This is something I have never done--start a journal that folks can read--and starting one in the middle of my journey, as it were.
You all know how it is for me even if you never met me, because it's human nature. I start out on [any project] all gung ho, buy tons of supplies and equipment, get all enthusiastic, learn the jargon, make a mess of the house working on the project--then when it's half-finished, life takes over, I get bored, tired, or busy, and the detritus of the project just gets dusty and becomes part of the background. One more thing forgotten.
That's why when I started McDougalling in January I kept it pretty much to myself. I told Ted, of course, apologizing to him, because we had just bought ourselves a meat grinder attachment for the KitchenAid mixer, so we could grind our own cuts into hamburger. We planned part of our last trip around going to places recommended by Guy Fieri on "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives." Ted loves to cook for us, and he was pretty enthusiastic for the South Beach Diet, although he did his own version he called the Ted Beach diet, since it included sausages, bacon and he never went off Phase I and didn't reintroduce any fruits or whole grain breads. I got so sick of salads on South Beach I thought I'd never eat another naked leaf. Of course, I used Litehouse Blue Cheese Dressing on every single salad, so [literally] a fat lot of good it did me!
BTW, this is MY journal, so I'm probably going to ramble and not make a lot of linear sense. I may never get to the point I was going to make. But I'm responding to a perceived need that I have. I feel I am at a hump. I don't know when I might hit 60000 characters, so I'll just go on a bit.
SO--just like Wednesday is Hump Day, the place I'm at in my weight loss is the HUMP! Not quite half way through to my goal, just like Wednesday morning is not quite halfway through the week. Since Monday I have been feeling tired for no reason. I'm getting OK sleep, and no tension to speak of, but I am just dragging. I exercised Monday morning, but you should have seen me--dragging my feet through the steps, not even swinging my arms--and yesterday was no better. Yesterday was the first day of inventory and that ALWAYS ruins my sleep. I don't know what it is about it, maybe because it's not my job but it is my responsibility, and because I'm the aftermath: Get it all done, put it all away, and then Cloudy comes down to say "Pull it all out again! It doesn't match!" Also, because I need to know the whys, not just the numbers--how did it happen? Could it belong somewhere else?
Oh well. In any case. I felt so good last Friday, weighing in with 42 pounds lost, with my new little bits of clothes, looking so good. But since Monday, my body's been reminding me that at 180, I'm still obese, my belly (over 20 years old this summer!) is still in the way, my knee/hip flexor thing-pain is still bothering me, and I'm old. Obese--the Wii Fit tells me every day when I do the simple body test. In my calcs. I have 17 pounds to go before I'm there, but the Wii Fit weighs me 4 pounds heavier than the bathroom scale, so I probably have at least 22 to go. That's a long way! at 6 pounds a month, it's 3 1/2 months--October. Durrrr.
However. The doldrums is what I'm here to Journal my way out of. Peeked at the scale this a.m., and it said (gasp) 179.6!!!! That alone is enough to get me wild with delight! Even though I was too tired to exercise, and I'm even resting up to take a shower! (I told myself this journal was going to take precedence this morning.) I have not weighed this little since (I'm guessing) 1988. September 1988. Thinking about that scares me a little, but I am not superstitious. This entry is all about me, and I will talk about McDougalling later, but right now I am going to deal with me and my fear and my doldrums.
I am going to succeed at this! I have lost more than the 32 pounds I lost on SB and then could NOT lose any more to save my soul--and then regained! I love this way of eating and could do it for the rest of my life, which will be longer because I am saving my life by eating this way! I wish Ted will come along on this food journey, but I can't force it, and I don't know if his depression will continually get in the way. I just can't eat to please any more. That's why I apologized.
Wow. OK. Time to go eat breakfast and make lunch/dinner:
B:3/4 c oatmeal, 3/4 c. blueberries
L: Lettuce/tomato/cuke/pepper salad w/ 3-2-1
D: yam/spinach/bean soup
That was yesterday's food too. Because of inventory, I ate a teeny bit of soup and the salad, and then ate the rest of the soup before I left work as dinner, and ate my apple microwaved with cinnamon and a teeny bit of maple syrup when I got home. (Oh yeah, the sweet tooth came out of nowhere Monday with the blahs.) Oh yeah, and maybe 25 little rice crackers (flour--a no-no). Not on plan, but it worked to stop the giant hole that sweet tooth seemed to create.
Maybe I'll even get a shower in before I get dressed! Stupid meeting at 5:30 tonight. Never get home. Grrr.
Last edited by frozenveg
on Sun Oct 10, 2010 6:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.