Discussion Board

I apologize for what may be viewed as a questionable concern, but I feel as though I am obsessing over my diet. At least, this is what my family and friends lead me to question!

For example, while my turning things down doesn't bother them, my special requests at restaurants do bother them. They also feel as though I have an obsession with being "too healthy." I'm always told that everyone will someday die, and that no Asian would turn down an occasional treat. But, the fact is, the majority would--because the taste is horrid.

Just to put this into perspective, they would consider Weight Watchers "obsessing" and a generally healthy diet with "exceptions" not obsessing.

I do worry that I obsess, and compared to my pre-McDougall days, it can sometimes feel that way. Is there a way to minimize this mindset? How do I feel more comfortable with this being just a lifestyle and not another "rule"?

What we eat and what we enjoy are learned. Tiny children in all cultures are offered the food their families eat and they learn to like it. Some eat insects (Vietnam), some eat raw blubber, some eat mostly vegetables, some eat pizza and burgers. They do not obsess over their diets. They eat what they are used to. Very small children learn everything faster than the rest of us. Like language. If you want to learn a new language as an adult it will take years and you will never get the accent exactly right. You will have to concentrate very hard on your pronunciation and grammar. Some might call it obsessing over the new language. Completely changing your way of eating requires the same concentration and learning curve. You can call it obsession. Or you can call it learning something new--just like learning any new thing. And if you are learning a language in a place where no one else speaks that language it will be more difficult than if you spend a few months in the country where the natives speak the language you are trying to learn. So learning your new way of eating where everyone else is eating the SAD is more difficult than if you went--say--to rural Okinawa where no one would think you are obsessing.

Didi

Chances are your family members know, at some level, that the foods they are eating do not support a healthy life; chances are that seeing you make healthier choices makes them feel guilty, wrong, or weak. They see themselves as losing status because they can't/won't make those choices, and they feel uncomfortable. De-fuse the situation by saying something like "This is just something I'm trying out, and it seems to be working for me" or something similar that lets you make your choices but doesn't put them on the spot.

Don't let this become a stumbling block that keeps you from finding success with this WOE. This is one of those things where you can justifiably put yourself first.

Go ahead and worry that you are obsessing. Go ahead and be concerned people are thinking you are a bit off. This will all melt away as the time rolls on and two things will likely happen.
1. You will get more comfortable as the days roll on and it all becomes your new routine.
2. The things you choose to eat and the way your food is prepared will become more mainstream as time goes on.

Hindsight is always 20/20 but ask where organic items were 10 years ago. Ask where whole grains were 5 years ago. I could spend all day reciting the changes we have seen and the pace of change is speeding up. Could you imaging a president of our country, former or otherwise, eating the way we do? I couldn't forsee it and i can only imagine what lies around the corner. Heck, if worry is a coping mechanism wallow in it. There are going to be a lot more of you as time goes on with the same worry.
f1jim

At least based on what you've shared, it sounds like you are just fine. No different than me actually. Fortunately, I am surrounded by people that aspire to be lean so if they see my getting results, they don't hassle me much.

Sounds like you don't have that luxury as much, eh?

To me, it just sounds like you are at a bit of a higher level of nutritional consciousness than they are and they don't get you and are a bit narrow minded around these things. I think you need to learn to tell yourself something like:

"I accept myself and enjoy my healthy lifestyle, regardless of what other people think. I can rise above their opinions and keep eating my healthy diet and enjoy the benefits of it."


Practice telling yourself that everyday for 3 weeks and what they say won't bother you much any more.

The best rules and the ones we're most likely to keep are the rules we make for ourselves. Do the rules you live by belong to you or to someone else? Apparently your family and friends want you to live by their rules. You have to decide if that's okay or not.

http://www.businessballs.com/rulesoflife.htm

One man's trash is another man's treasure. Treats aren't always treats. Treats may not always be good for you, but a treat is almost always something you actually want. If something doesn't appeal to you, then it's not much of a treat. I turn down things I don't want, but I usually don't say "I can't have that." I say "I don't want that," because the truth is that I can have any food I want. As for special requests at restaurants, you are the customer, and the customer is always right, unless posted otherwise in the menu.

There is a learning curve involved in any change. You don't have to beat yourself up when you find yourself rubbing against the wall, unless that's what you really want...

For those that don't care what they eat, very little planning is ever required for anything. They can go to work, weddings, pot-lucks, vacations, picnics, baseball games, restaurants, etc. and not think twice about the food. They will eat pretty much anything that is served and if they aren't happy, there will always be a McDonald's they can hit on the way home.

This WOE does take planning which may come across as obsessing. If you are feeding a family, even more planning is involved.

If we are going on a long trip, I have to pack food. If we are going to a sporting event, I have to make sure everyone eats before we get there and pack a few healthy snacks that I can take in. If out of town guests want to go to a restaurant, I check the menu out online and call the restaurant in advance. All day at a theme park? Lots of planning when you are feeding a family. All that planning comes across as obsessing. Most people don't think twice about what they will eat when they head out the door so I look extremely obsessed compared to them. Maybe I am?? But I am not sure how else to do it without planning.

I think we have to obsess, at least in the beginning. We've spent most of our lives, believing the lies told to us by the meat and dairy industry. We used to have different ideas about what healthy eating was. Many of us face peer pressure, to stop what we are doing and be "normal" again. I think this without the positive reinforcement of further educating ourselves and discussing some of these issues, it would be too easy to lapse back into the old lifestyle.

Food addiction is so different that most of the well known addictions, cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, because we still have to eat. you can quit smoking cigarettes, it's going to suck for a little while, but then you are done. We have to make food choices all the time. So I think a little obsession is in order.

I try to explain it to people, like my Mom, "You don't eat onions, or peppers, or clams, or oysters. I don't eat meat or dairy, it's not really a big deal." Then she turned around and told a mutual friend that I had become a "vegan nazi", so on second thought, maybe you shouldn't explain it the way I did.

This is an interesting topic with many insightful comments.

Maybe a high degree of vigilance is needed to be successful with McDougalling--especially if you have high levels of involvement with people who eat differently.

Some have found that many of their past successes were achieved by such focusing and they are simply employing their ability to focus in regard to eating for health--something that is quite challenging if you have not done it before.

I think many here would agree that dealing with the behavior of those who eat differently--family, friends, waiters, cooks etc.--is the most challenging aspect of McDougalling. If you have no interactions with others who eat differently, perhaps little vigilance would be required...but I suppose most of us here would not choose such isolation from the 99% of the people--those weirdos who live to eat, go for the gusto and have little concern about the relationship between diet and health.

So I assume that most who are successful obsess about eating properly. The important question for me is, "Do I obsess excessively?"

I have...and maybe I am now (just by writing this)... and I probably will again. However, to avoid the major killers (diabetes, cardiovascular diseases and cancer) that are all part of my family history, I think that focusing my mental and physical energies on eating for health are worth the costs.

Maybe others will adapt to our sanity after a while and these weirdos will stop thinking we are too eccentric....

I will turn to one of my other obsessions now....

my mom uses the same language!!! The reality is that she is the obsessing one, she can't eat a single thing that is not garbage! I think with obsessing its like the old he who smelt it dealt it and the accuser is the one who's actually obsessed!

We have learned that bad foods are like poison, hand them a glass of water with a bunch of hairs and shards of glass in it and tell them they are just obsessing if they don't drink it, water from a stream isn't any cleaner, why do they need to be so obsessive!

They say that like being obsessive about your health is a bad thing?

If the world were a bit more health friendly you wouldn’t have to be so vigilant, but it’s not.

The rewards of good health will far outweigh the discomfort of dealing with their criticisms.

It really irritates me when people say that, like I think this WOE will make me live forever?

I know I'm going to die, I just plan to be as healthy as possible right up until that moment. I don't fear death near as much as I fear an unhealthy life.

To be successful at almost anything, you have to brush off the judgment of others. If you are doing well with this WOE then who cares what people say to you.

I think the issue is, is the time and energy you spend on food making your life better or worse? Is it stressing you out? Is it keeping you from enjoying life and doing things you want to do, or is it enhancing your enjoyment of life and making you happy?

For instance, I am on vacation at the beach right now, and I knew from experience that healthy satisfying food would be hard to find. I packed a cooler full of premade meals and a bunch of other stuff. It took a lot of time and effort, but it's enabling me to enjoy my vacation.

Yesterday we went out to lunch and the only thing on the menu I could have was a plain green salad with no dressing. I got a container of soy milk and an apple from the cooler to supplement the salad, and when we got back to our hotel room I made a big bowl of oatmeal in the microwave. No deprivation, and I was able to enjoy a social occasion with a new friend. Then last night we went out to dinner at one of two restaurants here where I can get safe food. I had delicious vegetable sushi and salad, and our meat eating dinner companion ordered fish. This morning for breakfast I heated one of my premade meals, and I'll do the same for lunch and dinner. In between, I'll relax and enjoy the beach. Some people would probably call me obsessive. Whatever.

I'd rather obsess about the food I eat than about bad lab numbers and high bp
And you could call me obsessed too, I keep reading here , just ordered "The Starch Solution" and everyday I am "obsessing" ahem planing what I will feed me and my SO.

This obsession is the best anyone can have