...

So glad you're back! And yes, restaurants are definitely evil...

4:47AM

Oh, well--have a great day! I'm going to go back to bed now and try to sleep until 4:47! !

Yes, well, I slept until 6:07 and wanted to sleep even longer--it took me over an hour to get to sleep after I went back to bed. Grrrr.

The reason is mostly that darn leg pain. The same pain that drove me to vow to lose weight one last time has returned in the past few weeks. It hurts mostly when I sit on a hard surface, and it feels like pinched nerve. But lately it has been hurting in the car and most esepcially when I'm in bed. I can't sleep pn my left side at all, and I'm a migrating sleeper, switching frfrom back to right to left all night long.

I did the "seated hip opener" yoga yesterday morning and the pain held off a lot longer. Yesterday we took our grandson to Matanuska Glacier, which is a medium-long walk to get to, or at least so I remembered from my old days. The path keeps changing over the years, of course, with weather and the glacier, and we took the wrong path at first and had to re-trace out steps. But we were determined to to get GS out there, because he's 12 and this was something he really seemed to like--and those of you who know or remember, 12-year-olds are hard to impress!! Anyway, my point was that my hip/leg/knee pain didn't even come up, even on the drive home, and I was so glad, and I think the yoga helped. But at bedtime, I went right to sleep, but when DD came home from the airport from taking her boyfriend on his flight back home, I woke up and the leg pain started playing with me. I was fine sitting up (but it hurts me now, sitting up), but when I went back to bed at 1 am it bothered me just enough to keep me awake. I finally took Ibuprofen and went right to sleep.

I've been up for a while, putting my food together for the trip to Homer. I really should get dressed and do yoga this morning or I will regret it, but I don't know if I have the time. Let's see if I can go do it right now.

Debbie, thanks for stopping by. The leg pain has robbed me of two nights' sleep now, and I can't figure it out why it's come back! As best I can locate it, it is the right hip flexor muscle, and it feels so much like a pinched nerve. It's not something I'd ask a doctor about, because what really can they do about pain? SO I carry on, trying to do the yoga things (warrior pose helped a lot in the early days) that might help. It isn't so bad during the day unless I sit on a wooden chair. I will say that it feels 90 pounds better than it did in 2010!

Also, if you ever make it to Alaska, let me know! Some cruises actually come to Anchorage, which is where I work every day. Some only go to the Southeast, where I have never been. Where is your SIL going?

Today I am starting a plan to find if I am at my ideal weight, or if my body has just found its new low on the way to my ideal weight. i can't imagine that this is it; it just doesn't feel lean enough for me. However, my body is not used to this. I was trying to think how many years (or months) i would have had to have a picture of me, as an adult over 18, in a not-overweight (140 or less) state. That seems to amount to my freshman year of college (Sept '67 to February '68), and getting to goal at Weight Watchers at some point in 1975, through March or so of 1977. Otherwise, I have been over 160 the rest of my adult life. Over 165 is obese. I have been obese my entire adult life. Wow. I have never given that any thought before, and it boggles my mind.

OK, so. I am sticking to MWL this week, no more bits of bread...I miss my glop, I miss my plain veggies with plain rice or potatoes. My company is gone, and I am no longer going to any restaurants, so here I go! I am going to get my lunch now, and I have good thoughts about today.

Exercise: Crunch Super Slim Down on Netflix (cut it to 30 m. to get journalling in)
Food so far: oats & cherries
slow-cooked potatoes, raw cabbage, celery, carrots, tomatoes
creamy bean soup
leftover oatmeal & raisins for snack

Hey Frozenveg-

Sounds like you are on the right track, with the Yoga. It is strange that it would come back after all the weight you have lost. In 2002, I was finally diagnosed with a necrotic hip joint. I was in so much pain, it was like a blazin' hot dagger was poking me, but the funny thing was it was in my inner thigh, not around my hip joint. Never had so much pain in my life, but I had it replaced. Interesting thing, even though the pain I had is gone, when I don't McDougall, it bothers me so much more. When I am on plan, as I am now, I am always aware of it but no tenderness or soreness. The thing about the hip area I found out, it isn't always the area that you think it is that is bad. If you keep having so much pain, you should have it looked into.
Sorry you are having so much pain & I hope that it resolves itself soon.

Maybe you are at a point where your calorie expenditure is keeping up with the calorie input. Can you exercise a bit more? Maybe shake things up a bit - take more stairs, walk more, etc. That can really kick start the weight loss again. And, as you are likely well aware, you are so close to your goal, the losing is going to be really slow.

Good luck, and keep eating the glop; it's the best!

Jan, thanks for that insight. If it ever becomes really bad I will start the process with the doctors, but it's so weird the way that it's come and gone, like so many other pains I've had over the years which I have taken to doctors and they just say, let's try this, or let's see your posture, and it eventually goes away before the follow-up visit. It is a small pain, it doesn't impede my walking (so far--it did before I lost this weight), it's pretty minor during the day, and even at night it doesn't make me cry or anything--it just says, "hey, this is a pain," so I can't sleep. (Last night, I took a Tylenol PM and slept through the night! Blessed relief and Joy! Rest! I felt like me again.)

And Nomikins, I think you are probably right on the exercise. I already take the stairs and park farther from the shop doors, etc. to add steps to my daily like. However, I am not a person who will ever have exercise as a "hobby" of my life, unless I do it deliberately. I'm an accountant so I'm at a desk all day; I love reading, I'm a movie buff, I occasionally crochet--none of the things that bring joy to my life on a daily, minute-to-minute basis are action-oriented. That's why I am wondering about my ideal weight, and what it would be for me, as the slightly active person that I am, at the activity level that I know I can sustain every day. Don't get me wrong, I'm exercising every day, which is an incredible first for me since I was 17 years old and a pedestrian in a world that had sidewalks! I am being so faithful to doing exercise every day, I can hardly recognize myself! But I will never run a marathon or join an aerobics class. It's just not me.

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I think you can do this. Stick 100% to MWL--no more bread and see where it takes you. You may be able to do it with the same amount of exercise, which is great!!

Thanks, Kirk--I am in awe of your progress, and I respect your input! And Sksamboots, I am happy for your support!

I am kicking butt and naming names this morning--did 30 minutes of Wii Fit for the first time in a long time (Kirk, I notice in your journal your were Jonesing for one, but I would be careful with your feet for a while yet--I have to be very careful on that step--unless you stick with the free step and free run, which don't require the step as part of the exercise).

Breakfast is the usual oatmeal & cherries (it never gets old!), and lunch will be potatoes and corn-bean soup, lots of raw carrots, tomatoes, celery and cabbage, an apple and some brown rice for a snack, Dinner will be the last of my SNAP meal I made Sunday.

Off to get dressed...4.6 weeks until audit field work--got my work cut out for me!

So I've got a .2 pound (overall) loss for the week, which is better than a .2 gain. It's really .8 gone, because I seemed to bounce up from the 132.8 of 3 weeks ago to 133.2. Either way, I'll take it. It's funny because 132 was my Weight Watchers' goal weight back in 1975, and here I am striving to reach that elusive, no-decimal-point 132, even though I set a lower goal so optimistically a year and a half ago. I don't care what's going on, as long as I stay down in this range. Normal. What a thought.

Taking a morning off of exercising (I left my workout clothes in the other closet--lazy me!) Taking some time in the chair by myself. It's been a hard work week in so many ways. Still heartsick about what happened yesterday and don't know if I did the right thing after all. I hope she comes back...