Discussion Board

So, I'm on Facebook this morning and a friend of mine posted a photo of a beautiful fruit plate. She thought it would be a great idea for a party. Half the plate has what looks like a rainbow. The outer edge is strawberries, just inside that is a row of tangerines, then pineapple, then green grapes and finally blueberries (ROYGB). Imagine that as the top half of the plate. At the bottom of the rainbow on the left looks like a little pile of mints and at the bottom of the right side of the rainbow is a little bowl of Rolos (wish I could figure out how to post this pic - I think it originally came from Pinterest). Anyhoo, my first thought was to simply take the mints and chocolate off the plate. They don't fit with the picture anyway. You could do the whole plate with the fruit instead of half or the second half could be similarly colored veggies.

I digress, my point is someone posted, "Any idea how to make it a little more healthy? I have a friend at work who just got diagnosed with diabetes and I don't want to tempt her with things she can't have."

I assume she's not struggling with the concept of taking the candy off the plate. Why would any grown adult need help figuring that one out. So, it must be the fruit. It's partly the wording I have a hard time with. How can you use the words "make it a little more healthy" when refering to a plate filled with whole, unprocessed fruit? I did a search on Jeff's forum on diabetes and fruit and it seems like diabetics can have whole, unprocessed fruit. The person who posted the initial link is studying to be a dietitian and she didn't say one word about fruit being a healthy option for a diabetic.

Anyway, this is not my only gripe, hence my title, "having a hard time letting go." Whenever I get really serious about following this plan I struggle in the beginning with cravings and a sense of loss. I get extra irritable about the ignorance surrounding diet and health. I think I get mad because it makes it harder for me to stick to my plan when I'm surrounded by tempting foods I can't have that other people think are healthy. It makes my life harder and that frustrates me. I also hate that I have no credibility compared to a dietitian or a doctor or a nutritionist. I'm sure my lack of long term success plays a big part in that too.

I guess I wanted to vent but also wondered how people let it go? I know you all see this and hear this kind of thing everyday too. How do you free your mind of the frustration and anger over the medical and pharmaceutical industries killing people with bad information about health? I need to worry about myself. I need to lead by example not by spouting off information I've read. I need peace of mind.

What do you do when you get that noisy debater in your head who wants to tear into people on Facebook or at work over diet? How do let it go and worry about your own health and not think about other people whose health is suffering because they have the wrong information?

[quote="kkrichar"]
What do you do when you get that noisy debater in your head who wants to tear into people on Facebook or at work over diet? How do let it go and worry about your own health and not think about other people whose health is suffering because they have the wrong information?[/quote

kkrichar........I know what you mean...I have only been at this for 7 months..at first I struggled with the very same issue...now I just look at what my coworkers are eating in front of me..or I look at the cows next to my property being raised to be eaten...or the patient i am taking care of and their statement about not worrying about their diabetes or cholesterol because now the good doctor has them on the right medicine..all the while eating their cheeseburger for dinner of their egg omelet with their cream cheese bagel for breakfast..you have to turn your attention to you...plain and simple and know you are not caught in that web of deception....just be joyful that you have chosen this new WOE...and smile at yourself...let them go..it's just not worth it...I look back at all the years I was also caught...now I am free.....to choose my health through my food...it's all about me!

My thing right now that seems to be working is, Ive grown tired of the fight. The fight to stay on plan, the fight to have just a little bit and it ends up being a lot. Ive just grown tired of it all.

As for people thinking their bad habits are good ones. Ive just shrug my shoulders now. Ive had so many people try to debate me, and while I can shut them up using what Ive learned here in speak, Im sure they look at me and think "yeah right, okay" while they roll their eyes at me.

I almost have to have a switch where I say I just dont care anymore. Ive told them of the science and if their too stupid or nieve to realize their "moderation" is killing them, then so be it. I dont care anymore. All I can control is me and to some extent my kids. Even my husband Ive been having an issue with. And while I love him deeply, Ive had to emply a similar thing. He knows the science and knows eating the crap he has is not good, but he still does it. So I just shrug, its all I can do at this point.

If I keep worrying about everyone else, I will make no progress with myself and myself is all I can fix.

Oh and for that picture, I posted a similar one on pinterest, but it had marshmellows and bananas for the clouds. Tell whoever posted it with the question to make it healthier to replace the candy with more fruit, like bananas for the clouds at the end of the rainbow.

Thanks Giddyup. That was so beautifully said. Just reading the words felt calming to me.



I need to make this my daily mantra.

Thanks Debbie. I'm exactly where you are right now! Thanks for reminding that I can use the same method I used to let go of the SAD to let go of the frustration with other people. I have a little prayer I quote, "relieve me of the bondage of self...take away make difficulties that victory of them may bear witness to those I would help."

Such great things from all of you. Thank you! I love this place!!!!

Those were supposed to be clouds?? Oh, OK, I get it now. Thanks for clearing that up for me. I think I would banish clouds from mine, keep the top half the same (as the one I described) and make the bottom half: radishes, orange bell peppers, yellow squash, cucumber, and blue potatoes. Then, put a bowl of fat free hummus in the middle.

Someone just explained to me the marshmallows on the left are a cloud and the Rolos on the right are the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Sooo, maybe you could mix fruits and veggies, like Debbie's photo, put the hummus at the end of the rainbow for the pot of gold and then put some, hmmm, bananas for the cloud? Or baby white potatoes. Could be really cool. Of course, my dietitian friend suggested substituting nuts for the Rolos and Greek yogurt for the marshmallows .....breathe in .... breathe out .... grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.....

I have made my diet a more or less private aspect of my life. I don't talk about it very much and try to let the annoying, false diet information people spout every day just blow past me like bad weather. I definitely feel the tug, sometimes, to evangelize. I do believe this diet is the healthiest and most ecologically sustainable and cheapest! Good for people, animals, and the earth!

BUT.... I know most people are not ready to hear it. I live in a very crunchy-granola area but even here very-low-fat veganism is considered a radical way of eating and borderline eating disorder. Since I don't have any real health problems, I don't have any "excuse" other than sheer orneriness.

And of course, yeah, I have no more credibility than anyone, so why should they listen to me?

Recently I have had a few bouts of, Why can't I eat all those things (cakes, creamy desserts) and everyone else can? Then I tell myself: I CAN eat them. I can eat whatever I want. But it will harm my health just as it is harming everyone else's. So I choose not to.

"Letting go" is a good way to put it. One of the hardest and most important things I've done since adopting the McDougall diet almost a year ago is learn to LET GO of all my competitive, judgmental, jealous feelings about other people and what they do. I feel like I've changed hugely since eating this way: calmer, more pleasant, and no longer carrying bitterness and resentment.

Lately one thing that's been getting my goat in a big way is the demonizing of sugar. I know a ton of sugar is not good for you, and sodas and whatall are terrible, but sugar is a basic building block of food energy and not a poison. So when people go on and on about banning sugar and replacing it with bacon, or whatever, I just go to my inner quiet place and say, It's just another fad! It too will pass, just like everything else!!

OMMMMMM

Oh mylanta, Broadbean. You just made me see what my problem is! I knew part of it was my own frustration with doing something I find difficult. I'm like that. I want the rest of the world to do the right thing so it will be easy for me to do it. I wanted the government to ban cigarettes so I would quit smoking. I wanted to go to rehab so I couldn't get my hands on alcohol. I wanted to go to "fat camp" so someone would make me exercise and keep me away from candy. I have always wanted someone to save me from myself. I almost bought a t-shirt I saw on theonion.com. It said, "Why doesn't someone do something about how fat I am?" I LOVE that shirt. It's exactly how I think about everything. In the end, with alcohol and cigarettes, I had to save myself and I have to save myself with food too. No one is going to make it easier for me (except for all you here at McD, of course)

However, what you made me see is that my irritability is also about competitiveness and jealousy. I told myself I was concerned about the injustices of the pharm and medical industries, the manipulation and profit mongering of the fast food and diet industries (and the pharm and med). How am I supposed to stay silent when so many people are suffering and I have the answer? Here I am to save the day!!!! The truth is I'm jealous of the 5'11", trim, fit, gorgeous blond who eats little chocolate donuts, Greek yogurt, and pork chops while going to school full time to be a dietitian, raising two beautiful kids, working out everyday, posting witty comments on Facebook and is married to the man I had a huge crush on in college. I'm jealous of everyone who looks good but doesn't have to 'sacrifice' all the 'good' stuff like I do. I'm also competitive and I want to show everyone they should listen to what I say not the doctors or nutritionists. I want to lose more weight and faster than anyone who chooses a diet different from mine. I want to show them I'm right and they're wrong and I have failed to accomplish any of the those things. I'm angry, embarrassed, and jealous. Period.

Wow, I feel so much better now! Thanks for sharing honestly so I could see a little more truth about myself. I think I'll repost this in my journal so I can always come back to it when I need to be reminded.

I am powerless over other people's choices and beliefs and my life is unmanageable when I forget that fact.
Came to believe...........

Here's a couple more ideas:





THese were posted by Engine2 on pinterest.

I so, so, so know where you're coming from. I've had a terrible time in my career the last few years. The success of some other people who I perceive as "less qualified" has been really difficult. I finally quit my job and went back to school -- which temporarily has made things worse, since I'm now essentially starting over and am way behind my peers, not to mention making no money and using all my savings!

But I realized that my envy and resentment of people was just killing me, driving me to drink and overeating and being unpleasant to be around. McDougalling has been part of my way of working on MYSELF only, bringing myself to where I want to be, and letting others do what they're gonna do.

It's a process, one I have to work on every day. But dang, if it's not actually working! My husband even pointed out that I seem like a different person these days. I credit McDougall! Feeling good every day makes a huge difference.

Hugs to you!!!!

PS I love that onion tee-shirt!

Okay, those palm trees are ADORABLE!

I struggle with leaving people alone myself. I know so many people that are sick and continue to harm themselves every day. When I try to talk about what I am doing, most of the time I see eyes glaze over and hear responses like," But I drink 2% milk!"

I am working on letting go of other people and keeping my fool mouth shut, just haven't succeeded yet.

My fortune in this journey so far is my wife committing with me, and teaching my kids(a struggle at times). My parents have also given up meat and dairy for about 4 months now and are experiencing the benefits!

One of my personal life lessons is that I can't control the people around me, but what I can control are my actions. Some people just aren't worth the adrenaline -- I have better uses for it! : )

But, I hear your frustration. My gym posts things on Facebook all the time that just make me want to scream -- recipes for "healthy" food that contain 10 different kinds of fat, and they posted a "what did you have for dinner" and then advised some of the folks that they need to add more fat to their salad to make it "healthy." Aarrgh. Am about ready to hide the posts on Facebook -- I keep them up so I get the scoop on classes and stuff, but I am sure I can find that out elsewhere.

Hang tight and make good use of this forum!

Sharon

I know I can only be the best example of this WOE to my family and friends.

If people ask what I'm doing eating wise or ask for advice, I'll tell them. I'll send them an email with URLs to here and Engine 2 and Forks over Knives - but I leave it at that. I don't have time to preach to them or correct their eating habits - simply because it falls on deaf ears. And quite frankly, I don't like it when they get in my face about protein and dairy - I don't want to get into theirs. But don't get me wrong - I do care about my family and close friends and I advice them about what I perceive to be bad food choices.

Walking in our local mall today, I felt 10 feet tall knowing that I am doing the best for me and I have the numbers to prove it with my cholesterol, bp and weight down. I felt, felt almost as if I was "super human" for being so healthy. It was a very strange feeling, but very motivating to stay on track.

On the flip-side, at Lowe's today, I saw this poor elderly woman being pushed in a wheelchair, on oxygen with an incredibly gray completion. I just thought is this best we can do? Is this what our medical community aspires too? Why do we let people get like this?

I don't have any answers about that, but do keep the faith. If people see us healthy and active they'll want a piece of our "pie", too.

Peace out...