One strength I've had that has served me well is my honesty. So I edited my meal "plan" for yesterday to be what I actually ate. Oh, and I should have added the 2 beers that went with the guac and chips.
This is the plan today. Keep reading, watching videos (Jessica Bowan is awesome, eh?) and eat the following:
Morn: beans, rice, salad
Aft: veg curry, beans rice salad, carrots, radishes
Eve: SAD, so sad
Exercise: 20 flights stairs- foot is getting better. I was up to 50 flights before the foot issue and would like to be there again. Not ready to run again yet but hoping to get there in the next couple of months.
You know this is the place I'm in. Part of me started to go ahhhh why am I still here...still struggling and not where I want to be healthwise and then I thought....I don't even care to do that anymore. I just want it to stop. So these are my tools...others along the path and their wisdom, my journal and even people around me that care about me. I told my mother I'd come see her and my sick father on Friday if she helped me stay clean (healthy food, no alcohol). Fridays are my hardest days. Terrible daughter huh? But whatever it takes until I don't need it anymore. She said ok. She doesn't want to see me go back to where I was a few years ago- when I lost almost a hundred lbs. And for the first time since I'm very worried I will. Maybe I'll start telling all my friends this...I'll see you but you have to help my ego strength. No bad food allowed.