This weekend has been horrible but I knew it would tough. Migraine since yesterday and a lot of stress because I'm pushing forward with my plans to move to Israel and that's causing me a lot of anxiety. I emailed the university that I want to drop and told them to go the devil (well, not really
. What I actually told them is that I have to reduce my workload for the time being because of family issues and that I would hopefully be returning at some point - the truth is that I will look for another 3rd university to add to my roster if I need to later on rather than go back to them but I wanted to at least keep them in the background in case of emergencies). I feel anxious about that because even though I'm very happy that this is my last set of courses with them (which will end in 3 weeks) and I'll have more time to devote to myself and my move, I know I'm leaving a good paying job. But the stress and toll it took on my mental and physical health wasn't worth it.
I also talked 2 hours with my parents yesterday about the move and other things about their visit here to the states. It seems that my brother is hurt because he feels I am avoiding him (heavens, why would he think that??? Could it possibly be because I know the minute he pins me down he'll feed me a lot of garbage to try and get me to sell my flat back to him at a reduced rate???) and that he wants to talk to me and not through email. Well, hello??? Has he suddenly developed a cramp n his hand so that he can't email me asking for a lunch date so we can chat? I am quite annoyed at this but I know it's because he can't see anything beyond himself as the center of attention for everyone. So as a favor to my parents, I emailed him casually a "hey we haven't seen each other for a while how about lunch next week?" I'll listen with a smile and a nod to all his crap and refer him back to my parents to duke it out about the flat.
This morning I had an interesting experience at the supermarket. I sometimes go to my local supermarket which caters to a lower income population (single moms on WIC, etc) I waited in line for some time to buy my red bell peppers (they had no Grape Nuts or canned pumpkin, can you believe that???) In front of me was a rather heavy African American woman with a child who must have been about 2 or 3. The child was rambunctious (but not mean-spirited, just curious) and was running around all over the place (with her mother trying to juggle keeping the kid in check and paying her groceries). While the mom was paying, the kid wandered to the candy section. I noticed that the man behind me (Latino) was watching her, not like "oh, Lord, don't let her start screaming" type of way but like a father would watch over a child.
This to me is the epitome of what the Mission District is all about - people feeling a community spirit even when they don't know one another. And the sad thing is that this is really starting to fade away because of people like my brother who muscle in and buy up the old Victorian buildings, kick out the old tenants that have been living there for 30 or 40 years (or more), remodel the place as "lofts", condo convert them, and then rent or sell them off to the shee-shees for a bundle. I was just chatting with my hairdresser last week about this. Five years ago when I lived in the city I hung out a lot in this area because I was doing a master's program at one of the private colleges on Valencia. The shee-shees were already beginning to muscle in but it was still very much a community feeling with a lot of ethnic groups, a little crusty and rough around the edges, but still a good vibe. Now it's much more shee-shee territory, with the old shops and restaurants being replaced by uppity cafes that won't sell non-fat lattes because non-fat milk is too "declasse" for them and who can pay the bundle for organic produce. San Francisco is becoming a rich people's city.
I have revamped my plan (again!) to try and incorporate more potatoes. Here's the standard menu that I plan on:
Morning: big bowl of oatmeal or oat bran with oat milk and some raisins or date sprinkled on top; 2 slices sprouted grain bread with jam
Mid-Morning: sweet potato with salsa or pineapple salsa and fruit
Afternoon: cooked whole grain and veggie soup
Evening: big salad with lemon juice and potato; baked corn tortillas or high fiber cereal, rice cakes with jam
I really want to stick with this for the next 2 months until my parents come in Sept to try and lose as much weight as possible and also to get myself into the McDougall routine so that I can continue on even while they are here. I did tell my Mom that I'm doing a very low fat vegan grain-based diet and that I lost 6 pounds so far (though only 3 of those were with MD - the other 3 were a low fat raw food plan that I did for a week before beginning MD). She was very happy about that so if I can continue to lose on MD, maybe she will be more open to the "no added fat" thing.
Today I have some work to do but I'm hoping to finish with a few hours for reading. I think I need to refamiliarize myself with the MD books. I have only one of them (the 12 Day Plan) so far (and the Quick and Easy Cookbook). One thing I noticed is that when I've gone off the plan in the last 2 weeks (this weekend notwithstanding), it hasn't been in my usual way (that is, an all out junk food binge). It has been in little ways (like a soy latte and a cookie or an ounce of chocolate). While it's never great to go off plan, this is a huge difference for me. I think one reason why is because I love the starch-base and it satisfies me.