Yeah...an eating disorder!
I'm just embarrassed to tell lots of people I know that I'm now gluten & soy free...I just don't feel like explaining all of it, plus the fact that I was so outspoken before about diet, etc., and I jumped through hoops to hide my sypmtoms for years, and it's just embarrassing to have to try to explain it all. This makes me feel ingenuine, I guess, for leaving things out, acting secretively and strangely (keeping reasons for suddenly not eating stuff I use to eat to myself) and even somewhat hypocritical, I feel, since I have taken up wild fish and free range eggs...because I get too hungry and haven't had the chance/time, or just haven't been able to get it together to figure out big enough meals minus the gluten and soy. So...I suspect there are some who might wonder if either I've developed an eating disorder or just gone wacko, or what...but I don't feel like explaining. It's very involved, especially since I can't stand to be sick, and can get into a state of denial of it, and then do all sorts of stuff to hide it from those around me...so...even groundhubby didn't know what was going on until I had passed beyond the point of thinking I might be dying of some awful thing. Once I had enough improvement to feel I was on the healing track (though still had quite a ways to go), I finally told him of my struggles I'd been through, increasingly, for the past decade...when I explained various stituations that had occurred because of this, he could look back and see how I had been hiding / denying a LOT of stuff, every day, really. The only reason I was able to keep my job during all of this was because my office is situated next door to the restroom...I could get there quickly...and often made sure I heard others leave and the place was empty so I could run in there and explode by myself..without audience, etc. Lots of things worked out that way...I don't even know if I could've held down a job without having been right next door to the restroom, to tell you the truth! My coworkers were aware of my stomach's howling sounds, though...because meetings were often interrupted by my stomach sounds...followed by laughter...I laughed too, but it hurt really bad, but I denied that pain, and a lot of other stuff.
And the gastroenterolgist thing...that's just scary. When the doctors act schizophrenic, it gets pretty disturbing...I mean...it's as if it's okay to be celiac if THEY say so...otherwise, there are just entirely too many people abstaining from gluten...okay, whatever. The estimates made by gastro researchers are now too high because gastros don't believe what other gastros are finding...uh-huh...and, WHO'S NUTS????????
I feel extremely fortunate in that my immediate family feels empathy with my situation and they are all very sensitive and thoughtful...they have altered their diets in a big way so that we can all easily enjoy meals together without difficulty. I've seen lots of people on celiac boards who couldn't even get their families' support! Maybe the same with some here too...anyway...it's a crazy thing right now...then you have people like Dr. Fine and Dogtor J, who say almost everybody (including dogs and cats) would probably see better health without gluten! It's a crazy thing, and it should be interesting to watch which way research goes and what happens in the future. I've got a feeling there's as much money in some wheat council as there is in the dairy council and meat organizations, etc.
For now...those of us who got relief from daily struggles associated with gluten should consider ourselves very lucky that at least we found it out and have some course of action to take to feel well...without NEEDING approval of any doctors or anyone else, really. Still...I am pretty embarrassed to mention it to people I know...very few know about it.
Fern...I haven't told my mother...works out so much better that way